Max Leibman

If you access corporate email on a personal device that can be unlocked with FaceID, you must change your face at least once every sixty days.

You may not reuse any of your most recent 12 faces.

Please contact the technical support desk if you have forgotten your face and need help resetting it.

May 5 at 6:08pmWeb
Show threadMax LeibmanMay 5
Resting biometrics face.
Show threadMartin RundkvistMay 5
@maxleibman Your face must include at least one capital letter, one lower-case letter, one number and a nose.
Show threadBjörn 🇪🇺 StarkimarmMay 6

@mrundkvist

Voldemort: 😡

@maxleibman

Show threadaidanMay 5
@maxleibman
Show threadGuill.Jones, Honorary CanadianMay 5
@maxleibman
Yet another dimension to the problem of "losing face," Max!
Show threadWilliam Wolf Moondel, Esq.May 5
@maxleibman Also make sure your face has at least one of the following: bloodshot eyes, heterochromia, heavy freckles, nose ring, forked tongue.
Show threadDoctor Coyote - HeirophantMay 5
@maxleibman good thing I got 100 of them :D
Show threadDio9sysMay 5
@maxleibman
cry your pardon, gunslinger. I have forgotten the face of my iphone
Show threadSandra BondMay 5
@maxleibman there will be time, there will be time
To prepare a face —
Show threadMaj - 🇨🇦May 6
@klepsydra @maxleibman Lovely reference!
Show threadwoe2youMay 5
@maxleibman
Show threadKit BashirMay 5
@maxleibman @cstross https://aus.social/@Unixbigot/114457133766652876
Kit Bashir (@Unixbigot@aus.social)

“Again? What are you doing out there? Well yeah I guess evil never rests but please try to be more careful, ok? You’re reset now, please try logging in one more time. Great, is there anything else I can help you with today? Okay bye.” *click* “FUCK sake, maybe don’t turn on Face ID if you’re gonna regenerate every few years like bodies grow on trees. Hello, Timelord Tech Support this is Janice…” #Tootfic #MicroFiction #PowerOnStoryToot

Aus.Social
Show threadcaracabeMay 5
@maxleibman FaceID? No, thank you! It’s bad enough I have to change the dog’s name every sixty days.
Show threadGabbo the wafrn guyMay 5
thats what the movie faceoff is about
Show threadBat Master FreshMay 5
@maxleibman ah, look at all the logged out people
Show threadUndercatMay 5
@maxleibman I am suddenly reminded of "Seen and Not Seen" by the Talking Heads.
Show thread🚲May 5
@maxleibman The real reason your mom didn’t want your face to “get stuck like that”: for user authentication and security purposes.
Show threadEvan LightMay 5
@maxleibman When can we have the "forgotten your brain and need to reset it" option? I want that one.
Show threadKees N ✅May 6
@elight @maxleibman
#Reset Your #Brain (Soulvation)
Recorded in Hotel Bazar, Rotterdam, NL
https://youtu.be/kHAR3ZCHHfY
Reset Your Brain

YouTube
Show threadD'Arcy Norman 🇨🇦May 5
@maxleibman also, IT has enabled MFA so you'll be required to register a second face that you will be expected to have with you at all times, to verify your original face. Due to financial constraints, IT will not provide a second face, and you will be expected to acquire one on your own. If second face requires a monthly service fee, you will be required to pay that as well. This is for your own security (or our compliance with insurance company requirements, but we'll call it security)
Show threadD'Arcy Norman 🇨🇦May 5
@maxleibman *MFA: Multi-Face Authentication, of course.
Show threadprozacchiwawaMay 5
@maxleibman your face must contain one special characteristic such as a horn, a cloud of locusts or a pointed ear. your face may not contain any repeated characteristics such as two eyes.
Show threadBurr DemingMay 10
@prozacchiwawa @maxleibman
I would need a note from my wife...
Show threadRed HoodMay 5
@maxleibman
lmao 😂
Show threadScottMGSMay 5
@maxleibman 🙂 😲 🙄 😬 😔 😅 😉
Show threadokanogen VerminEnemyFromWithinMay 5
@maxleibman
FaceID? In this economy?
Show threadNowhere!Fast!May 6
@maxleibman Victory is mine!!!
Show threadMax LeibmanMay 6
@nowherefast ❤️

Man-E-Faces was my first Masters of the Universe action figure!
Show threadIngo SchildmannMay 6
@nowherefast @maxleibman
I had as kid Big Jim Agent 004 with a suitcase of changeable faces
Show threadDressToKILTMay 6
@maxleibman Arya kidding me
Show threadBob PetersonMay 6
@maxleibman
My sides are many, my angles aren't few. I'm the Dodecahedron, and who are you?
Show threadAndrew ZonenbergMay 6
@maxleibman ok let me update my faceid again...
Show threadMark CrockerMay 6
@maxleibman that's why it's something you know, something you have, and something you are... and if we ignore the humorous aspect of the parent post, only the first two might be expected to change. Besides in today's political climate, it may already be effectively illegal to change the last 😒
Show threadRpsu (326 ppm)May 6
@maxleibman My kids are going to be SO jealous of me when I get to wear all those 12+ masks for work.
Show threadAndrew Benedict-NelsonMay 6
@maxleibman “ Ramone unfolds twelve pictures, which are of the First, Second, Third, Fourth, Fifth, Sixth, Seventh, Eighth, War, Ninth, Tenth and Eleventh Doctors; he adamantly states that none of these men are in town.” https://tardis.fandom.com/wiki/The_Husbands_of_River_Song_(TV_story)
The Husbands of River Song (TV story)

