Dgar
I drank some invisible ink and now I’m in the hospital waiting to be seen.
Jul 28 at 5:11amWeb
Show threadJason844Jul 28
@dgar I see what you did there...
Show threadDgarJul 28
@Jason844 no you don’t
Show threadTrèsFluke 🍁Jul 28
@dgar I'm all out of patients with you
Show threadDgarJul 28
@darrenmorin 🤭
Show threadSexybiggetje🐖Jul 28
@dgar I needed this, nice 😁
Show threadcroutonJul 28
@dgar are you in the habit of going to the hospital naked?!
Show threadDgarJul 28
@crouton
Under these clothes, I’m always naked.
Show threadArapallaJul 28

@dgar

I used to work for a cosmetics company. We kept losing pallets of vanishing cream.

Show threadDgarJul 28
@Arapalla 🤭
Show threadIan K TindaleJul 28
@dgar
doctor doctor the invisible man is in the waiting room
Tell him I can’t see him
Show threadDgarJul 28
@u0421793 😂
Show threadHugs4friends ♾🇺🇦 🇵🇸😷Jul 28
@dgar Where? I caaaaan't seeee yoooooo!
Show threadDgarJul 28
@Tooden 😁
Show threadFace ThumbJul 28
@dgar I don't have an inkling what you're talking about
Show threadBen Royce 🇺🇦Jul 28

@dgar

i went to the hospital for dad joke poisoning

i said to the doctor, "hi doctor, i'm sick"

the doctor said to me "hi, sick, i'm your doctor"

and then the horror hit me as the doctor faded, their terrible smile morphing across my field of view and then dissolving into the icy fluorescent lighting

it was all a hallucination

i was still in a cold sweat, still laying on the bathroom floor, still recovering from a dgar post

Show threadDgarJul 28
@benroyce 😂
Show threadGJ Groothedde 🇪🇺Jul 28
@benroyce @dgar 😂😂😂😂😂
Show threadBen Royce 🇺🇦Jul 28

@Eetschrijver @dgar

the horror...

the horror...

Show threadlp0 on fire Jul 29

@benroyce @dgar, laying what, though… 🥚?

No, I don't think that I want to know.

Show threadBen Royce 🇺🇦Jul 29
@lp0_on_fire @dgar 😆
Show threadStarry Starry KnightJul 28
@dgar This is good... modern #healthcare needs more transparency... 🤩
Show threadDgarJul 28
@Space6host 😏
Show threadVoracious ReaderJul 28

@dgar

I'm glad you have a policy of full transparency.

Show threadBonkersJul 28
@dgar if it's a radioactive marker, it would be the right time to see if your Geiger counter actually works
Show threadNick Silkey🎙️N5ILK 🪓🪵 🪣💧Jul 28
@dgar nice one, dad. ✌️💙
Show threadMichael HorowitzJul 28
@dgar in the tradition of Steven wright.
Show threadJosh GrantJul 28
@dgar boooo
Show threadMaj1 THE Neuro Spicy SquirrelJul 28

@dgar G’day Jon 👋😊

I think the chances of them finding a cure are vanishingly small! 😜

Show threadDgarJul 28
@MAJ1 🤭
Show threadPianosaurus 🕴Jul 28
@dgar Quick, to the I.C.U.!
Show threadDgarJul 29
@pianosaurus 😆
Show threadOverdrawn at the Gravitas BankJul 28
@dgar Isn't that less important than _feeling_ seen?
Show threadChris SamuelJul 29
@dgar @sabik ah that explains why you're a little pen-sive...
Show threadRailmapsJul 29
@dgar
Can you fill this jar for me?
I did.
No you didn't.
Show threadDoug 🌈🇨🇦 Jul 29
@dgar 🙄