October 23, 2023 - Day 296 - NewPlay Review
Total NewPlays: 315

Game: Lords & Villeins

Platform: Steam
Release Date: Nov 11, 2022
Installation Date: Oct 23, 2023
Unplayed: 0d
Playtime: 15m

Lords & Villeins is a top-down pixel-art medieval city-building sim. Number six in the October Humble Choice Bundle.

I generally try to find something good to say about a game, but I genuinely can't find anything to like about this game.

Top-down & pixel-art was a hard sell to begin with, but Stardew Valley is top-down pixel-art and that worked for me.

This just didn't click. It's not so much of a city-building management sim, as a micro-management sim based on city-building.

The systems in the game seem disconnected from one another.

You assign land to a family. A 10 block x 10 block area of land is "10 acres". Each person takes up 1 block, so I guess each person is 10% of an acre in size?

But then you turn that area into a house, and now it's a 10 acre house?

I have to give the villeins everything single thing they need from my "warehouse". There are things in my warehouse. How did they get there? I do not know.

For instance, I had to give them X amount of straw.

Then they need walls on the land I zoned for them, and I can build the walls out of straw or wood. Do the walls come out of my warehouse pile of straw or the straw I just gave to the villeins?

The game does not tell me, and at this point, I do not care. I just want it to be over.

I attempt to build walls. You place the icon and drag out the wall. I dragged it in the wrong place. I can't cancel it. I need to delete it. I can't delete it with a drag. I have to click on and delete every single piece of wall individually.

The systems in this game are opaque and frustrating and when my 15 minutes were up, I gave a sigh of relief.

There is probably an audience for this game, but wherever that may be, I assume they have a tolerance for pain that I lack.

Lords & Villeins:

1: Nope

#LordsAndVilleins #TopDown #PixelArt #Medieval #CityBuilder #HumbleChoice #Gaming #Project365ONG #Project365 #NewPlay

October 24, 2023 - Day 297 - NewPlay Review
Total NewPlays: 316

Game: A Juggler's Tale

Platform: Steam
Release Date: Sep 30, 2021
Installation Date: Oct 24, 2023
Unplayed: 0d
Playtime: 46m

Game number seven in the October Humble Choice Bundle is "A Juggler's Tale"; a 2.5D sideways scrolling puzzle adventure game.

I have incredibly mixed emotions about this game.

You play as Abby, a young girl, who is both a juggler, and a marionette. Abby is trapped in a circus and forced to perform, and A Juggler's Tale is the story of her escape, narrated by the puppeteer.

The graphics are gorgeous, the sound design is good. The puzzles are not too challenging, although the controls (on controller) can be a little bit fiddly.

The narrator is an older man with an English accent, and is in turns condescending, and patronising in the way he talks to (and about) Abby, frequently belittling her (and technically *my*) failures when attempting to solve puzzles - and I utterly despise him.

I'm not sure whether the intent of the devs was to make me feel like that towards him, but his manner and commentary triggers emotional responses within me that I don't think were intended.

I'm tempted to just Google the game to find out how it ends, and if there's any kind of catharsis, because the idea of spending the entire game with this horrible person, fills me with dread.

A Juggler's Tale is:

4: Good*

#AJugglersTale #SidewaysScroller #Adventure #Puzzle #HumbleChoice #Gaming #Project365ONG #Project365 #NewPlay

*Trigger Warning, mention of abuse.

I suspect that my reaction is partly a trauma response, from the abuse I experienced growing up. So, while I think this game is good, if you have that kind of trauma it may actually be triggering, which is a weird thing to have to say about a game like this.

October 25, 2023 - Day 298 - NewPlay Review
Total NewPlays: 317

Game: Mr. Prepper

Platform: Steam
Release Date: Mar 19, 2021
Installation Date: Oct 25, 2023
Unplayed: 0d
Playtime: 32m

Mr. Prepper is the final game in the October Humble Choice. It's 2.5D cooker-themed... sorry, "prepper"-themed survival sim.

It basically feels like Fallout Shelter if it were about SovCits. And written by SovCits.

You play as the titular "Mr. Prepper" who literally goes by that name in-game, introducing himself as that to other NPCs.

The US government has been taken over by some kind of fascist organisation that stopped Mr. Prepper from escaping from his home town in the midwest, and is now monitoring him for subversive behaviour.

You need to build a bunker for him, and build a whole lot of stuff for the bunker, all while hiding it from the regular government inspections.

This is another game where if the theme of the game were different I might enjoy it more, but the whole real-world prepper/conspiracy theorist Venn diagram takes the shine off it, and just gives me a case of the icks.

Mr. Prepper is:

2: Meh

#MrPrepper #Survival #Sim #HumbleChoice #Gaming #Project365ONG #Project365 #NewPlay

October 26, 2023 - Day 299 - NewPlay Review
Total NewPlays: 318

Game: Dub Dash

Platform: Steam
Release Date: Feb 17, 2016
Installation Date: Oct 21, 2023
Unplayed: 5d
Playtime: 27m

Dub Dash is a dubstep-themed rhythm arcade game.

Using a couple of buttons, you need to time your button-presses just right to dodge the obstacles that pop up in front of you, in time with the dubstep soundtrack.

I have a bit of a thing for rhythm games, but I struggle a bit with games where I need to memorise an exact set of moves and repeat them perfectly. This is a combination of both.

The first level is a top-down level where you're a rolling wheel in a trench dodging the obstacles popping out of the side-walls of the trench. Kind of like the Star Wars trench run meets Skrillex.

The thing I found mildly irritating is that most of the required moves are on the beat, and then suddenly one that's off-beat, and not necessarily in a way that makes sense.

I'd feel like I was in the groove, and suddenly I'd smash into an obstacle that was on the third beat. I eventually beat the first level, but this is definitely one of those "I might play it again if the mood strikes me" games.

