recursive 🏳️‍🌈

Someone in my life was recently talking about masked autism in adults:

The naive clinician or therapist asks, "do you have difficulty with socks?" and the autistic adult says no and concludes they don't have autism

The really knowledgeable one asks, "so tell me about socks," and receives a massive infodump about the very specific choices they made about socks and comfort

Dec 20, 2024 at 6:18amWeb
Show threadrecursive 🏳️‍🌈Dec 20, 2024
Some day I want radiant floor heat and better insulation, I don't really like wearing socks indoors at all
Show threadstudio craque 54 🏳️‍🌈Dec 20, 2024
@recursive hahaha socks no
Show threadstudio craque 54 🏳️‍🌈Dec 20, 2024
@recursive even so i own several pairs of very specific socks, ones that do not go above my ankle.
Show threadMicahDec 20, 2024

@dtauvdiodr @recursive
I'm mostly okay with socks, but can't stand socks that go past my ankle.

Also, why do socks have to be so... messy? My wife's sock drawer looks like an explosion of color (in neatly rolled up balls) while mine is just a bunch or the exact same sock. Any time I need new socks I try to get the exact ones I have, and if I can't then I throw ALL the old ones away and buy many new identical pairs.

But yeah, I don't have any difficulty with socks... because I figured out the very weird and specific way to avoid difficulties for myself.

Show threadIrenes (many)Dec 20, 2024
@recursive oh, yeah, we have good insulation and sufficient heating that we just go sockless lately. it's the time of year when we can wear our pretty striped ones, but even so, that's really only for when we're going somewhere and want to look nice.
Show threadrecursive 🏳️‍🌈Dec 20, 2024
@ireneista for me it's the slipperiness that's unpleasant, and I hadn't found grippy socks that didn't feel weird (sweaty against the grippy stuff, and annoying to then slip shoes over too)
Show threadrecursive 🏳️‍🌈Dec 20, 2024
@ireneista I do use a heated floor mat under my work desk though
Show threadIrenes (many)Dec 20, 2024
@recursive oh yep friction is a big issue for us, and also we have sensitive skin
Show threadIrenes (many)Dec 20, 2024
@recursive or like, lack of friction
Show threadSPICY EVIL CAET🍬🍭🎄Dec 20, 2024
@ireneista @recursive the slippery socks!!
Show threadStrfnurfnDec 28, 2024
@recursive if it helps, you can buy a paint called Sock Stop to make any sock you like into a grippy sock. It's not bumpy either. It was my salvation during quarantine 🙃
Show threadJillDec 20, 2024
@recursive i have moved to wearing cheap soft house slippers and they really work for me. They aren't tight like socks or annoying seams. They keep my feet warm enough but not too warm. Washable. And wearing them reduces the sensory experience of walking on different flooring. I usually find mine at Asian grocery stores in the US.
Show threadMurdoc Addams 🧛🏻 🇨🇦Dec 20, 2024
@JillsJoy @recursive
Slippers are indeed the way. Especially the soft and cushiony kind. 
Show threadAlex, the Hearth FireDec 20, 2024

@recursive my problem with socks is that I wish I could wear the ones I make, but my feet are too sensitive

my other problem is that the socks I buy are boring, but buying more interesting ones means I have to make more decisions about what I wear, and I don't like that either

Show threadSky, Cozy Goth Prince of CatsDec 20, 2024
@WizardOfDocs @recursive hard same on not feeling comfortable in socks I handmake, the yarn/stitch size for a reasonable hand-knit is too big so it feels like walking on pebbles for me
Show threadAnkeDec 20, 2024
@WizardOfDocs @recursive When I find socks I like, I buy a dozen pairs or more, so of that particular kind (short socks, thin knee socks) I have a lot of identical ones. That means I don't have to match pairs, and I don't have to worry about the colour clashing with the colour of my pants, andif two of them get lost or too damaged, I'll only be down one pair, instead of two, like I'd be if each pair were a different colour!
Show threadAlex, the Hearth FireDec 20, 2024

@Anke @recursive the kind of socks I buy tend to come in packs of six pairs, which makes this kind of thing easier

Agree about the colors; I don't like wearing mismatched socks

Show threadAndrew BartlettDec 20, 2024

@recursive I put a clearly neurospicy mind to the choice of downstairs flooring.

