ok, day 4 without fibre, realized that the wrong corner of the house has better 5G.
Damn.
But. i think i can move around my APs and "reverse" the mesh.
Debian and IPHONE to the rescue
i regret saying Debian would save me 😮‍💨😭
@joany I bought a GL.inet device that does USB tethering for emergencies. Instead of getting everything on to an iPhone's WiFi, I tether to the GL.inet, then connect via Ethernet to my current NAT router, then everything else, wired and wireless, can stay the same.

From what I've read, USB tethering to the iPhone is a huge PITA.

Tethering via WiFi is simple and works, but I don't like to run multiple WiFi in the same location.

Which part didn't work for you?
@AnachronistJohn IPHONE did not give any DHCP
But I am testing something else.
I have had wierd experiences with Debian before
Bluetooth crashed my laptop, but no issues with #bunsenlabslinux