Dub Dash is:

3: OK

#DubDash #Rhythm #Arcade #Gaming #Project365ONG #Project365 #NewPlay

October 27, 2023 - Day 300 - NewPlay Review
Total NewPlays: 319

Game: Not Tonight

Platform: Steam
Release Date: Aug 17, 2018
Installation Date: Oct 21, 2023
Unplayed: 6d
Playtime: 36m

Not Tonight is a pixel-art work simulator based in a post-Brexit Britain, where a fascist government has taken over, and as a "Euro" with part European heritage and the right papers, you have to fight with an authoritarian bureaucracy in an attempt to remain in a country that wants you out.

To do this you work as a gig-economy bouncer at a pub.

I played for 36 minutes, doing the same job over and over, and if the gameplay loop extends beyond this, I don't feel like playing any longer to

Not Tonight is:

2: Meh

#NotTonight #PixelArt #WorkSimulator #Gaming #Project365ONG #Project365 #NewPlay

October 28, 2023 - Day 301 - NewPlay Review
Total NewPlays: 320

Game: Vampire: The Masquerade - Shadows of New York

Platform: Steam
Release Date: Sep 11, 2020
Installation Date: Oct 21, 2023
Unplayed: 7d
Playtime: 52m

My sole exposure to Vampire: The Masquerade prior to playing Vampire: The Masquerade - Shadows of New York was playing Vampire: The Masquerade - Bloodhunt.

Vampire: The Masquerade - Bloodhunt is a third-person battle-royale with vampires.

Vampire: The Masquerade - Shadows of New York is... not.

I thought all of the early reading was setting up for the gameplay, but it was taking quite a long time, and then I was faced with a decision, which was - apparently - the wrong decision, because immediately afterwards I was met with a Game Over.

So I started over, discovered that seemingly all of the narrative "choices" in the initial setup lead to exactly the same point of decision, made the opposite decision and... more story.

After a while, because I'd hit the wee hours of this morning, I decided to pull the pin, and looked up the game, and... oh. Right.

It's actually a visual novel, something of a "Choose Your Own Adventure" based on the Vampire: The Masquerade TTRPG, which I also learned of last night.

So, if you're a fan of visual novels, and Choose Your Own Adventure (TM), and the Vampire: The Masquerade TTRPG, this might be right up your alley.

Admittedly, the story did end up being kind of interesting, but this is actually a sequel to an earlier visual novel (Coteries of New York) for which I have an unused key, so might read that first.

Vampire: The Masquerade - Shadows of New York is:

3: OK

#VampireTheMasquerade #ShadowsOfNewYork #VisualNovel #Gaming #Project365ONG #Project365 #NewPlay

October 29, 2023 - Day 302 - NewPlay Review
Total NewPlays: 321

Game: Youropa

Platform: Steam
Release Date: Jun 27, 2018
Installation Date: Oct 21, 2023
Unplayed: 8d
Playtime: 29m

Youropa is a third-person 3D platform puzzle game, in which pieces of a stylized Paris have been ripped from the ground and suspended in mid-air as a series of platforms.

Each platform has one of more puzzles that need to be solved to open the door to transport you to the next platform, and gravity is non-committal about the whole thing.

At times you can walk along a platform that wraps around itself and find yourself walking on what was previously the underside of the platform. At other times you can take a step towards the edge of the platform and find yourself suddenly on the next surface and rotated through 90 degrees, or alternatively, plunging towards Paris below, because gravity, much like the controls for this game, can be finicky.

Unfortunately, while the graphics and lighting are quite pretty, giving the game a certain charm, and the conceit of the game is something out of the ordinary, the wildly inconsistent controls make it equal parts fun and frustrating, and not in a "enjoyable challenge" way, but more in a "Why am I doing this to myself?" way.

Ultimately, I don't think the uniqueness is enough to make me want to come back to Youropa, making it a bit:

2: Meh

#Youropa #ThirdPerson #3D #Platform #Puzzles #Gaming #Project365ONG #Project365 #NewPlay

October 30, 2023 - Day 303 - NewPlay Review
Total NewPlays: 322

Game: Tales of the Neon Sea

Platform: Steam
Release Date: Apr 30, 2019
Installation Date: Oct 21, 2023
Unplayed: 9d
Playtime: 43m

Tales of the Neon Sea is a cyberpunk-themed 2D pixel art adventure.

I'm a sucker for cyberpunk-themed games, and this is a game that makes pixel art look gorgeous. It's just a shame that the artwork is the best part of the game.

You play as Rex, a partly cybernetic ex-cop-turned-detective, who awakens in a sewer, only to suddenly find himself being chased by a grim-reaper-esque character wearing a plague doctor mask. Who can teleport.

After slowly escaping (because Rex is injured and moves really slowly), it's eventually revealed that this is a flash-forward.

"Three days earlier...", sees Rex getting out of bed in a gigantic house, and beginning his adventure.

The thing is, Rex moves slowly even when uninjured. The longer I played, the more it became obvious why. This is a game that has been made longer by slowing you down.

The length has then been increased by putting each of the MacGuffins you require to solve each puzzle as far away from you as possible, forcing you to walk slowly from one end of Rex's gigantic house to the other and back. Over, and over. There's no run. Only walk.

You also can't pick up stuff along the way that might be helpful later; things only become available to you when you need them for a puzzle.

While the storyline and setting grabbed me, the constant trudging backwards and forwards in Tales of the Neon Sea made it all a bit:

2: Meh

#TalesOfTheNeonSea #2D #PixelArt #Puzzle #Adventure #Gaming #Project365ONG #Project365 #NewPlay

October 31, 2023 - Day 304 - NewPlay Review
Total NewPlays: 323

Game: TSIOQUE

Platform: Steam
Release Date: Nov 8, 2018
Installation Date: Oct 21, 2023
Unplayed: 10d
Playtime: 17m

TSIOQUE is a 2.5D hand drawn point and click adventure.

You play as young princess Tsioque, who has been left behind in the castle by her mother, the Queen, who has ridden off to fight an existential threat to her kingdom (queendom?)

While the Queen is away, the wizard will play. He's evil, takes over the castle, imprisons the princess, she has to escape, yada yada yada.

There are point-and-click adventures where the puzzles are creative brainteasers, and obvious in hindsight.

