Are you a boy or a girl?
I'm nonbinary.

Yeah, but what were you born as?
A baby.

No, I mean what is your sex?
Awesome.

FFS! Do you have a penis or a vagina??
I've had my share of both.

OMFG!! WHAT IS IN YOUR PANTS??
A frankly disturbing number of lockpicks.

@alice Why so many lockpicks tho? Youtube says all locks can be opened with a rake or a jiggler.
@theartlav @alice i have zero lockpicks in my pants and that is frankly disturbing to me
@theartlav old boyscout motto: never send a male prostitute with a lawn maintenance tools to do a tubular lockpick's job.
@alice @theartlav You and I went to very different Scout troops.
@alice @theartlav Come to think of it, if I'd gone to one like yours, I might have stuck around.

@KatS I was never actually a scout of any sort, but I did teach them archery for a while.

@theartlav

@alice @KatS @theartlav Probably for the best. Paramilitaries kind of suck, even if they teach you some first aid and wilderness survival skills.

(And the BSA is absolutely a paramilitary for kids.)

@trashpanda yeah, the overt Christianity was hard to be around too, but most of the kids were awesome.

@KatS @theartlav

@alice @KatS @theartlav huh, I wonder if I could find an excuse to teach my kid's girl scout troop to pick locks...

@eruonna valuable life skill 😁

You never know when you're going to need to get into (or out of) something.

@KatS @theartlav

@alice I'm in a different bubble. For one moment I asked myself what your are doing with that bike crank puller and why it looks so strange.
@alice @theartlav Which reminds me, I need to get some transparent padlocks and lockpick kits for my Cub Scout unit

@duncan_bayne I'd only get a transparent lock or two for demonstration purposes, but images and video clips of lock internals are even better.

Acrylic locks get cloudy and deteriorate quickly with amateur use, plus they teach new pickers to rely on sight, which they'll never use when applying the skill anywhere else.

@theartlav

@alice @theartlav I only know the "Fire Brigade Method" of breaking a lock cylinder with a hardened tool steel screw, than hammering it out.

  • In cases where a door needs to get opened but it's not a "life or death" scenario…
@theartlav @alice Not all of us are that skilled.
@alice Just one more question:
Will you go out with me? πŸ˜‰
@Gorfram you near Seattle or down with virtual dates? πŸ€·πŸΌβ€β™€οΈ

@alice
I am very flattered; and rather embarrassed: I meant my question as a jokey compliment rather than a true romantic overture.

I do happen to be near Seattle (north end); & I would be delighted if you wanted to have coffee with a boringly cishet & monagamously spoken for old Xoomer. But I would also understand perfectly if not.

@Gorfram Sounds like you're probably within easy driving distance of me.

I'd ve happy to grab coffee sometime just for the fun of it. My Signal/Matrix contact info is on my profile, send me a message if you're up for it 😊

@alice opportunity to post this skit www.youtube.com/shorts/c44a3rfVMIU

-carrie
the stool sketch πŸ’©

YouTube
@alice and that’s before they try to get their head around what a pansexual is πŸ˜‚πŸ€¦πŸ»β€β™‚οΈ
@not_a_label I'm into cookware, what's there to not get πŸ’πŸΌβ€β™€οΈ
@alice what’s not to love about a good 🍳 πŸ˜‚

@not_a_label
A well seasoned cast iron skillet would easily lure me into many places.   

Frying an egg in it without it sticking?   

I also enjoy panoramic photography, and sifting through rocks to categorize and sort them, but those are different pans.
@alice

@h3mmy @not_a_label @alice
Lure… πŸ˜…

@zipkid
Omg!    That stove!        That countertop!!       

And a usable looking mortar and pestle. And... Is that an egg slide? I haven't seen those in over a decade!

Ok, you have successfully lured me. That is a beautiful kitchen!   

 I almost forgot about the pans. I would feel compelled to work on seasoning the left cast iron more. The middle one looks like it could use some love and the one on the right has a very even patina on the bottom, may need some light oiling on the sides but all three are in pretty decent shape.

@not_a_label @alice @mycrowgirl

@h3mmy don't forget flutes and satyrs!

Or many enbies favorite pan, pandemonium 😁

@not_a_label

@alice @not_a_label I do thrive in pandemonium, especially with satyrs playing flutes 
@alice @not_a_label oh, thought you liked paning sounds..

@creatures common misconception, pansexuals are actually into panoramic photography.

@not_a_label

@alice @creatures I mean I am, and I kind of am.... but not sure a sample size of one is statistically significant!
@alice @not_a_label Cast-iron pansexuals represent!
@alice "Could you show me your lock picks? πŸ‘‰πŸ‘ˆ" πŸ˜‰
@alice kudos for pants with pockets. every human deserves pockets on their pants. how else are we to move about with our lockpicks!?!

@alice I used to be married to someone who would ask those questions about our kids’ friends.

She didn’t understand that it was none of her business and highly inappropriate for a ~50yo to be asking that of ~15yos.

I love that scene in Nimona: β€œBut I’m not a girl. I’m a shark. Chomp, chomp, chomp.”

@holsta @alice β€œever since I was very young, I always dreamed of being asked small-minded questions on a subway car”

@holsta @alice

Nimona. So good.

@pseudonym @holsta @alice it’s one of my kid’s comfort movies and i love that so much
@jepyang @pseudonym @holsta one of my favorite movies πŸ’–

@alice @pseudonym @holsta same ✨

it can be a little emotionally exhausting when the kiddo wants to watch it multiple
times in a short period but it’s worth it

@holsta @alice I ended up being the parent who gave rides to all the queer high school kids because I could remember their new names and pronouns and didn’t care what their story was. I just wanted them to get where they were going safely.