Keith D Johnson
Upon learning that the #Oklahoma Superintendent of Schools intended to put bibles in every classroom to be used as text books, #JimWright quipped:

"Good Morning, Children. Please open your Bibles to Ezekiel 23:19-21.
"Yet she became more and more promiscuous as she recalled the days of her youth, when she was a prostitute in Egypt. There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.”
Your assignment is to ask your parents to help you write a 500 word essay on what you think that means. Illustrations optional."
Jun 27, 2024 at 6:55pmWeb
Show threadchompy lee lee garueJun 27, 2024
@KeithDJohnson or….shove a bible down that christofascists pie hole?
Show threadSally StrangeJun 28, 2024
@KeithDJohnson cute. Not seeing how this fights fascism tho
Show threadDavid Cantrell 🏏Jun 28, 2024

@KeithDJohnson "ChatGPT, pad this out to a 500 word essay: 'From verse 4 it's clear that this is allegorical, the woman in question is the people of Israel, turning away from the right path, and then in verse 22 onwards they get their just desserts. What I learned from this is that whenever anyone gives you any short quote that looks bad, you should look at the surrounding context'."

Do I get an A?

Show threadMichael Maibaum 🇪🇺🇬🇧🇨🇦🇺🇳🌍Jun 28, 2024

@DrHyde @KeithDJohnson

Nope because you have entirely missed the point. The point is not if the verse is good or bad, the point is that
a) the more fundamentalist end of the christian right will shit a brick at the task
b) mandatory bible as part of education is a terrible idea
c) as a non-american, with a fairly superficial understanding of the constitution this seems to directly contradict the separation of church and state so is a way to stick two fingers up at that.

Show threadDFYXJun 28, 2024
@KeithDJohnson I wonder how they'd feel about the verses about giving to the poor, not charging interest on loans, loving their neighbors and welcoming refugees.
Show threadDammitjanetJun 28, 2024
@KeithDJohnson @dfyx 'thas not in muh bibull'. They only want the parts that meet their worldview, not the parts that mean they have to be nice to everybody
Show threadMedea Vanamonde🏳️‍⚧️ ♀Jun 28, 2024

@KeithDJohnson oh yes! I’ve only read the fragmentary version in the Dead Sea Scrolls Bible .
Only in Kings III: The Search for Solomon …so a full copy is Zeke’s Amazing Food Poisoning Trip is a week or so out in this :

Kings II was an endless orgy of Toxic Masculinity and Redemption arcs.

It’s the version of the Holy Books of Israel that JC and the Aposts knew .

Tune in for my occasional toots as I work thru it .

Kinda explains why American Xtian Men are into Barbeque so heavy

Show threadMichele Feltman StriderJun 28, 2024
@KeithDJohnson Malicious compliance is the way. And it's going to be hilarious
Show threadNazaniJun 28, 2024
@KeithDJohnson
I would go with something more about kids:
Numbers 31:17-18 King James Version (KJV)
Now therefore kill every male among the little ones, and kill every woman that hath known man by lying with him. But all the women children, that have not known a man by lying with him, keep alive for yourselves.
Show threadchrisJun 28, 2024
@Nazani @KeithDJohnson
Story time could be Genesis chapter 19, wherein the righteous Lot first
offers his virgin daughters up to a violent mob bent on gang rape, and later
ends up impregnating them while supposedly drunk.
Is that what fundamentalists mean when they talk about family values?
Show threadchrisJun 28, 2024
@Nazani @KeithDJohnson
And unfortunately the thinking behind those verses from Numbers is still with us. See, for instance, Washington state representative Matt Shea's manifesto, A Biblical Basis for War.
Show threadTony GebhardJun 28, 2024
@KeithDJohnson lmfao!
Show threadlonely extrovertJun 29, 2024
@KeithDJohnson this reminds me of a card game...
https://www.agameforgoodchristians.com/
like cards against humanity only with bible quotes...
A Game For Good Christians

A Game for Good Christians The only Christian game not afraid of the Bible.

A Game For Good Christians
Show threadMargotBJul 3, 2024
@KeithDJohnson 🤣🤣🤣