There are others where you just randomly click on crap until something happens.

Given the complete lack of tutorial, and the single-pocket inventory, IF you actually have one item, it may not be entirely obvious how to use it.

By "may not be", it's actually "good luck working out the UI!"

A later puzzle presented me with an "invisibility blanket". Often a point-and-click will say "you can't use that now" when you try to use something at the wrong time.

TSIOQUE doesn't. Nothing happens. There's no feedback whatsoever.

Turns out that on the next screen, you need to use it to evade some enemies. How? No idea. I tried to run back to the previous room and use the blanket?

Nope.

Click in the wrong place, the item is returned to the pocket.

Turns out that when you can use it, you kind of drag it towards Tsioque and *it's removed from the pocket*, and she can use it.

How do you put it away afterwards?

You can't.

Tsioque finds herself standing in the dark. Clicking does nothing. The invisibility blanket is back in the pocket. She's also wearing it, and it cannot be removed.

Take one step forward, she trips, the guards throw the lights on, the wind blows the blanket away and she gets captured.

Over and over.

I gave up in frustration - I'm ten minutes into the game at this point, with a further five minutes of being stuck on this "puzzle", and search for a walkthrough.

Turns out that above the light switch is a spider. I'd seen the spider in previous scenes, but there was nothing you could do with him.

However, NOW he's clickable (not that there's anything to indicate this); his relative size is that of a tap-target on a full-screen mobile ad, and clicking on him will turn the lights off, and all the guards plummet to their death.

Obviously.

Unlike last night with Tales of the Neon Sea's artwork to draw me in, TSIOQUE doesn't even offer that. Do I want to keep playing?:

1: Nope

#TSIOQUE #HandDrawn #PointAndClick #Adventure #Gaming #Project365ONG #Project365 #NewPlay

November 1, 2023 - Day 305 - NewPlay Review
Total NewPlays: 324

Game: Cryptark

Platform: Steam
Release Date: Jun 21, 2017
Installation Date: Oct 21, 2023
Unplayed: 11d
Playtime: 21m

Cryptark is a 2D pixel-art roguelike sci-fi shooter.

You're the away team in a salvage crew, in which you enter procedurally generated ships, destroy armed defences to make your way to the AI brain controlling each ship, within a time limit.

Your attack-suit-mech is heavily armed, and you'll pick up various upgrades along the way.

It's apparently a twin-stick as well, but I played with mouse and keyboard.

I'm pretty wiped out, but even so, it's another of those games that if I was in the right mood I might take another shot at it.

Cryptark is:

3: OK

#Cryptark #2D #PixelArt #Roguelike #Shooter #Gaming #Project365ONG #Project365 #NewPlay

November 2, 2023 - Day 306 - NewPlay Review
Total NewPlays: 325

Game: Warhammer: Chaosbane

Platform: Steam
Release Date: May 31, 2019
Installation Date: Oct 21, 2023
Unplayed: 12d
Playtime: 24m

Warhammer: Chaosbane is an isometric fantasy hack-and-slash ARPG set in the Warhammer universe.

It answers the question "What if Wish.com Diablo III was given a Warhammer paint job?"

It seems perfectly serviceable, but unless you're a big Warhammer fan, if you already own Diablo III (or Diablo IV), may as well just play them.

Warhammer: Chaosbane is:

3: OK

#WarhammerChaosbane #Isometric #Fantasy #ARPG #HackAndSlash #Gaming #Project365ONG #Project365 #NewPlay

November 3, 2023 - Day 307 - NewPlay Review
Total NewPlays: 326

Game: Disney Speedstorm

Platform: Steam
Release Date: Sep 29, 2023 (F2P)
Installation Date: Sep 30, 2023
Unplayed: 34d (1m4d)
Playtime: 16m

Mickey Kart ... oops; of course, I mean Disney Speedstorm, is a free-to-play Disney Pixar themed kart-racing game.

The tracks in the game are themed on various Disney & Pixar properties, with the ability to play as various Disney Pixar characters.

The karts handle fine, it basically feels like a Disney version of Mario Kart, with added lootboxes, and microtransactions.

If you're a Disney fan looking for a F2P kart racer, this is:

3: OK

#DisneySpeedstorm #KartRacing #Gaming #Project365ONG #Project365 #NewPlay

November 4, 2023 - Day 308 - NewPlay Review
Total NewPlays: 327

Game: Little Man Has a Day

Platform: Steam
Release Date: Aug 17, 2023
Installation Date: Aug 21, 2023
Unplayed: 75d (2m14d)
Playtime: 30m

Little Man Has a Day is a 2.5D walking simulator about a little man having a day.

With hand drawn graphics, this game is a deeply complex and cerebral exploration of what it means to be human.

Well, as deeply complex as one can get in 13 minutes. Because that's how long it took me to finish the game. The only reason I have 30 minutes above is that I went back to get the rest of the achievements.

As "Little Man" you wake up and you're having an "eh" day. You explore the map, and meet a handful of characters, and write about it in your journal.

Little Man Has a Day is free on Steam and it's:

3: OK

#LittleManHasADay #WalkingSimulator #Gaming #Project365ONG #Project365 #NewPlay

November 5, 2023 - Day 309 - NewPlay Review
Total NewPlays: 328

Game: Minoria

Platform: Steam
Release Date: Aug 27, 2019
Installation Date: Oct 21, 2023
Unplayed: 15d
Playtime: 19m

Minoria is 2D Metroidvania about nuns vs witches.

The game is set in the middle ages, with the character designs being vaguely anime-styled.

Attacks are telegraphed by a glowing circle that appears around mobs, yet I still managed to die a lot.

Unfortunately for this game, I've played some excellent Metroidvanias this year which resulted in Minoria just feeling pretty:

2: Meh

#Minoria #2D #Metroidvania #Gaming #Project365ONG #Project365 #NewPlay

November 6, 2023 - Day 310 - NewPlay Review
Total NewPlays: 329

Game: Anno 1800

Platform: Ubisoft Connect
Release Date: Apr 17, 2019
Installation Date: Nov 6, 2023
Unplayed: 0d
Playtime: 2h20m

Anno 1800 is a 3D real-time strategy city-builder, set in the 19th Century.

