Oiva EskolaEvery time I lock my bike to a wall loop I fear a topologist will appear and prove my bike is not attached to the loop, or in fact, not even locked
W6KME@oivaeskola Oh, it's locked all right, but just locked to a coffee cup.
Martin Vermeer (not Jesus)@oivaeskola Not even theoretical. A fair while ago I saw a pair of pictures from Amsterdam, of a bike first locked by a wire lock to one of those canal-side poles, and then the same bike to a similar canal-side pole right on the other side of the canal! Some practical joker did the topology exercise...
buherator@martinvermeer oh shoot! I think I witnessed a similar prank which involved a bike locked to a street light (and many beers)
arjjra
Trammell Hudson
Frank
famousringo@oivaeskola “This angle grinder? Oh! No, I’m not a thief. I’m a corrective topologist.”
Maki 🔻@oivaeskola What's worse is that your bike is not even a bike.
🐙ptoothfish🐙@oivaeskola just tie a knot in the bike and pull it out through the lock
vxo
OwenT@oivaeskola rogue topologists famously happened to the UK's former prime minister :
https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2008/jul/24/davidcameron.ukcrime
Ben Zanin@oivaeskola fearing topologists is correct and proper.
Kim@oivaeskola IANA topologist, but I did actually do this to someone who'd got in a muddle with armfuls of bags and locks and managed to fail to lock her bike to the stand. I figured that being patronised by a random stranger was better than having your bike stolen.
clewOh an _applied_ topologist. @oivaeskola
Barry Goldman@oivaeskola yeah... once or twice i have NOT in fact locked my bike!
Sparrows@oivaeskola Me too. I have a weird frame, and I keep having a moment of doubt before I confirm it's a valid lock.
@sparrows that plays a part for me as well. With my old bike I could throw the lock through the frame, through the wheel, and around a post. With my new bike I have a separate cable that goes through the wheel, and the bike lock tries to lock both the cable and the frame. Somehow this is enough to cause uncertainty 😅
Mrs RavenWorse yet, not even a bike! :D
Jay@oivaeskola That’s why I always bring my welding equipment. Keeps the unholy union of bike and bollard safe and the torch scares away topologists.
ajft [SEC=continvoucly morged]@oivaeskola it doesn't take much of a topologist to prove the worth of many of the City of Monash "secure bicycle facilities" - see https://flic.kr/p/2k6iMr2
2020-11-07T08.14.25_samsung
@ajft that’s not very good 
@oivaeskola it is surprisingly common, or at best they whack a wedge-peg in along the side, but you can lever them out with a big screwdriver
AvonLovesBlakeI saw your post, googled, and now I know what a topologist is - a new word for me!
PsyMar aka Sam@Lilysea a whole new field of maths awaits, if you've the interest -- and while it's high on jargon, logic and complications it's not so much on actual numbers if you're arithmetic-challenged (many mathematicians are also bad with numbers!)
veetee@oivaeskola five minutes later:
@vt52 it’s tricks like these why I don’t like magicians 😠
Tim Ward ⭐🇪🇺🔶 #FBPE@oivaeskola I did that once (locked a bike to a loop (on a lamp post in this case) in a topologically unhelpful manner). A kid called out to me to tell me I'd got it wrong.
Evan Prodromou@oivaeskola every child has done the party trick where the loops go over your hands and then you're free. So how could this bike lock cable possible work?!?
@evan this is the exact product that sparked the toot!
@oivaeskola hahahahaha
dragonfrog@evan @oivaeskola the U lock is to keep the bike frame attached to the landscape, the cable is to keep the wheels attached to the frame.
Negative12DollarBill@oivaeskola Or in fact not even a bicycle!