I have to say the days of research and work to find R and u values were worth it, ended up with compressed bamboo over a thermal break underlay. The combination of that layer of (urgh) tiny polystyrene beads and the thermal mass and mild insulation of the bamboo is just warm and just soft enough.

(Replaced 80s cheap carpet over cheap and expired underlay on concrete).

Oops: I just proved that point re an essay...

Show threadein kleines zDec 22, 2024
@recursive
I need socks or slippers indoors because the floor is never ever 100% clean and I can't stand if there's anything sticking to the soles of my feet, a crumb or a hair or anything. That's unignorable when I'm indoors. At the beach I'll be fine with sand on my feet, but indoors one grain of sand is too much.
Show threadsortiusDec 20, 2024

@recursive I was just discussing this with my ex, about her sister.

We just went through an ADHD (with ASD trait) diagnosis with our son, and she's starting to realise she has ADHD, and that her sister has massive ASD traits that she's spent years masking.

To the point that her ex husband and her ran a successful cafe in a trendy Sydney suburb, and she was running front-of-house.

Masking is easy for some, and it's how we all learned to survive before there were diagnoses

Show threadHans-Cees 🍋🌲🦔🦦🐝🦋🐛🚅🇸🇳🇵🇾🇹🇬🇹🇲Dec 20, 2024
@recursive been reading this book lately
Show threadHo Ho Ho Like The SlurDec 20, 2024

@recursive have you heard the good word of Bridgedale Socks?

/sock evangelist

Show threadDibsDec 20, 2024
@recursive I don't have a problem with socks! As long as I can keep buying exactly the same style/material I have been wearing for, I dunno, 20 years?
Show threadElectropictDec 20, 2024

@recursive

I’ve never been asked but could certainly talk about it.

Show thread0xC0DEC0DE07EADec 20, 2024
@recursive “Do you have difficulty with clothes?”
No. I buy clothes that I want to wear and wear them.”
“I’ve noticed that you only wear solid colors, your coats and footwear are always black, and - no matter the weather - you only wear short sleeves. Do you want to tell me about those decisions?”
Show thread0xC0DEC0DE07EADec 20, 2024
@recursive I learned multiple times that fandom or “clever” apparel drew unwanted engagement. I like them, but I can’t wear them because I don’t always want to hear how much you also like [thing] or have random strangers riff on the joke on my shirt.
Show threadCorinODec 20, 2024
@recursive @Volibre 
Show threadJoshua A.C. NewmanDec 20, 2024
@recursive
I don’t get why everyone else has to try so many kinds of pants day after day, like they have some sort of problem with pants, where I’ve got five pair of the same pants that have the pockets where I want them. Why can’t they just find their right pants?
Show threadJoby  (he/him)Dec 20, 2024
@recursive The joke I've heard is that they ask if you have problems with socks, and neurotypical people say "no," but autistic people say "no, I have a system."
Show threadLaberpferdDec 27, 2024
@joby @recursive
i have no probem with socks, i just buy 20 of the same color and there will ever be at most a single one
Show threadWoozle HypertwinDec 20, 2024
@recursive ...and to the second question I'd be all "I don't like socks, and my feet almost never get cold enough for it to feel worth wearing them, so year-round I have bare feet indoors and flip-flops outdoors even when it's freezing and people think I'm weird and they're right."
Show threadMatthew Weier O'PhinneyDec 20, 2024
@recursive I was about to argue with this, and then realized I could write essays on my sock choices over the last 3+ decades.
Show threadSPICY EVIL CAET🍬🍭🎄Dec 20, 2024
@recursive socks!!! Those are very nice and i love socks
Show threadRaelis  Dec 20, 2024
@recursive would you rather go to a party or to a library? 
Show threadRichard LittauerDec 20, 2024
@recursive I... I have so many sock issues. I feel so seen.
Show threadTheoDec 20, 2024
@recursive oh hi it's me.
Show threadnova (they/them)Dec 20, 2024
@recursive reminds me of how my autistic doctor who gave me my autism diagnosis started off with generic small talk then unexpectedly asked me to tell her about my favourite video game... which led to a very immediate unmasking to infodump. i didn't even realize what she did in the moment, it took until i got the diagnostic report to realize what she did!!
Show threadMx. Luna Corbden 🐸Dec 20, 2024

@recursive @nova Do I walk around the house with my knee-high socks half off my ankle and the rest of the sock dragging around in front because my feet got too hot at some earlier point in the day?

