Show threadChristine Lemmer-WebberJun 3
ActivityPub is the "transgender yapping protocol"
Show threadChristine Lemmer-WebberJun 3
ActivityPub is just centralized Bluesky
Show threadChristine Lemmer-WebberJun 3
ActivityPub is when you have a hard drive, and you want to fill it up, but not fill it up as much as a full atproto relay, so you fill it up just most of the way
Show threadChristine Lemmer-WebberJun 3
ActivityPub is you. It was you all along. It was all of us
Show threadChristine Lemmer-WebberJun 3
ActivityPub is when you send HTTP requests to actors' inboxes, but then you get confused letters back from the actors because they don't want to read computer things they just want to star in shakespeares
Show threadChristine Lemmer-WebberJun 3
ActivityPub, it's like Spritely
Show threadChristine Lemmer-WebberJun 3
ActivityPub, it's a protocol best understood when explained to you. Which is why I am doing this, and why you must do it to me. We have to know to keep this place running
Show threadChristine Lemmer-WebberJun 3
ActivityPub was born fully formed from the head of @evan when he had a huge headache and he threw it into the sea and it walked out and there it was, ActivityPub
Show threadChristine Lemmer-WebberJun 3
ActivityPub was when @tsyesika decided we needed the MediaGoblin Network. Later on Mastodon decided to also become a member of the MediaGoblin Network. And that's how we got ActivityPub
Show threadChristine Lemmer-WebberJun 3

ActivityPub was when @erincandescent transcribed ancient scrolls onto loose leaf paper, scanned the paper into a scanner, ran it through OCR, and then said "the W3C should learn about this"

And that's how we got ActivityPub

Show threadChristine Lemmer-WebberJun 3
ActivityPub was formed when @rhiaro emerged from the forest and held scribblings written upon a giant leaf and said "these are pretty good scribblings, but it would be even better if..." and then TORE the leaf in two, and then that's how we got the Client-to-Server and Server-to-Server protocols as two separate things
Show threadChristine Lemmer-WebberJun 3
ActivityPub is a dating network for people who like open source, and also the gays who make animal noises
Show threadChristine Lemmer-WebberJun 3
ActivityPub is a selfie machine for eggs
Show threadChristine Lemmer-WebberJun 3
ActivityPub is a selfie machine for no-longer-eggs who have realized on shit, they like selfies now, what happened
Show threadChristine Lemmer-WebberJun 3

ActivityPub, also known as "ActivityStreams", is just like a spoken language. Subject Predicate Object. It's pretty simple! Except we have Actor Activity Object, which are the same thing. And they're modeled in RDF, which is Subject Predicate Object.

So it's like language squared

Show threadChristine Lemmer-WebberJun 3
ActivityPub is whatever you tell me it is
Show threadChristine Lemmer-WebberJun 3

ActivityPub is where the AI enthusiasts are

Everyone here loves AI, highest ratio of AI enthusiasts you'll ever meet

All the content is AI and people will thank you for posting it

Show threadChristine Lemmer-WebberJun 3
ActivityPub is where Gargamel finally eats the Smurfs. That'll teach them. That'll show them
Show threadChristine Lemmer-WebberJun 3
Don't tell anyone but ActivityPub is alive I think? A being made of pure information
Show threadChristine Lemmer-WebberJun 3
The fediverse: a never ending source of jokes about star trek. Join the fediverse. The federation. The fediverseration. Lol! It was made for this joke
Show threadChristine Lemmer-WebberJun 3

ActivityPub was when we said FUCK there are TOO MANY PROTOCOLS, let's make one more protocol, and that'll be the last one

And then we did, and it was

Show threadChristine Lemmer-WebberJun 3

ActivityPub is the protocol they make you go on in order to be eligible for HRT or SRS

You post on ActivityPub enough and they say, "okay, I guess you really do have gender dysphoria. you can do whatever you want"