I bought it today.

"But Allie, you have too many games. You have new ones coming on Wednesday morning in the November Humble Bundle! Why would you buy a new game?"

Ubisoft had a free weekend, and I made the mistake of installing it. Then playing it. Had I not played it (wouldn't be the first time I installed a game on a free weekend and forgot to play it), I wouldn't have encountered an antagonist so eminently punchable (Edvard Goode) that I wanted to keep playing solely to grind his company into dust.

With a 20% discount on top of the already discounted price through Ubisoft taking it to a historical low of AUD$17.99, it was almost impossible to say "no".

In terms of actual gameplay, it hooked me early, and I was suddenly staring at an in-game popup that said "It's been two hours, how about a cup of coffee."

Anno 1800 is:

4: Good

#Anno1800 #CityBuilder #RealTimeStrategy #Gaming #Project365ONG #Project365 #NewPlay

November 7, 2023 - Day 311 - NewPlay Review
Total NewPlays: 330

Game: Townsmen - A Kingdom Rebuilt

Platform: Steam
Release Date: Feb 27, 2019
Installation Date: Oct 21, 2023
Unplayed: 17d
Playtime: 25m

Townsmen - A Kingdom Rebuilt is an isometric real-time strategy city-builder, with a medieval setting.

I got a whole bunch of games on the 21st of October. I was talking with my son about how I'd skipped a couple of months of Humble Choice in the past few years, and he gave me most of the games I was missing (because he didn't want them).

Included in those games was Townsmen - A Kingdom Rebuilt; this review could also be "A tale of two city-builders".

The graphics in Townsmen are quite cute, and it makes Townsmen look like it could be a lot of fun.

Unfortunately, that's the best part of this game, because the actual gameplay is incredibly frustrating.

As an aside, in-game grammar and spelling mistakes immediately break my concentration. One typo is an oversight. Multiple typos and grammar errors sets my teeth on edge. This was not a good start for Townsmen.

The biggest issue I had with Townsmen is that it's less a city-building sim, and more of a city-micromanagement sim. I want to build buildings. I don't want to have to go to each building independently and assign and unassign workers (particularly in early game).

Buildings also degrade over time, and can catch on fire if they degrade too much. How do you know? Apparently they start to change colour. So now I have to remember to look at each building individually to see if it's changed colour and might need repairs. To repair a building, click on it to bring up the building interface. Click on a drop-down menu, and choose "Repair Building". Actually, this building is normally that colour, and doesn't need repairs. Like I said, micromanagement.

The tutorial levels give tasks, and give optional tasks, and would intermittently stop everything to remind me to complete the task I was *working* on.

"You need more wood, build another sawmill. You need another worker to build the sawmill. Build a new townhouse. You need more wood for the townhouse."

So I'm going around pulling workers from other jobs to put them on different jobs so I can complete the jobs to complete the tasks, which you've just paused the entire game to remind me to complete.

Anno 1800 hooked me so deeply that it was a case of "two hours already?", where this had me checking the clock repeatedly.

It's not just that it suffers in comparison to Anno 1800, compared to all of the other citybuilders I've played this year, Townsmen - A Kingdom Rebuilt is:

2: Meh

#TownsmenAKingdomRebuilt #CityBuilder #RealTimeStrategy #Gaming #Project365ONG #Project365 #NewPlay

November 8, 2023 - Day 312 - NewPlay Review
Total NewPlays: 331

Game: Almost There: The Platformer

Platform: Steam
Release Date: Feb 19, 2019
Installation Date: Sep 7, 2019
Unplayed: 1523d (4y2m1d)
Playtime: 15m

Almost There: The Platformer is a minimalist 2D platformer.

This game takes everything I hate about platforming games and distils it down into a pure essence: Eau de Platform.

This game makes Celeste feel like a relaxing walk in the hills. Celeste made me want to at least keep trying before giving up in frustration. This made me look up at the clock every thirty seconds wishing for sweet release from my self-imposed straitjacket.

"Almost There" was what I whispered to myself as the clock slowly, painfully ground towards the 15 minute mark.

Almost There requires pinpoint precision to do... well, everything. Beat the timers on each level to get three stars. Land on the tiny platforms. Beat the pointy insta-kill moving spikes. Wall jump to avoid the lasers. Avoid the moving lasers.

The dev describes it as being "designed specifically for fans of the hardcore platforming genre" and playing this made me wish WWE 2K23 *had* finished downloading tonight.

To be clear, this game is not a bad game. This is a game that exists to mock me; a game that exists to remind me that it doesn't matter how hard I try, there are some games that will never be "for" me. That's OK with me.

I hate this game. This is a game that does exactly what it says on the tin, but a game that I will never be able to enjoy.

For lovers of hand-eye co-ordination, this may be the peak of platforming experience, but for me, Almost There: The Platformer is a solid:

1: Nope

#AlmostThereThePlatformer #2D #Minimalist #Platformer #Gaming #Project365ONG #Project365 #NewPlay

November 9, 2023 - Day 313 - NewPlay Review
Total NewPlays: 332

Game: WWE 2K23

Platform: Steam
Release Date: Mar 17, 2023
Installation Date: Nov 9, 2023
Unplayed: 0d
Playtime: 51m

WWE 2K23 is a pro wrestling sports sim. It's game #2 in the November Humble Choice bundle.

I am not a sports fan; my wife passionately fills that role in our relationship. I'll occasionally watch a game with her, but sports just don't do anything for me.

Then there's professional wrestling. Not only do I not see the appeal, I find it actively repellent. The showboating aggressive and sweaty men give off the same vibe as the boys who used to bully me aggressively and incessantly at school.

There are few sports I want to know less about than pro wrestling, which puts playing a game like WWE 2K23 somewhere south of playing an F1 game, and almost at survival/escape horror levels.

