Helen Of DestroyAug 5, 2024

Last night I had a dream:

I was falling through the air, careening towards the ground at an alarming rate. Above me was expansive nothingness, below was a thick forest. Its dense canopy briefly softened my descent before I crashed through tender branch after tender branch and landed on the forest floor.

Show threadHelen Of DestroyAug 5, 2024

When I came to I was surrounded by brightly colored caricatures who regarded me as a potential threat. They were armed with simple weapons; swords, spears, and bows with arrows, all pointed at me - and all made of candy.

I slowly made my way to my feet, keeping my hands where they could be seen. I was informed that I was trespassing in the land of the candy people and that if I valued my life I would surrender. I allowed myself to be taken prisoner and was led through the forest to a castle

Show threadHelen Of DestroyAug 6, 2024
I was presented to Queen Dulce Caramellinda before the entire candy court. She was human like me but was adorned with candy as jewelry and makeup. I was accused of being a spy for the Balloon kingdom and sentenced to death by being sent to the front line of the great war. I was given armor made of polished hard candy, a peppermint shield, and a sword made of a sharpened candy cane.
Show threadHelen Of DestroyAug 6, 2024
Traveling through the trenches towards the front line I saw umbrellas and wide brimmed hats stacked up along the walls. The injured candy people looked like they were in various stages of melting. One of the candy soldiers signaled that there was incoming heavy fire causing everyone to take shelter. I was not quick enough and was exposed to the fire. The incoming object was a simple water balloon that splashed me enough to make my armor gross, sticky, and unpleasant to wear.
Show threadHelen Of DestroyAug 6, 2024

I stripped out of my armor and climbed to the surface against the commands of the commanding officers. The balloon people had a wall of heating coils and from behind them they fired water guns and launched water balloons. I laughed and simply walked over, drawing all the fire and allowing the candy people to advance.

I did not want to injury any balloon people so I had cast aside my sword and approached the wall with my hands up. I am not sure what I was trying to accomplish.

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I was quickly apprehended by the balloon army. I was wrapped head to toe in a rope of latex free balloons and carried off by a racing team of balloon dogs toward what looked like a bouncy castle.

Once we arrived I was taken to the King of the Balloon Kingdom which juts happened to be my friend Nate. In the real world Nate is a master balloon artist and owns his own company that does giant balloon art installations. (I'll attach a picture of him later)

Aug 6, 2024 at 1:03amWeb
Show threadHelen Of DestroyAug 6, 2024

He sat in his pink overalls and blue shirt on a throne of balloons looking unamused. I called his name and I was snapped with a long skinny balloon that was made into a whip. I was told that I was to address him as "Your Majesty the King" "Your Highness" or "Your Grace".

I was certain that he would hear me out since he knew me but instead he sentenced me to the darkest, deepest dungeon. I was dragged away and tossed in a dark and cold cell with nothing to entertain me.

Show threadHelen Of DestroyAug 6, 2024
Hours later I was approached by a balloon guard who opened my cell. A cloaked figured entered the room and I rose to my feet. The figure removed his hood to reveal that he was my friend Nate. I asked him what the hell was going on, why was I in jail. He said he said he didn't want to throw me in jail but he had to put on the appearance of a stern king for his kingdom at this time of unrest.
Show threadHelen Of DestroyAug 6, 2024
I told him that I supposed I understood but it still sucked. He asked for forgiveness and invited me to a secret tea party with his partner Stacy, his right hand man Dillon, and a hand full of sentient teddy bears.