Rebecca Esther (they/she)I literally JUST posted (only somewhat facetiously) about how few men I trust or look up to in any way at all, and then find out one of them has gone and done something horrific. Are all men trash or do I just have bad taste? #BothProbably
It's obviously a coping mechanism I've developed that almost all the men I'm remotely interested in are fictional, from a different era, or both: There's almost no way they can disappoint me or hurt me if they're not real or if they're long dead. And if they annoy me I can turn off the TV or close the book. (I wish you could do that IRL!)
I also realize this is VERY queer and neurodiverse coded of me.
And yes, this tendency to only care for men who can't touch me has gotten stronger as my trauma has deepened.
#PTSDImpact #PTSD #neurodivergent #neurodiversity #amreading
I'm definitely drawn to fictional and historic women and nonbinary people too, but the difference is I have just as much, if not more, desire to spend time with living, breathing women and nonbinary people. I'm afraid they'll disappoint me, and I'm afraid I'll disappoint them, but knowing them is worth the risk.
I guess that's the difference: for me, men feel like danger and sometimes lead to danger.
Nonbinary people and women feel like a risk worth taking, a risk that sometimes leads to feeling at home.