Curmudgeon (@[email protected])

Today Donald Trump announced he was seizing the Panama Canal and moving it to the new US territory of Greenland. “It will dramatically reduce shipping costs and time to transport all of the goods from China the new tariffs help pay for,” he stated in a early morning post on Truth Social. “The best part is that Canada will be paying for relocation of the canal.” Stunned world leaders did find themselves agreeing with his statement that no one other than him could have conceived such a plan.