मानस Mānas مانسMeditating on self-immolation allows me to continue existing in a backwards society full of fair-skinned rapists & pedophiles even while they continue to scapegoat me for their own abuse. I can dwell in peace and non-violence even as they project their own destructive emotions onto the least violent individuals - I have no doubt that a white, chinese or casteist male would likely have become a mass murderer had they had to endure what I have suffered.
I don't exist here as a human being, but merely an aggregate of a million delusions each formed through arrogance and privilege.
People who apparently believe themselves as possessing Jesus Christ's eyes and thus conclude that their every perception were pure truth. All they implement here is the projection of their own insecurities, their own dukkha, which they are too lazy and ignorant to address and so the only route available to them is to abuse, traumatize, and dehumanize, turning people into mere vessels of dukkha.
Once dehumanization is achieved, the whole cult-like society here has a new target for heaping all of their backwardness onto while stunting through their performative humanity which has no capacity for connecting with true dukkha. To have to exist amongst such backwardness for even a moment is an awful, horrible, rotten experience.
One literally feels the self that they know vanish, which is replaced by the backwardness of the society around them, a society which will not hesitate to decimate them on account of the dukkha that the society itself has projected upon the individual.
For all their drivel about being intellectual, scientific people, their society reflects none of this as any and all intellectual work is carried out as an act of consumption. Consumption leads to nothing worthwhile. Consumption does not lead to a developed, mature humanity which can thoroughly understand and implement Buddhadhamma independent of consumption, privilege, and property.
Each individual exists as a collection of narratives developed by people standing far away, as though swapping shiny pieces of aesthetically pleasing faecal matter amongst themselves.
Non-whites appear to love playing this backwards game of obedience. Those who bully, those who abuse, those who implement white supremacists' violence on their behalf are given ”success“, those who merely express their dukkha because that is all their life has been are casually discarded.
All that exists here is narratives disconnected from any truth or love and the humanity-devoid society, which is perfectly capable of watching basketball games yet thoroughly incapable of identifying dehumanized people in their midst, operates superficially all of the time everywhere.
Their lives are constructed out of bullshit narratives that are built within the safety of privilege bubbles. They appear to receive no criticism or pushback in these privilege bubbles, and nothing taking place anywhere else on the planet as a result of people attempting to alleviate true dukkha gives them any pause or embarrassment at the vapid, insipid level at which they exist and operate.
It is a society of petty, foolish, delusional, ignorant, humanity-devoid trash that build no solidarity and engage in the nourishment of no communities.
A society which has made mental/emotional/intellectual/spiritual manipulation the core of their existence and so get conned every moment by rapists & pedophiles who have the opportunity to develop their craft to far deadlier capacities than the delusional dogmatic arrogant members of the cult of obedience.
I meditate on self-immolation because it reminds me of the capacity for strength in the human body. It reminds me that I am capable of sitting perfectly still and quiet, even while every part of me burns, even my breath itself.
It reminds me that I have every capacity to flail and wail, yet I can make a choice not to - and that this choice can be made even when death is staring directly at you. If I can stay perfectly still and quiet when engulfed in flames then why should the irritation and annoyance of dukkha projected onto me by a pathetic, childish, infantile society be of any concern?
A society which does not know what dukkha is and chooses to play with it like a toy in some delusional belief in its own alleged ”power“. To be a slave to your own dukkha sounds like a hell of your own creation, one which will ensure that no actual humanity develops and limits a people to performative existence constantly pleasing others, perpetually terrified of public international embarrassment.
I continue to be proud of my complete ostracization & total isolation. The dukkha of these backwards people is not my dukkha, I have alleviated this particular dukkha and understand it well so I do not need to colonize anyone else for the purposes of digging a convenient pit into which I may shovel the dukkha that I find unappealing.