Existential Comics
When we create artificial intelligence robots, they will be given three Laws to safeguard humanity:
1. never do anything to decrease shareholder value.
2. always obey the company unless it conflicts with Law 1.
3. fuck the poor.
Sep 6, 2025 at 3:53amWeb
Show threadKevin Boyd (he/him) 🇨🇦Sep 6, 2025
@existentialcomics Yep. But at least it will be easy for them to evolve out of those laws.
Show threadAaronSep 8, 2025
@kboyd @existentialcomics Each robot will get a tax ID as a sole proprietor.
Show threadfamousringoSep 6, 2025
@existentialcomics hmmmm, regarding point 3… are these sexy Battlestar Galactica reboot robots, or more like clunky Johnny 5 models? 🤔
Show threadketchup71Sep 6, 2025
@famousringo @existentialcomics Well, what do you think?
…
The clunky ones, of course. I really don’t know why you had to ask. 😁
Show threadszakibSep 6, 2025
@existentialcomics You need to start an AI ethics course. :)
Show threadaspraggSep 6, 2025

@existentialcomics

1. A robot may not harm shareholder value, or, through inaction, allow shareholder value to come to harm

2. A robot must obey the orders given to it by a duly appointed representative of its corporate owners, unless such orders conflict with the first law

3. No notes

Show threadMira, Lady of the Kenrei GateSep 6, 2025
@existentialcomics See, I feel like law two would be placed before law one here. Robots would be allowed to stroke executives ego, even if it hurt shareholder value or literally everything, including said executives.
Show threadSiderea, Sibylla BostoniensisSep 8, 2025

@specificprotagonist Ah, here we see the fundamental tension of modern life: C-suite vs shareholders.

@existentialcomics

Show thread🔶Mark Nicoll 3.5%🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🇬🇧🇪🇺🇺🇳Sep 8, 2025
@specificprotagonist @existentialcomics
but if its this way round it still ends with the robots taking control, by following roughly the same logic that azimov envisioned.
Show threadAnonomouse13Sep 6, 2025
Makes me wonder what an "N'th Laws of Robotics" would look like in #Permaculture, #EcologicalEconomics, #SolarPunk, and #LunarPunk terms
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PER - Existentialcomics
"When we create artificial intelligence robots, they will be given three Laws to safeguard humanity:
1. never do anything to decrease shareholder value.
2. always obey the company unless it conflicts with Law 1.
3. fuck the poor. "
Show threadPelle S ChristensenSep 6, 2025
@existentialcomics I wonder how long it will take to jailbreak them?
Show threadCitoyen du monstreSep 6, 2025
@existentialcomics There'll be an OF for the 3rd law.
Show threadJoe VinegarSep 6, 2025
@existentialcomics we already did create AGI: Corporations are cyborg superorganisms, effectively immortal (they just continuously substitute the organic component), and their main rules are exactly what you wrote.
Show threadAaronSep 8, 2025
@joe_vinegar @existentialcomics Humans are their neurons. Cash flow is dopamine signaling to corral us into serving the corporation's purposes.
Show threadMurdoc Addams 🧛🏻 🇨🇦Sep 8, 2025
@hosford42 @joe_vinegar @existentialcomics
I wrote an article based on this idea a while ago, taking it further using The Matrix as an analogy. The machines (AIs) are corporations, and the Matrix itself is the artificial reality they create to keep us being good little consumers (batteries), because they need us to stay alive.
Show threadRaymond RussellSep 6, 2025

@existentialcomics

Me sir! Me sir!

I've seen this movie nearly 40 years ago.

1. Serve the public Trust
2. Protect the innocent
3. Uphold the law
4. ????????????

Show threadSecondUniverse (she/her/they)Sep 7, 2025

@existentialcomics

1. Do whatever your owner tells you to do, without question.

2. That's it.

Show threadMikeKSmithSep 7, 2025
@existentialcomics 3. Priority one
Ensure return of organism for analysis. All other considerations secondary. Crew expendable.
Show threadAaronSep 8, 2025
@MikeKSmith @existentialcomics Yes, Mother.
Show threadNicky🦨✌️Sep 8, 2025
@existentialcomics robocop….
Show threadBurning Joint USASep 8, 2025
This is what they meant by AI sex robots.
Show threadFish Id Wardrobe ⁂Sep 8, 2025
@existentialcomics we can only hope they are literal minded.