Although, to be honest, I once went on a hyperfocus bender on the performance side of pro-wrestling, so I know what a heel turn and face turn are, but the sports side? I was even LESS interested in knowing more.

I was fully prepared to dislike this game. I WANTED to dislike this game. I figured I'd get in, play 15 minutes and get out, have a little rant about it, and free up 80 gigs of precious SSD space.

I loaded it up. The game aggressively loading up on the wrong monitor helped. Forcing me straight into a tutorial without first letting me adjust the settings? Pump it into my veins. Hiding the settings menu somewhere other than the options menu? Just trying to get it working has eaten up a good chunk of my 15 minutes. I'm ready to rant.

However, it's not a fair review of *the game*, so into the tutorial with some guy named Xavier Woods, who's part of "The New Day". Already learning things I don't want to know.

Xavier tells me that I need to train so that one day I can face off against John Cena. The tutorial walks me through the various moves, and combos, and it takes me a bit over 15 minutes to complete.

There are a LOT of moves to remember. At least now I can give it a fair review... except it's straight into a Wrestlemania ring. Xavier is now dressed in pink and yellow spandex, and is going up against his first opponent...

John Cena. Apparently. I can't see him, but I know he's there (sorry, not sorry).

"One day" is today. I'm wrestling John Cena. I can remember *some* of the moves from the tutorial. I'm... oh no...

...I'm enjoying this.

I'm playing WWE 2K23, and I'm having fun. I beat John Cena.

I BEAT JOHN CENA.

I put down the controller. My hands are aching.

I just had fun.

Playing a pro-wrestling sim.

Who even am I now?

I'm not about to sit down and watch WWE any time soon, but I'm not getting that 80Gb of SSD space back, either.

For a game that I was prepared to dislike SO much, I can't quite believe the words I'm about to write: WWE 2K23 is actually really:

4: Good

#WWE2K23 #ProWrestling #Sports #Sim #HumbleChoice #Gaming #Project365ONG #Project365 #NewPlay

November 10, 2023 - Day 314 - NewPlay Review
Total NewPlays: 333

Game: Friends vs Friends

Platform: Steam
Release Date: May 30, 2023
Installation Date: Nov 10, 2023
Unplayed: 0d
Playtime: 16m

Friends vs Friends is a combination multiplayer PVP FPS and deckbuilder.

Those two things go together like chocolate ice cream and nachos; I like both of those things, but not in the same bowl.

It's the fourth game in this month's Humble Choice bundle, and is reinforcing my theory that some devs are trying use the bundle to juice their player base to try and reach critical mass.

The opening of this game took me by surprise. I do not remember another game that has a fully animated theme song intro.

For a moment I was genuinely wondering whether this was a cartoon of some kind, because it feels just like the opening to a 90's Saturday morning cartoon.

The theme song alerted me to the fact it was a deckbuilder, but not that it was also a FPS, so when I found myself staring at a cel-shaded 3D environment, and while the environmental design and character designs were well done, I was at a loss as to what to do next.

I wandered around hoping that I'd trigger some kind of tutorial, some idea of how to play the game... nothing.

I found a shop, and guns I could try out, but no idea how to obtain them. I couldn't work out how to start a match, and I didn't want to start a match without knowing how to play.

Eventually I gave up, and started a 1v1 quickmatch; I muddled my way through, winning 1 out of 5 matches. I tried a 2v2 match with bots, in which my "team" lost both times.

Turns out, the guns are cards in your deck, you win matches, get cash, use the cash to buy new cards, build a new deck (or upgrade the old one).

After the 2v2 match, I spotted a question mark icon tucked away in the bottom right hand corner of the screen, which on a 3440x1440 screen wasn't exactly obvious, and it contained a set of instructions for how to play the game.

For me there are few issues with the game; the first one is in the title. It's a game that would probably work best with 1 or 3 friends (multiplayer options are 1v1 or 2v2).

With everyone either in the same room in a LAN game, or all on voicechat together, this could be amusing, because some of the card effects were amusing. Playing against randoms? No-one to laugh with.

Some cards were confusing "If I play this, does it affect me or the opponent?" No idea, even after playing it...

...because it's a PVP FPS. The pace of the game means it either feels like nothing is happening, or feels like everything is happening, as I'm trying to shoot, and look at my deck, and not get shot, and pick out a card, and I'm dead.

Unfortunately, Friends vs Friends feels like it had potential, but it all ended up just a bit:

2: Meh

#FriendsVsFriends #PVP #FPS #Deckbuilder #HumbleChoice #Gaming #Project365ONG #Project365 #NewPlay

November 11, 2023 - Day 315 - NewPlay Review
Total NewPlays: 334

Game: Prodeus

Platform: Steam
Release Date: Sep 24, 2022
Installation Date: Nov 11, 2023
Unplayed: 0d
Playtime: 28m

Prodeus is a post-modern retro FPS, and is number 5 in this month's Humble Choice bundle.

Some time in 1994, a 20yo sat down in front of a friend's PC, as the friend said "You have to see this!" and fired up a new game his dad had downloaded.

I was stunned. The same computer we'd played Captain Keen & Wolfenstein 3D was showing a true 3D environment first-person shooter (even IF the mobs were bitmaps).

But it wasn't just the visuals. It was the sound. The cheap speakers plugged into the SoundBlaster were emitting snarls and growls, that felt like they were just about to burst in and kill us, and all of my hairs stood on end.

I'd never experienced anything like it. I was watching him play Doom.

I've lost count of the number of FPS's I've played since. Tens of thousands of digital opponents have been blasted into pixels in all kinds of environments, and it's rare now to get a chill playing a FPS.

Yet firing up Doom (or Doom 2), and hearing those snarls & growls can still give me chills, and in spite of having them installed, I don't play them.

When I played Doom Eternal for the first time, it felt like they'd captured the spirit of Doom, with all the advances of modern tech. It was fun, but it didn't feel like that moment in 1994.

Prodeus has all the little Doom-like touches; armor shards & health bottles, exploding barrels, secrets stashed here and there, but with added up & down mouse camera movement.

