Peter DodemontAug 24, 2024
Lesley Carhart 
Even if you don't mean it, your little accidental societal sexist assumptions (about job roles, hobbies, capabilities, interests) are definitely noted and perceived as microaggressions. Because they often are purposeful microaggressions. Please try to be better at this, even if you are an ally and empathetic. Ask if you're not sure what people are trained in or enjoy. That goes for all genders.
Aug 23, 2024 at 6:09pmWeb
Show threadFi 🏳️‍⚧️Aug 23, 2024

@hacks4pancakes

I don't like the term 'microaggression' because the person guilty of such can wave it off as "well it's just a little thing; there's no reason to get upset"

It minimizes the systemic harm they are promoting.

I like to pull the string on their assumptions, and make the subtext of their point of view extremely textual and visible - because the "micro" behavior always derives from a root cause of "My opinion about you is more important than your factual self-definition"

Show threadLesley Carhart Aug 23, 2024
@munin that's totally fair, just using the psychological term
Show threadShark AttakAug 23, 2024
@munin @hacks4pancakes
In turn I don't like it cause it always assumes it's intentional. Like stepping on a puppy's paw, I understand it hurts but there's not always evil behind it.
Show threadFi 🏳️‍⚧️Aug 23, 2024

@SharkAttak @hacks4pancakes

I don't give a fuck about your intentions. I give a fuck that you harmed me.

The correct response to being informed you have committed a harm is to apologize.

Expecting -me- to pander to -your- intention is demanding emotional labor from me to assuage your hurt feelings.

So now you have harmed me further: with the initial aggression, and with your expectation that I am going to perform further labor instead of having my hurt acknowledged.

Show threadShark AttakAug 23, 2024
@munin @hacks4pancakes
So you don't give a fuck, but I should? This kind of moderate and mild response isn't helping drive your point.
BTW If I was to apply your "Expecting -me- to pander to -your- intention is demanding emotional labor from me to assuage your hurt feelings." to YOU instead it wouldn't be very nice, would it?
Show threadFi 🏳️‍⚧️Aug 23, 2024

@SharkAttak

So you're further aggressing by policing my language; and then you go on to a classic example of DARVO.

This is the way in which domestic abusers operate; thank you for the very clear demonstration of the dynamic.

Show threadShark AttakAug 23, 2024
@munin
So you're further demonstrating your "I don't care about YOU, I care about ME" viewpoint, not addressing any of the points. Thank you for the demonstration.
Show threadgroxxAug 24, 2024

@SharkAttak @munin @hacks4pancakes

Harm has been done.

That's a problem, whether or not the harmer believes or understands it. Someone has still been harmed.

*That's* the point. Empathy, in a nutshell.

Show threadWulfy—Speaker to the machinesAug 23, 2024

@hacks4pancakes

So that's what that slightly annoying, but I'm probably over-reacting feeling is!
MICROAGRESSION!!!

#Til #psychology