@Green_Footballs I would spend my remaining moments revelling in that awesome pic.

@Green_Footballs What do we do? We die.

@Green_Footballs This is why you always bring your flamethrower when you sky dive Charles.

@Green_Footballs I always skydive with a portable Weber grill, so that cluck is fucked.

@Green_Footballs I'd say this is a devil chicken that can quote scripture

@Green_Footballs what am I even seeing here, it looks like a chicken selfie?

@Green_Footballs Blackmail in the name of the Lord? That's the spirit.

@Green_Footballs pull her cord first and then mine, so everyone survives and I can get her charged with assault!

@Green_Footballs this is from TotK Link's POV after he upset a cuco one too many times xD

@Green_Footballs
Checkmate, atheists.

@Green_Footballs Blackmailing and attempted murder to force people to adhere to bullshit? This attitude is anything but Christian (who should rather follow THIS ONE RULE: “love each other”).

@Green_Footballs Tell them to go fly a kote.

@Green_Footballs I peck her ripcord and we sing hymns together on the way down.

@Green_Footballs I can kick the chicken while freefalling. Not a problem.

@Green_Footballs
I hope I don't dream about that chicken image.

@Green_Footballs if I have a rowboat and a wolf I think I’m okay

@Green_Footballs Wow! Now there’s a question that, if someone asked me how many times I’d hear that pitched in my lifetime, I’d have probably taken the under.

@Green_Footballs I used to ask the priest exactly this during confession

@Green_Footballs embrace the laws of physics and streamline my body so, thanks to my increased bodyweight, I fall faster than the chicken and it can't peck the ripcord anymore

@Green_Footballs Shrug and calmly reply, "But of course I accept Jesus as my Lord and Savior - I know for a fact that he has done enough seeking into the Chao, so he is wise and he has obtained delight by Her Great Surprise. Thus, he must obviously be at least a Deacon in the Church of POEE. Hail Eris!"

@Green_Footballs well I know what I'm having for dinner that night

@Green_Footballs I guess I would allocate 8 seconds to teaching her about informed and enthusiastic consent

@Green_Footballs are we just skipping right over "Holy nuts! A talking chicken!"?

@Green_Footballs
It's actually quite easy to snap a chicken's neck. Just sayin

@Green_Footballs @lisamelton Punch her?

@Green_Footballs I would not do such a cruel thing to a chicken. Shame!

@Green_Footballs A true atheist would not put up with that - they'd put their arms out and glide away

@Green_Footballs chicken nuggets

@Green_Footballs I’d strangle that fucking chicken.

@Green_Footballs Wring its neck? 🍗

@Green_Footballs Can you just hold the chicken? ...idk I kinda want to hug the chicken.

@Green_Footballs
What the actual... ?

@Green_Footballs
Try to wake up, probably.

@Green_Footballs you choke the chicken. The answer is always choke the chicken.

@Green_Footballs take her from the neck and throw her to the ground so she became a roast by the air that will Airfryer her to death by air attriction

@Green_Footballs eat it.

@Green_Footballs LOOK INTO ITS SOOOUUUULLLL

@Green_Footballs I'd recite the fucking Nicean Creed, and have fried chicken for my next meal…after an interval sufficient for brining and other necessary preparation.

@Green_Footballs I’m suggesting karaage for dinner tonight.

@Green_Footballs I’d tell her whatever she wants to hear because it doesn’t matter. Jesus. Mithra. Apollo. Gumby. Pikachu. Whatever. We land, and I go on with my life.

@Green_Footballs the ripcord, I would poulet

@Green_Footballs Tell it whatever it wants to hear and video the conversation until we land safely, then grab it and sell the talking chicken to the highest bidder. Since chickens can’t talk, I’d probably wake up from this stupid dream at some point.

@Green_Footballs
This is quite unlikely, as every Christian preacher I have ever known has claimed that Jesus only came to save humans. Therefore there cannot be a Christian chicken.