However, that could still describe countless boomer shooters; the difference is that Prodeus has somehow managed to capture the *atmosphere* of Doom, in a way that I can't remember experiencing in a very long time.

I felt like I was playing a true spiritual successor to Doom, and that's tough to pull off.

But technology is not the only thing that's changed in the last almost-30 years. I've lived through some real-life horror. The mix of adrenaline and fear, that rush that I got from playing Doom in 1994, it hits differently now.

Reaching the end of the first level, seeing that Doom-like end-screen didn't give me a rush of excitement, just a sense of relief. My jaw and my shoulders are tight and sore. My body reacts in a different way.

This was a hard review to write. It's taken me almost three times as long to write as I spent playing.

These reviews are primarily about my feelings towards a game, and whether I want to play it again, and Prodeus is difficult.

As a game, it deserves an "excellent", but as I game that I'll play again? I don't know. As I wrote earlier, I have Doom and Doom II installed on Steam (and Doom 3). I have less than two hours playtime across all three games.

Prodeus' 1.29Gb install can stay on my SSD, because it's:

4: Good

#Prodeus #FPS #Retro #BoomerShooter #HumbleChoice #Gaming #Project365ONG #Project365 #NewPlay

November 12, 2023 - Day 316 - NewPlay Review
Total NewPlays: 335

Game: The Legend of Tianding

Platform: Steam
Release Date: Nov 2, 2021
Installation Date: Nov 12, 2023
Unplayed: 0d
Playtime: 21m

Game number 6 in the November Humble Choice bundle is The Legend of Tianding.

This is a 2.5D side-scrolling beat-em-up platformer, which is based on a Flash game from 2004. Both games are based on the life of a real Taiwanese outlaw during the early 20th century.

It was a bit of a frustrating start. The game doesn't support ultra-wide screen, and instead of letterboxing, stretches 2560x1440 to 3440x1440.

The graphics are done in a comic-book style, which is well done, but other than that, it's a perfectly functional beat-em-up.

The Legend of Tianding is:

3: OK

#TheLegendOfTianding #BeatEmUp #SideScrolling #Platformer #HumbleChoice #Gaming #Project365ONG #Project365 #NewPlay

November 13, 2023 - Day 317 - NewPlay Review
Total NewPlays: 336

Game: SCP: Secret Files

Platform: Steam
Release Date: Sep 14, 2022
Installation Date: Nov 13, 2023
Unplayed: 0d
Playtime: 56m

SCP: Secret Files is an odd game that's based around SCP (which stands for "Secure. Control. Protect."), and is a collaborative story writing wiki about paranormal anomalies.

I'm not going to try and explain SCP beyond that; you either know what SCP is, or you don't, and if you know what SCP is, you either know if it's a "you" thing, or if it isn't.

I know what SCP is, and it's not a thing that grabs me. In SCP: Secret Files, you find yourself as a new recruit in SCP, (the organisation that the SCP wiki is ostensibly about), and working through SCP "casefiles".

I played through 51 minutes of this game because I wanted to see how the first story ended (one of several different stories within the game), and it was somewhat disappointing.

SCP: Secret Files?

1: Nope

#SCPSecretFiles #SCP #HumbleChoice #Gaming #Project365ONG #Project365 #NewPlay

November 14, 2023 - Day 318 - NewPlay Review
Total NewPlays: 337

Game: SCP: Secret Files

Platform: Steam
Release Date: Jun 2, 2022
Installation Date: Nov 14, 2023
Unplayed: 0d
Playtime: 20m

Souldiers is a 2D pixel-art Metroidvania Soulslike platformer, and the last of this months unplayed Humble Choice bundle games.

It has a fantasy setting, which involves being saved from death due to machinations within the kingdom by a Valkyrie only to have to fight in the land that you're taken to, and I didn't get much further than that in 20 minutes.

The devs have put a lot of thought and effort into the backstory, but it's not one that grabs me.

Once again, I'm staring at a fairly average Metroidvania in a year when I've played such excellent Metroidvanias and Soulslike platformers, that a game really needs to bring something different to the table to grab me.

Unfortunately, Souldiers didn't, and it's just kind of:

2: Meh

#Souldiers #2D #Metroidvania #Soulslike #Platformer #HumbleChoice #Gaming #Project365ONG #Project365 #NewPlay

November 14, 2023 - Day 318 - RePlay Review
Total RePlays: 10

Game: Hardspace: Shipbreaker
Platform: Steam
Release Date: May 26, 2022
Library Date: Jun 20, 2021

Playtime: 59h20m

Hardspace: Shipbreaker is the first game in this month's Humble Choice bundle, and on the short list of games that I've completed - on July 24, 2022.

Also, you may note that the "Library Date" predates the "Release Date", and this is not a typo.

It was released in Early Access in 2022, and I did not once regret buying it.

Hardspace: Shipbreaker is a 6DOF first-person action-adventure sim, in which you play a blue collar space worker, who has signed up to work with Lynx Corporation as a ship breaker.

Living in space, it's your job to dismantle, sort, and destroy, recycle, or recover, all the parts of junked spaceships.

There's just a small catch. While you can make good money ship breaking, Lynx Corporation uses cloning technology, and when you sign up with them, they own you and your DNA until your pay out the billion credit debt you incurred in training.

Ship breaking is a dangerous job, with a lot of risks; for instance, one of the big ones is death.

But that's OK; if you die, Lynx will just reconstitute you, and you get to keep on working. The cost of the reconstitution is added to your debt, so no biggie, right?

The actual mechanics of breaking up the ship involve a ruggedised spacesuit, a tether tool, and a laser cutter.

The procedurally generated ships become increasingly complex, with new dangers involved as you level up.

Each ship floats in an orbiting salvage yard with a furnace & salvage bay on both the left and right hand sides of the yard, and a recovery barge below.

You use the laser cutter to break up the ship, and the tether tool to either send recoverable whole objects to the barge, recyclable materials to the salvage bay, and junk to the furnace.

You're paid on the basis of how much usable material you recover from each ship, as well as earning "Lynx Credits" that you can use to upgrade your tools and skills.

