I’m not okay, I’m stuck in the depths of dysfunction. A sea of depression, anxiety, insomnia, and chronic pain. Watching the world crash from inside the cage of my own mind. I observe how others socialize, joke. Float in and out with ease.

As Covid and measles ravages our tiny community, ableds continue on. Unvaccinated, unmasked, uncaring for who is excluded, who is suffering, who may die. Wild fire smoke settles in the valley. A thick blanket of smog. Particles ravaging thin membranes of tiny lungs. Neighbors in tents struggle to breathe, and others walk on with ease.

I sit in silence, indoors indefinitely, my child grasps for comfort, for community, for care. I am both weighted down, yet floating above.