The Husbands of River Song was the 2015 Christmas Special of Doctor Who. It was the show's eleventh Christmas special since its revival and the second Christmas special starring Peter Capaldi as the Doctor. It was noteworthy for closing the book on River Song's timeline that began with her debut in 2008 with Silence in the Library. It also showed the Twelfth Doctor's first encounter with River. For River, this was the final adventure with the Doctor before she met her demise in Forest of the Dea

Tardis
Show threadTrebethericMay 6
@maxleibman I don't know why we have to keep saying this but *sigh*. Use a face manager people! smh
Show threadGunChleocMay 6
@maxleibman Joining the tech support team just so that I can make faces at people
Show threadGunChleocMay 6
@maxleibman The whole FaceID implementation is nothing but a backdoor for the Many-faced God
Show threadDanieleMay 6
@gunchleoc @maxleibman valar morghulis
Show threadAlex  🔧🔮🌎🪿May 6
@maxleibman Jan-Feb 😃
Mar-Apr 🤓
May-Jun 🥸
Jul-Aug 🤡
Sep-Oct 🎃
Nov-Dec 🎅🏻
Show threadxinit ☕May 6
@maxleibman I stopped before the joke, but I remain committed to "If you access corporate email on a personal device STOP."
Show threadMartin VogelMay 6
@maxleibman
Your new face must contain at least one upper and lower lip, one eye and a wart.
Show threadthedoctorMay 6
@maxleibman That's a bit too frequently, IMHO. I'll burn through all my regenerations in way too little time at this rate.
Show threadkamikadseMay 6
@maxleibman
Show threadDavid CohenMay 6
@maxleibman @TheBreadmonkey In response to the complaints, we must point out that Ethan Hunt manages to meet this requirement just fine, and there’s a man who knows the importance of OpSec. If he can pull off multiple face changes then Management is sure the rest of you can.
Show threadatom_skillzMay 6
@maxleibman The face sculptor in Ratway will be quite busy soon
Show threadJoe WMay 6

@maxleibman I'm getting Retrophrenologist vibes (as described in a book by Sir PTerry).

For the love of Anoia I cannot figure out which book it was.
May your drawers be rattled!

Show threadAriaflameMay 6
@drchaos @maxleibman L-space says Men at Arms.
Show threadJoe WMay 6

@ariaflame @maxleibman Ah, that was it!

I guess I need to read the full Oevre again 🙃 the audio books don't really include all of the nice little scenes (such as this one, "what shall we go for? Decisiveness?" "Yes - no - I don't know..." And then the retrophrenologist says truthfully: "This won't hurt a bit" as he reaches for his hammer).

Ah, back to work. I'll dig out the book tonight.

Show threadMakiMay 6
@maxleibman Someone in my department wrote their face down on a sticky note, what do?
Show threaddatum (n=1)May 6
@maxleibman Hello helpdesk? I tried rebooting my FaceID but I'm not as flexible as I used to be and now I think I've dislocated something. Can you send someone down?
Show threadHendrik 🎸🤘🎵May 6
@maxleibman funny enough a Dutch celebrity did just that recently....(Dutch article) https://www.rtl.nl/boulevard/artikel/5507482/gerard-jolings-telefoon-herkent-zijn-gezicht-niet-na-facelift
Gerard Jolings telefoon herkent zijn gezicht niet na facelift

De telefoon van Gerard Joling herkent zijn gezicht niet meer na een facelift. Dat laat de zanger zondag zien met een video op Instagram. "Het herkent je gewoon niet meer!", zegt zijn manager Wino Omtzigt, die meekijkt op Jolings telefoon.

RTL Boulevard
Show threadsijmenMay 6
@brownhamer @maxleibman "Je doet het, maar eigenlijk denk je: waarom doe je het" ("You do it, but you actually think: why do you do it") ah yes very relatable to the billions of people doing a face lift at 65
Show threadllewellyMay 6

@maxleibman
shapeshifter, shapeshifter,
shift me a shape
my look has expired
and I need a new face

by biometric breach
or catastrophic leak
the fancy database
they use to ID my face
is all over the street

and soon someone will be
faking the face that was me

#poetry
#face
#stolenFaces
#shift

(original: https://sauropods.win/@llewelly/109982999917166496 )

llewelly (@llewelly@sauropods.win)

@maxleibman@mastodon.social shapeshifter, shapeshifter, shift me a shape my look has expired and I need a new face by biometric breach or catastrophic leak the fancy database they use to ID my face is all over the street and soon someone will be faking the face that was me

Sauropods.win
Show threadBeeCyclingMay 6
@maxleibman The Founders from Star Trek be all: sounds fine. We can do that. (Well most of us. We don't like to talk about that one guy.)
Show threadStefan ThöniMay 6
@maxleibman Also, you must not show your face to any unauthorized person.
Show threadIka MakimakiMay 6
@maxleibman
Show threadfossiliteMay 6

@maxleibman

It's my turn to shine then

Show threadSilk_Flame (she/her) 😷May 6
@maxleibman the way the current US situation is going, my face is probably aging fast enough due to stress for this to not be a problem for me 😕