Show threadChristine Lemmer-WebberJun 3
ActivityPub: it's just like YOUR MOM
Show threadChristine Lemmer-WebberJun 3
ActivityPub: now best understood through my new pseudonotation: {Activity from:actor to:addressees object:{Object}}
Show threadChristine Lemmer-WebberJun 3
ActivityPub is where you air your kinks out in the open. It's fine just put it out there. Be free
Show threadChristine Lemmer-WebberJun 3
ActivityPub is a protocol for "tankies" to get mad at "anti-tankies", and vice versa. But they both get mad at the "fash"
Show threadChristine Lemmer-WebberJun 3
ActivityPub is a protocol for fueling @cwebber's Cassanda Complex
Show threadChristine Lemmer-WebberJun 3

Here's one to explain things to the KIDS:

ActivityPub is Usenet Done Right

Show threadChristine Lemmer-WebberJun 3
ActivityPub is the Tumblr Protocol. It's been adopted by Tumblr, and it basically is Tumblr. Always was
Show threadChristine Lemmer-WebberJun 3
ActivityPub is a site for Facebooks to talk to each other
Show threadChristine Lemmer-WebberJun 3
ActivityPub has inReplyTo, and it's used to make threads. Which is why we wrote it, we hoped Facebook would adopt it, and then they made Threads, and we were like ha ha we did it, we got 'em
Show threadChristine Lemmer-WebberJun 3
ActivityPub is the protocol that powers the Defediverse, a protocol for defederating from other instances
Show threadChristine Lemmer-WebberJun 3
ActivityPub is the network for posting questionable things, but you put them under a "content warning" (an ActivityPub invention, check the spec), and you can do anything you want in there. Anything at all
Show threadChristine Lemmer-WebberJun 3
ActivityPub is based on JSON-LD so that it can be extensible. And that means you can do anything you want. Anything at all. The only limit is yourself #xombocom
Show threadChristine Lemmer-WebberJun 3
ActivityPub is the protocol for Christine to fail to host the test suite and everyone to be mad at her for a decade, and kind of put up sort of replacements, but still get mad at her
Show threadChristine Lemmer-WebberJun 3

ActivityPub is a protocol where the Official Test Suite is a rewrite of MUD (Multi User Dungeon) technology for testing for federation

(this one is TRUE, cursed knowledge if you investigate)

Show threadChristine Lemmer-WebberJun 3

ActivityPub: it's a protocol for "keepin' it normal in here"

Have a normal time!

Show threadChristine Lemmer-WebberJun 3
ActivityPub is the most secure protocol you'll ever use. This is true because it has a Security Considerations section. This means we considered all the security
Show threadChristine Lemmer-WebberJun 3
ActivityPub is written by trans people, for trans people. And also that one guy, he was also involved
Show threadChristine Lemmer-WebberJun 3
The fediverse is a network Christine wrote all by herself so she could be too distracted to do any other work later in the future when she needed to get it done
Show threadChristine Lemmer-Webber

ActivityPub is an anti-fascist protocol. There are no fascists on here. Not even one.

PROOF: They aren't allowed, we put it in the spec, so if someone is being fascist on here, technically they're not implementing ActivityPub they're doing something else. NOT OUR PROBLEM

Jun 3 at 9:17pmWeb
Show threadChristine Lemmer-WebberJun 3
ActivityPub uses JSON-LD, which is basically just "lexical scope, but for JSON", so now you understand it
Show threadChristine Lemmer-WebberJun 3
ActivityPub is when you go on a date with a girl and at the end of it she's like oh shit no way you're THAT CHRISTINE why didn't you tell me this earlier let me get you my fedi handle
Show threadChristine Lemmer-WebberJun 3
ActivityPub is a protocol for me personally to say "Ha yeah, I'm the QUEEN OF THE FEDIVERSE" and look cool and then the moment someone starts to bristle I can say "don't worry no I'm anti-royalty no I didn't choose this name for myself it was the fediverse hold on"
Show threadChristine Lemmer-WebberJun 3