It's a surprising amount of fun cutting up a ship, and tethering all the recyclable parts together and firing them off to the salvage bay.

As long as you don't get too close, and get recovered too, because... yeah, I died that way. A few times.

The whole thing is set to a soundtrack that wouldn't be out of place in an episode of Firefly; in some ways, the whole game has a bit of that vibe.

Hardspace: Shipbreaker isn't just a game, it's a game with an excellent narrative that has lot to say about capitalism, corporate exploitation labour abuses, and unionism.

I genuinely love this game, and it's up there with Firewatch as one of my favourite games.

It's worth buying this month's bundle JUST for this game, because Hardspace: Shipbreaker is:

5: Excellent

#HardspaceShipbreaker #6DOF #FirstPerson #ActionAdventure #HumbleChoice #MastodonGaming #Gaming #Project365ONG #Project365 #RePlay

November 14, 2023 - Day 318 - RePlay Review
Total RePlays: 10

Game: Unpacking
Platform: Steam
Release Date: Nov 2, 2021
Library Date: Nov 23, 2022

Playtime: 7h17m*

Unpacking is the third game in this month's Humble Choice bundle, and another one on the short list of games that I've completed; this one on December 30th, 2021

My time played in Steam, however, is 0h 0m.

Unpacking is also available on Xbox Game Pass for PC, which is where I played it, and completed it.

Twice.

Unpacking is an utterly lovely, and very chill isometric pixel art puzzle game, that involves unpacking a series of moving boxes, and learning about your life. It's a game about what makes somewhere home.

Each set of puzzles is based around a time in your life, and as you unpack the boxes, you begin to tease out the narrative of your life.

The thing about Unpacking is that to explain it beyond this, risks giving away part of the narrative, and I don't want to do that.

There is so much I love about this game, both for the puzzle, but also for the narrative; those of you who've played it know exactly what I mean.

It's a game that sat with me for a long time after I'd finished it, and I ultimately decided that I want to own a copy, and put some money into the pocket of the (Australian!) devs (Witch Beam, based in Brisbane), so I bought it.

Writing about it like this has just reminded me how much I love it, and I might just need to play it through again. It's another one on my list of favourites, along with Firewatch, Dredge, and Hardspace: Shipbreaker.

Unpacking is the other game it's worth buying this month's bundle for; it too is:

5: Excellent

#Unpacking #Isometric #PixelArt #Narrative #Puzzle #HumbleChoice #MastodonGaming #Gaming #Project365ONG #Project365 #RePlay

November 15, 2023 - Day 319 - NewPlay Review
Total NewPlays: 338

Game: BPM: Bullets Per Minute

Platform: Steam
Release Date: Sep 16, 2020
Installation Date: Nov 15, 2023
Unplayed: 0d
Playtime: 16m

BPM: Bullets Per Minutes is a rhythm-based FPS roguelike. I discovered BPM when I was reading about Metal Hellsinger, and added it to my wishlist.

Joke was on me. Turns out I already owned it.

After the 250Mbps fibre was installed today, I went looking through my unredeemed Steam keys list, and spotted BPM. "Ooooh! I'll install that!"

While this has the same basic concept as Metal Hellsinger, it plays very differently.

Instead of raiding hell, you're a Valkyrie raiding randomly generated Viking-esque dungeons, rendered in an eyewatering, almost monochromatic colour palette.

You also absolutely MUST fire on the beat, or the gun just doesn't fire. Even on easy mode, the mobs hit hard. Each hit does 25% damage.

You walk into a darkened room that may or may not have a wild number of mobs in it, and you run around trying to make out where you're going, and not get hit.

If you're unlucky, there's a boss in the room, who might completely blind you for a moment... and then you're dead.

Ultimately, it was the graphics that killed it for me. I would probably persevere if I could easily make out what I'm shooting at against the backgrounds, but it just becomes too much work, particularly when there are a lot of mobs on screen.

I really wanted to like this game, but unfortunately, BPM: Bullets Per Minute is another:

1: Nope

#BPM #BulletsPerMinute
#FirstPerson #Rhythm #FPS #Roguelike #Gaming #Project365ONG #Project365
#NewPlay

November 16, 2023 - Day 320 - NewPlay Review
Total NewPlays: 339

Game: Homefront: The Revolution

Platform: Steam
Release Date: May 17, 2016
Installation Date: Sep 11, 2022
Unplayed: 431d (1y2m5d)
Playtime: 29m

Homefront: The Revolution is an open-world FPS reboot of 2011's Homefront, a game I reviewed on the 5th of January.

The setting is much the same; a unified Korea has invaded the United States, and you find yourself as a member of the resistance seeking to fight back against a superior military force.

It was only when I started playing it that it started to feel familiar.

Of my 29 minutes playtime, about half of that was just watching things happen on screen.

The biggest problem though is that it's not a game that's aged well. The game mechanics themselves seem totally fine, it's an issue of timing.

Right now, while Israel's government commits war crimes against innocent Palestinians while claiming self defence against Hamas, and the war by Russia against Ukraine continues, and with an ascendent US fascist movement painting themselves as the resistance, this game does not feel like a game.

When I play a game, it's partially to escape from the world, not to remind me of it, and Homefront: The Revolution does exactly that, so it all feels a bit:

2: Meh

#HomefrontTheRevolution #OpenWorld #FPS #Gaming #Project365ONG #Project365
#NewPlay

November 17, 2023 - Day 321 - NewPlay Review
Total NewPlays: 340

Game: I Am Fish

Platform: Steam
Release Date: Sep 16, 2021
Installation Date: Jul 18, 2022
Unplayed: 487d (1y3m30d)
Playtime: 18m

I Am Fish describes itself as a physics-based adventure. It's a game about four fish, in a full 3D environment.

I don't normally talk about the developers behind a game, because I like to take each game on its own merits.

However, I Am Fish has a callback to at least one of Bossa Studios previous games, but also takes a particular gameplay cue from them as well.

