Cherished time together after family court

After the court day, I’ve been in shock and struggling to make sense of what the rest of the year is going to be like. I can’t get excited about having you overnight and more of the same is what has been imposed on me.

Temporarily forgetting about problems

It’s hard to think about our time together without the disappointment, but your smell and beautiful face partly lets me forget about the problems while we’re together.

Today I picked you up from the station as usual, I had suncream to ensure I would protect your beautiful skin. I was keen to get back to our neighbourhood so we could make the most of the safe streets and play areas.

Your leggings were a little wet because you did a big wee which leaked slightly, so I took them off and it was the loveliest sight to see your legs out, I rarely see your skin apart from when I’m changing your nappy. I miss giving you a bath.

Sun’s out, legs out!

Funny little things you do

We chilled at home and played. Olivia bought you crayons which she also wrapped up. You’re such a lucky girl, getting presents all the time.

At home, I’m extremely happy to say that you know the rooms and the spaces and go about on your own. This is exactly what’s right. It’s your home, your space to enjoy and feel comfortable in.

For whatever reason you wanted to rearrange the pots kept on some shelves in the balcony. I love seeing you do your own thing.

Big girl lunch

You’re eating well and I think you’re more interested in proper food nowadays, so Olivia made us a tofu stir fry. A meal we have together regularly and I was pleased to share with you.

You didn’t like being in the high chair like usual, so you climbed out and sat with me, then went over to Olivia. Adorably, you fed her and your appetite seemed to grow with each bite. We’re lucky to have Olivia in our lives, she cares about you a lot and helped me cope during this horrendous year.

Home time, it’s hard.

Your mum asked me to drop you off at City Square station a few minutes earlier so she could get the train back. So at 3:25 it was already time to head back.

Even after a 40 minute nap you were tired from the day. It’s not right that you can’t stay overnight and be peaceful at home. I’ll keep trying to make it work, but I’m also desperate for the day when we can do more than just stay near home. I hate rushing back mid-afternoon, feeling hollow for the rest of the day without you.

Next time

7 more days till I see you again, all going well. I’m planning a picnic for us and to practice some rolypolies.

https://open.spotify.com/track/6gLziluLoYfPsu1Y2KKGNo?si=b695f0c6a318426f

Listen through the podcast

https://open.spotify.com/episode/7m3NBBXwnMF3NeF1vbhVrL?si=8OFnMcY9SKSKu_n3K1otFQ

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