CoopDot 🏳️‍⚧️

Please continue to post about the joy of finally feeling at home in your own body. Some people might think it's too late for them to transition, it never is. Just getting the hormone change is worth it.

There are places in the world where you can get killed for not passing as cis. It's not like that where I live and that makes my location a privilege. Over here, passing is a privilege.

I've seen posts here that look like this:
"Hormones are magic. If I can pass as well as I do now, then everyone can!"
I'm the counter example. I came out as trans in 2008, went through a lot of hoops and finally got my required transsexualism diagnosis 14 years later and got officially approved by the gatekeeping authority of my country to get my gender marker changed earlier this year.
After 3 years of HRT, I still get constantly misgendered. When I buy clothing, they ask if I want that gift wrapped. Late yesterday evening, a drunk person asked me why I was wearing a dress. They wouldn't have asked that if I pass as a cis woman, probably not even if I just pass as a trans woman. They see a man in a dress. The best I can hope for is the "boy or girl?" question I can get from kids.

(My profile picture is my good angle that only appears in photographs. It was taken before HRT and I didn't wear makeup)

Jun 22 at 2:54pmWeb
Show threadJasmine runningJun 22

@coopdot here is such a shitty place with the way transmisogyny is embedded as "common sense" beliefs not just within mainstream feminism but often even within our own communities. it takes an incredible amount of work, and there are so many situations i have to avoid completely, for me to blend well enough for my own mental health. it's extremely limiting and i honestly just hate it so much at this point

i've been on HRT for about three years too and i'm able to blend quite well… but blending isn't passing and i have no real idea what people actually see when they interact with me. and i spend at least 30 hours per week just on makeup, styling and managing facial hair, and if i stop doing that it all comes apart. i simply live a large part of my life in the bathroom now

that said, i'm not sure if i'm misreading your first paragraph, but if it's meant literally then i really agree. it's always worth it!! i think i would be able to detransition socially and get gendered as a man 100% of the time. easily! i don't want to (it would be so painful), but if i had to, then i would still not quit HRT. never!! being socially miserable is one thing, but i don't need to be physically and neurochemically miserable on top of that

Show threadCoopDot 🏳️‍⚧️Jun 22

Let's pick it apart:

"Please continue to post about the joy of finally feeling at home in your own body."

Our visibility is important for closeted people. Back when I was unemployed, I went to one specific nightclub once a month where almost everyone appeared cis-het. I only paid the 100kr entrance fee and danced sober. Years later, people collected the courage to approach me at that club to thank me. Seeing me there made them feel safe enough to show up as themselves. (They did so independently of each other on different occasions. Maybe 5 of them, I didn't count)

"Some people might think it's too late for them to transition, it never is."

This is acknowledgement that I somewhat agree with the toot I'm subtooting. They meant to argue against the idea that transitioning is only for young people who can prevent the development of the dysphoria points that hypothetical person have themself. Instead the toot went all the way in the other direction, giving false hope about "hormones being magic"

The author of that toot is not following me. We are all constantly on the lookout for attacks against us, which makes this topic hard to discuss. "Is she subtooting me?" No, I'm not. You're safe

"Just getting the hormone change is worth it."

Yes, this is meant literally. Getting the right hormones was such a relief

@jasmine I meant to say this earlier but I didn't find a way to not seem like I was flirting. You look great in your selfies. I can see that time and effort you mentioned. Your ace posts are also very relatable