ActivityPub is a series of tubes

But not those kinds of tubes. It's actually just a big node graph in Blender. A geometry nodes thing

Show threadChristine Lemmer-WebberJun 3
ActivityPub is a protocol for people to run servers for their friends and community and then wonder why they are so tired all the time
Show threadChristine Lemmer-WebberJun 3
ActivityPub? Don't you mean OcapPub?!
Show threadChristine Lemmer-WebberJun 3
ActivityPub is the network with the highest percentage of Firefox users, and also the highest percentage of people mad at Mozilla all the time
Show threadChristine Lemmer-WebberJun 3
ActivityPub? It's like decentralized Twitter. But before that guy bought it. And nothing like that at all. So forget I said anything
Show threadChristine Lemmer-WebberJun 3
ActivityPub is a protocol for when you're supposed to be writing your keynote for Fediforum about the future of ActivityPub and instead you post messages over ActivityPub joking about ActivityPub to procrastinate (me RN)
Show threadChristine Lemmer-WebberJun 3
"The fediverse", aka the Mastodon Protocol, aka the network everyone pointed to when social media corporations did bad things until Bluesky came along and decentralized everything
Show threadChristine Lemmer-WebberJun 3
AP: the Autism Protocol, for autism-havers by autism-havers
Show threadChristine Lemmer-WebberJun 3
ActivityPub: a great protocol to implement halfway and then work on something else and say "oh yeah, I should get back to my ActivityPub protocol written in <foo>"
Show threadChristine Lemmer-WebberJun 3
ActivityPub: a good "hello world" for your favorite esolang. Try writing an "ActivityPub" in brainfuck for a fun weeknight challenge!
Show threadAkseli ​ Jun 3
@cwebber its called ActivityPub because you need a pint after interacting with it
Show threadChristine Lemmer-WebberJun 3

ActivityPub, the engagement network.

REMEMBER TO LIKE AND SUBSCRIBE

Show threadChristine Lemmer-WebberJun 3
okay I've been doing this for over an hour thanks everyone for coming by, hope you had a good activitypub, hope you learned a thing or two, good night!!!!
Show threadMark Shane HaydenJun 3
@cwebber says it's Last Call at the ActivityPub so you can't order any more toots until tomorrow
Show threadHuubjeJun 3
@cwebber god damn it, just bangers after bangers. I'M SUPPOSED TO BE SLEEPING
Show thread⟨  | TakeV |  ⟩Jun 4
@cwebber I see you were on one today, lmao.
Show threadity [unit X-69]Jun 4
@cwebber ActivityPub, where you have to cc your followers even if you are sending your toot to someone who doesn't follow you, because otherwise Mastodon will drop your toot
Show threadBamJun 5
@cwebber Oh, like you know something about ActivityPub. 😏
Show threadBamJun 5
@cwebber I mean, if you did, why would you be asking people all the time to explain it? 🤔
Show threadTuckers Nuts Resist! 🇺🇦 Jun 5
@cwebber
This thread is so long Eye'm not even sure that Eye've read it in its entirety.
Can someone tell me if Eye've missed a vital reference to John ActivityPub?
Show threadChristine Lemmer-WebberJun 5
It's been a couple of days but I have enjoyed how much other people seem to have enjoyed this thread <3
Show threadfraggleJun 5
@cwebber ActivityPub: It's what's for breakfast
Show threadFritz AdalisJun 4
@cwebber
This was a fkn epic thread.
Show threadtiddy rooseveltJun 4
@cwebber ActivityPub is a German FSF convention, bicycle enthusiasts meet, BDSM convention, and furry convention all being held in the same building
Show threadKaren E. Lund 💙💛Jun 4
@babe @cwebber You forgot to mention the nature photographers.
Show threadDentaku (Thomas Renger)Jun 4
@Karen5Lund @babe @cwebber For some reason they all fall into one of the other categories already.
Show threadStéphaneJun 5
@cwebber
Show threadChancerubbageJun 4

@cwebber @mastodonmigration

Ahem, old Usenet user here, a lot was truly decentralized in the olden days.

