This is not a joke. Itโ€™s a look at the future.

#Capitalism #Enshittification

H/T - @_9CL7T9k8cjnD_ (with #AltText added by me)
@breadandcircuses Thank you. I think you introduced me to AltBot. I got terribly frustrated with it. I even reached out to the developers to have AltBot write the AltTxt, give the poster editorial overview prior to final commit, and then write it to the AltTxt screen. AltBot harps at me to create AltTxt, so I stopped using it.
@breadandcircuses Present day: LED lights. Donwload the app to control the colors.
@GreenRoc depends. Yeah, I say that, because I have built LEDs and some kind of a app for it my own ๐Ÿ˜ƒ
This is IoT, but I don't see any reason to bring home devices into WWW, especially upgrading their firmware.
That's the actual enshittification: vendors who stay in contact with your home devices and (force) upload things there.
@breadandcircuses

@CriticalSilence yeah, disconnected gaming consoles are probably some of my favorite games.

Gets me angry when a game is updated and I cant play the older versions which I liked more than current ones.

@GreenRoc Gaming is a whole new level ๐Ÿ˜ƒ Even if I only play alone, Steam Deck must be connected to play RDR2
@breadandcircuses Subscription account. First day free, then only $1 per flushโ€ฆ

@jCarttarBrooke @breadandcircuses

Like the early cell phones, $49.99/mo gets you 30 flushes and each additional flush is on 3.99 more

@jCarttarBrooke @breadandcircuses it's not a problem, poorer people can flush once a week
@pjakobs @jCarttarBrooke @breadandcircuses You can omit flushing after peeing, but multiple shits without flushing will get you a clogged toilet.

@1000millimeter

don't you worry, the FlushMe App will be updated, and a state of the art cloud AI will make sure that the toilet is flushed in just the right moment.

Flush-AI in the Sewer-Cloud. Your smart loo!

@jCarttarBrooke @breadandcircuses

@jCarttarBrooke @breadandcircuses But you can invite friends and share flush experiences. Or do little tasks and gain xp
@breadandcircuses And yet the future is already here. Can we just admit that auto flushing toilets, sinks, etc.are the definition of abject failure? I'm not a fuckin' vampire!!!! Do something!
@breadandcircuses right out of Philip K Dick's Ubik.
@breadandcircuses i hate this so much because it is so accurate.
@breadandcircuses I bet the subscription is very reasonable!
@breadandcircuses Looking at the future, you guessed it, get our app.
@breadandcircuses I thought there would be three shells where the toilet paper used to be. ๐Ÿ˜‰
@breadandcircuses "We've had a great time with flushing via the flushme app, but now we are going to pivot to prunejuiceme, your flushme app will stop working tomorrow."
@jfrench @breadandcircuses Unfortunately, legacy toilets are unsupported. Please talk to your reseller about your hardware upgrade options...
@breadandcircuses
Or shit in a bucket of sawdust, compost as humanure.
@breadandcircuses They can't advertise on a handle!
@breadandcircuses Ah but there is ALWAYS a flush pedal ( not kidding check the pic)... when there is a will there is a way !
@breadandcircuses Throw a bucket of water into it and refuse to install the app ๐Ÿ˜Ž
@breadandcircuses Wasn't it AI which will be controling our toilets?
Obviously including shooting toilet paper against our butts to wipe us clean...
@breadandcircuses flushMe has a 1.7/5 star rating on google play
@breadandcircuses i didnt pay my flushme subscription and now my house is overflowing with feces
@breadandcircuses "Imperial Plumbing"
@sharif Ooh, good catch. I hadn't noticed that!
@breadandcircuses it will also analyse your poo and send the appropriate reports to the appropriate enforcement agencies and assign credits or demerits to your social credit account.

@breadandcircuses

Looking forward to the next AWS outage and all the toilets back up and bidets start shooting water into the bathroom...

@JamesMDonohoe @breadandcircuses only for those who forget that buckets exist.

@ph00lt0
Wait, wait, I get it!

AWS has buckets!
And you can use buckets for poo.

AWS buckets are poo buckets!

Confess I could not find those in the docs...
https://docs.aws.amazon.com/AmazonS3/latest/userguide/UsingBucket.html

@breadandcircuses

General purpose buckets overview - Amazon Simple Storage Service

Store all of your files, known as objects, within a uniquely named Amazon S3 general purpose bucket.

@JamesMDonohoe @breadandcircuses I am sure General purpose buckets will do
@breadandcircuses They will individually adjust prices at the grocery store in relation to flush times.

@breadandcircuses

The true meaning of enshittification.

@breadandcircuses "imperial plumbing" on his back is double fitting (can be a reference both to the USA and to an evil empire)
@breadandcircuses
I have no mouth
And I must scream
@DeltaWye Just download our ad-supported app IScream. It's really cool!

@breadandcircuses

It's free... for now. But once we have enough users, we will charge $5 a month and you can bet that will be going up every year.

@breadandcircuses "please subscribe now for more premium features like our new flush.AI! Comes with 20 AI-flushes per month inclusive."
@breadandcircuses I thought AI could flush when it needs to?
@breadandcircuses never mind the future, it's the now. 'smart' toilets already exist. I'm sure I read a thread where an entire product line stopped flushing due to a server failure.
@breadandcircuses ceci nes Pas une pipe!? Ceci nes Pas une toilet!!!!
@breadandcircuses
I see posibilities. Husband on the toilet....I flush ๐Ÿค“
@breadandcircuses literally #enSHITtification but now you can flush
@feike @breadandcircuses you've used up your free flushes for this week, watch another ad or join flush premium ?
@georgebaily @feike @breadandcircuses Well, when you can watch the ad im advance... You have a few minutes for that at least.
@1000millimeter @feike @breadandcircuses I have to wait 15 seconds before the "skip" appears and I can lift the lid
@breadandcircuses we literally need an app to install air conditioners now