No, why do you ask?

Show threadnova (they/them)Dec 20, 2024
@corbden @recursive i could never (i would be barefoot as soon as my feet were too hot)

i used to take off the socks my mom made me put on as soon as i got into class in grade school, and i'd stuff them in my desk. on desk clean out day, i'd bring home 20 pairs of socks i had stored. i hated socks. i still hate them, but my system has improved since then...
Show threadMx. Luna Corbden 🐸Dec 20, 2024
@nova @recursive But what if my toes are still cold? 🥺🤓
Show threadPossiblyAutisticDec 20, 2024
@recursive Why are clinicians so stupid?
Show threadDrahflowDec 20, 2024

@recursive I don't wear socks. Therefore I have no problem with socks. 🤷

(Except the one pair I'll use if I expect long exposure to cold or wear dancing shoes.)

Show threadLooking for explanations…Dec 20, 2024

@recursive

I love the fact that so many of us have moved straight past the point of this toot to talk about socks. The fact that something doesn’t have to be a special interest for us to engage.

I immediately started thinking about all the times when socks have mattered to me in some way.

Show threadrecursive 🏳️‍🌈Dec 20, 2024
@Susan60 it's cool to see it happen ❤️
Show threadLooking for explanations…Dec 20, 2024
@recursive
Cool, and funny in a really lovely way. I laughed, at the same time as feeling that I belong.
Show threadJargogglesDec 20, 2024
@recursive
Yet another installment of "wait, this isn't something everyone experiences?"
Show threadRenDec 21, 2024
@recursive um. So what you're telling me is I'm probably somewhere on the spectrum... (This is not news but I've never bothered to diagnose it)
Show threadrecursive 🏳️‍🌈Dec 21, 2024
@ren I have not been formally diagnosed either 🤷‍♀️
Show threadLightDec 21, 2024
@recursive I like socks to match in texture, but other than that I don't really care. I try to make them match fully (in appearance as well) when I can.
It's okay if they don't match in texture if that's all there is.
Show threadCassandraVertDec 21, 2024
@recursive Another day, another...
Doesn't everyone do that?
Show threadJennifer Moore 😷Dec 21, 2024

@recursive

Tangentially, this is a great example of how a question with less baggage in it gets you better data :-)

#CleanLanguage

Show threadKo Simon toku ingoa Dec 22, 2024
@recursive the heels and toes of the socks MUST be in exactly the right position relative to my foot. My 3 year old daughter has exactly the same requirement.
Show threadSkiriki FyxeDec 22, 2024

@recursive Zero socks! Socks feel like a snake trying to eat my foot or legs! AAAA!

...not even ask how I feel about pantyhose.

Show threadezmyreldaDec 22, 2024
@recursive tell you.. tell you a thing about X.. that’s how I know I’m on the spectrum. If asked I will tell you all about whatever subjects I know about. But I don’t offer much up without being asked. And words or context is very important. I get frustrated without the context to certain things.
Show threadMarcin Juszkiewicz 🙃Dec 22, 2024

@recursive so tell me about socks.

I hear that topic again and searching for info brings me shops, Down awareness day and no useful information.

Show threadfungus (oracle of tree logs)Dec 22, 2024
@recursive surprisingly, whatever sock is fine
was used to hate short socks when young, but now that really a whatever
just need to be the two same tho
Show threadAlice Dec 27, 2024
@hypha @recursive easy solution: have all socks be the same
Show threadRachelDec 27, 2024
@alice @[email protected] @recursive I used to do that, and when those wore out I got nicer socks of a few different types

but! each type is a different color and my dresser has organizers where matching types can be dumped sorted by color

I assume this is normal
Show threadAlice Dec 27, 2024
@rachel @hypha @recursive that seems nice, tho the place where I got mine only had melange grey ones, so all of mine are that. And yeah, I already went through getting nicer ones - before cracking I had all black ones with horrible texture. I assumed this was just normal, but now I have much nicer soft socks
Show threadFurbland's Very Cool Mastodon™Dec 22, 2024
@recursive as an autistic person I can confirm that whenever I’m asked a question like that it’s either “yeah I don’t really think about that stuff idk” or *2+ hour tangent that eventually devolves into insane rambling*