Show threadinfinite love ⴳJun 4
@cwebber it's cool because we do the bad things but now they're good this time i promise wait where are you going
Show threadRocketmanJun 4

@cwebber Your talk could just be one post from this thread per slide.

With a bit of explanation, if you feel it’s warranted

Show threadChristine Lemmer-WebberJun 4
@slothrop very tempting
Show threadFlakiJun 4
@cwebber putting the "Pro" back into procrastination 💪
Show threadDormouseJun 4
@cwebber Also the highest percentage with spoofed headers.
Show threadTuckers Nuts Resist! 🇺🇦 Jun 3
@cwebber
Coincidence, Christine?
Eye, for one, think not.
Show threadDaniel GibsonJun 3

@jstatepost @cwebber
Of course not - why would you be mad at Mozilla if you didn't use their products?

(Unless you're in the secret third category of people who have worked there and have their own reasons to be mad at Mozilla, but they probably also use Firefox)

Show threadLes OrchardJun 3
@cwebber Some of us are both of those and also work for Mozilla 
Show threadBen Hearsum, with elbows upJun 3
@lmorchard beat me to it by 30 seconds 😢
Show threadBeko PharmJun 4

@bhearsum @lmorchard can only get mad about things that are important to you so I'm not really surprised 🙃

(FF user too :D)

Show threadAlexander BochmannJun 3
@cwebber Making people mad is like Mozilla's flagship product by now.
Show threadDoug Whitfield [Minneapolis]Jun 4
@galaxis @cwebber Madness as a Service
Show threadIrenes (many)Jun 3
@cwebber our friends who have worked at Mozilla also seem kind of angry at Mozilla, to be entirely honest
Show threadDaniel GibsonJun 3

@ireneista @cwebber
awesome, so they can
☑ Use Firefox
☑ Have worked at Mozilla
☑ Be angry at Mozilla

The holy trifecta :-D

Show threadFrancis 🏴‍☠️ GulottaJun 3
@cwebber this is also true!!!
Show threadMireya StrifeJun 3
@cwebber I mean, why would people who doesn't use Firefox or it's derivatives give a shit about Mozilla.
Show threadDr. Ogg Jun 3
@cwebber thats why i use safari
Show threadmirabilosJun 3
@cwebber can’t be mad at things that don’t affect oneself much
Show thread`Da ElfJun 4
@cwebber This seems totally reasonable to me.
Show threadBruce HeerssenJun 4
@cwebber
This is the truest one.
Show threadBruce HeerssenJun 4

@cwebber

Also, Mozilla, if you are listening, when are you going to start marketing Firefox again like you used to do? That was working. 

Show threadYellow FlagJun 4
@cwebber You cannot be mad about something you don’t care about. 🤷‍♂️
Show threadOrca 🌻 | 🎀 | 🪁 | 🏴🏳️‍⚧️Jun 4
@cwebber Brutal ​​
Show thread⬡-49016  🔜 DHM, GPNJun 4
@cwebber like genuinely fuck mozilla for literally EVERYTHING they do it is the worst browser vendor out there but using chrome is for emergencies at best
Show threadClub de TéléMatique Jun 4

@cwebber

Make sense to me. Non users have no reason to be mad 😉

Show threadhurt138Jun 4
@cwebber it's hard to watch the ones you love hurting themselves.
Show threadResenhaGFP (Guilherme)Jun 4
@cwebber não uso mais o firefox. Migrei para o Waterfront que é um bifurcado do Mozilla. É muito estável. Os bloqueadores de anúncio do Mozilla são muito bons e minha internet, incluindo YT, está limpa de publicidade indesejada.
Show threadKaren E. Lund 💙💛Jun 4

@cwebber Firefox looks harmless or even good from the outside. You have to really use a Mozilla product for a while to hate it.

Signed,

Loyal Pocket User

Show threadFurbland's Very Cool Mastodon™Jun 4
@cwebber there is a significant overlap, I’d imagine