CrisApr 5

The best thing *you* can do for the fediverse is *just be kind*

https://lemmy.world/post/27824597

The best thing you can do for the fediverse is just be kind - Lemmy.World

The fediverse is small, and thats both a blessing and a curse - one of its several blessings is that in a smaller space we all individually have a bigger impact on what the culture of this space is like. On this comm (and on lemmy broadly) there’s a lot of discussion about how to grow the fediverse, what to improve, but an easy thing you can do for the fediverse is right in front of us- * Be kind * Ask people what they think, and why * Approach folks you disagree with with curiosity rather than hostility * Engage sincerely * Ask yourself if there’s something nice you can say * Make this small space worth being in A platform lives or dies by what’s available on said platform and often we have this conversation in the context of “content” or posts - and we may never have as much content as reddit does. But content and posts aren’t the only thing this kind of platform offers- it also offers people. It offers community, and human interaction. Culture and community is lemmy and the fediverse’s biggest differentiator, and we all have a role to play in shaping the culture of this space. The biggest thing you can do to help the fediverse is make it a place worth being.

Show threadCris

Here are some more specific examples to think about!

  • Compliment people’s art and ask about their process

  • Teach people about something you’re knowledgeable on

  • Give constructive criticism on peoples projects when it’s welcome

  • Thank people for posting things you’re glad you got to see, tell them you enjoyed it

  • Tell people you’re glad they’re here

  • Tell people you hope they have a good day

Thanks for taking the time to read my thoughts :) if you have thoughts of your own, I’d love to hear them!

Apr 5 at 6:07pmWeb
Show threadRhaedasApr 5
On constructive criticism - definitely rule one is make sure that it's invited first, but second, the best way to "sweeten" a critique and make it more appealing is to put it between compliments. Don't have a bare remark about the problems or suggestions, tell them what you like first, then how they might change things, and then close with something else positive or simply thanking them for sharing it. Even if someone says they want to hear what people think, it's normal to be defensive, so help lower that reaction first, and then leave them feeling appreciated even though you pointed out issues you saw.
Show threadCrisApr 5

Absolutely agree, some folks just wanna share, some folks wanna get constructive crit to try and technically improve! Its important to be respectful of what kind of interaction folks are looking for :)

And absolutely, talking about both good and bad doesn’t just make it less unpleasant or more enjoyable to get feedback, it also makes better, more helpful feedback! (Assuming that’s a thing they’re looking for)

Show threadShadowApr 5

Aka the compliment sandwich. A technique I personally dislike. Be honest and open with your feedback in a positive way, don’t try to hide it between compliments. If your feedback is simply negative, keep it to yourself.

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Compliment_sandwich

Compliment sandwich - Wikipedia

Show threadrichieadler 🇦🇷Apr 5
100% agreed. If I see a compliment sandwich, I assume that the person using the technique is lying about the compliments and I lose all respect for them.
Show threadLemmchenApr 6
I’m not one for religion, but I for one would like to join the Church of Cris.
Show threadpiratApr 6
Are you open to some additional thoughts / feedback on feedback / constructive criticism?
Show threadCrisApr 6

I am! Thank you for asking :)

Ive gotten a lot of assumptions about what I meant and that’s a bit frustrating but I really value honest sincere dialogue, if you have thoughts you think would be worth sharing I’d love to hear them my friend!

Show threadpiratApr 6

I thought I had hit reply on your other comment going into more detail (whoops!).

Like I did in this example, ask if people are open to feedback (if you’re the one giving it).

Often when I am training groups on how to work together, I always try and frame feedback as a gift.

If someone is giving you feedback, they are genuinely trying to help you grow - and that’s a gift. The issue here though, is not everyone is a good gift giver - and we can’t control that.

What we do have control over is how we recieve gifts - often all you need to do is say thank you. Don’t explain why you’re not going to use this feedback (if you plan not to incorporate it). Other than clarifying the feedback to better understand how to incorporate it, saying thank you is the best way to go about it.

As far as delivering feedback I always say “if you can choose to be anything in this world why choose anything other than kind.”

It is important to state that “being kind” doesn’t mean not having the difficult conversations or delivering difficult feedback - you can still do that without being cruel. Being assertive isn’t being aggressive.

A bit rambly but if you’re ever working with folx on delivering feedback, I’ve found that presenting these frameworks with it ste super helpful

Show threadpdqcpApr 11
Have a great day :)
Show threadCrisApr 11
Thank you! You too 😊