In I Am Fish, you start out as a goldfish. The game opens in a bakery, where the baker hands two loaves of very wriggly bread to a customer for free, one of which ends up at a pet store, where you are currently swimming with three friends (a puffer fish, a flying fish, and a piranha).

The bread is wriggly because it's sentient bread, a callback to Bossa Studios' previous game "I Am Bread". When fed to the fish, the bread seemingly makes them far more intelligent, and after your three friends are captured and removed from your tank, you awake the next day in a round, sealable goldfish bowl, and it's time to escape... by rolling your bowl along the handily placed shelves to ground level, and then to freedom.

This is an utterly gorgeous game. The lighting is incredible, the fully realised 3D levels are wonderful, and the music is delightful.

The control scheme was designed by a sadist.

Bossa Studios are also responsible for Surgeon Simulator, and if you've played Surgeon Simulator or I Am Bread, what both of these games have in common with I Am Fish is that the games are designed with the most incredibly frustrating control schemes.

I played -and gave up- on both of these earlier games in sheer frustration. Much like platformers that require pinpoint accuracy, and playing well known guitar licks, I lack the fine motor control necessary to achieve the required goals.

There are games that are designed to reward the most dextrous & skilled players who can build up the required muscle memory to make the right moves at exactly the right time; if a player can't do that, they just become a source of frustration, and even self-recrimination.

It's why I can enjoy Forza Horizon in single player mode, but am left behind in virtually every race in online mode.

It's why I was hostile towards platformers for decades, with everything from Super Mario Bros. to Celeste just winding up my frustration levels until I feel like my brain is melting.

This is also why, as much as I want to play I Am Fish (it's just so beautiful), I probably won't end up persevering much longer, when there are so many other games I can just play and enjoy.

I Am Fish is a gorgeous, frustrating conundrum of a game, that I simultaneously want to give every rating, which averages out to:

3: OK

#IAmFish #3D #Physics #Adventure #Gaming #Project365ONG #Project365
#NewPlay

November 18, 2023 - Day 322 - NewPlay Review
Total NewPlays: 341

Game: Ashes of the Singularity: Escalation

Platform: Steam
Release Date: Nov 11, 2016
Installation Date: May 8, 2020
Unplayed: 1289d (3y6m10d)
Playtime: 24m

Ashes of the Singularity: Escalation is a RTS game, developed by Oxide Games, and published by Stardock Entertainment.

It is a generally serviceable RTS.

I played through the first tutorial, and having completed it, I'm uninstalling the game.

As much as I said yesterday I try not to talk about the devs behind games, I'm talking about the devs for a completely different reason today.

I was surprised to see the Stardock logo pop up, as I don't play games published by Stardock, on principle.

Both Oxide Games and Stardock Entertainment were founded by Brad Wardell; since he happily poured fuel on the GamerGate fire, and was openly supportive of GamerGate, amongst other things, I made the decision not to buy or play any of his games.

Since I'd already started up the game, figured I'd still give it an honest review (as a game, it's OK), but will I play Ashes of the Singularity: Escalation again?

1: Nope

#AshesOfTheSingularityEscalation #RTS #Gaming #Project365ONG #Project365
#NewPlay

November 19, 2023 - Day 323 - NewPlay Review
Total NewPlays: 342

Game: Injustice 2

Platform: Steam
Release Date: Nov 15, 2017
Installation Date: Mar 18, 2023
Unplayed: 246d (8m1d)
Playtime: 32m

Injustice 2 is a 3Dish beat-em-up fighting game, and a sequel to Injustice: Gods Among Us.

Fighting games aren't really my go-to, because it comes back to that same issue of fine motion control and hand-eye coordination. I'd made two serious attempts to play Injustice: Gods Among Us, and failed miserably both times.

However, after playing & reviewing SOULCALIBUR VI on January 2nd, I gave Injustice a third go, and it clicked.

Still not really my go-to, and I haven't played either game since January.

In March, Injustice 2 popped up for AUD$7, and I figured it was worth a shot.

I finally took that shot.

It was not worth a shot.

I did not get off to a good start. My first attempt involved me taking a run at the tutorial in a game that insisted it had "Full Xbox One controller support" (as did Steam), and then consistently showed a PS4 controller on-screen, and showing the wrong buttons for combos.

After fiddling with the controller mapping, I quit the game, hit the forums, enabled Steam input, and finally had a working controller.

I stormed through the first part of the tutorial until I hit the combos, where I finally got stuck for five minutes just trying to get the timing and pattern right on a particular combo.

I'd probably need to go back and have yet another go at Injustice to see if there's a difference, but fundamentally, I am completely unable to time the combo moves correctly to even complete the tutorial.

After almost half an hour, my hands were sore, I was making zero progress, and the only thing I had to show for it was frustration.

It's a good looking game, and if you're a big DC fan and good at fighting games, this might be right up your alley.

Unfortunately, Injustice 2 was a waste of seven bucks, and 45Gb of SSD space; it's yet another:

1: Nope

#Injustice2 #BeatEmUp #Gaming #Project365ONG #Project365 #NewPlay

November 20, 2023 - Day 324 - NewPlay Review
Total NewPlays: 343

Game: Red Faction: Guerrilla Re-Mars-tered

Platform: Steam
Release Date: Jul 4, 2018
Installation Date: Jun 29, 2019
Unplayed: 1605d (4y4m22d)
Playtime: 26m

Red Faction: Guerrilla Re-Mars-tered is a third-person shooter built with a physics-based destructible environment.

Set on a partially terraformed Mars, it's a remaster of Red Faction: Guerrilla from 2009 (thus the awful pun in the name), and essentially answers the question "What if Just Cause was set on Mars, and you had a sledgehammer instead of a grapple?"

While the destructible environments are fun, for a five year old game, that was released three years AFTER Just Cause 3, the graphics make it feel like it's three years older.

I wouldn't pay full price for it at this point, but if you're looking for some Mars-based destructive mayhem, Red Faction: Guerrilla Re-Mars-tered is:

3: OK

#RedFactionGuerillaReMarsTered #ThirdPerson #Shooter #Gaming #Project365ONG #Project365 #NewPlay

November 21, 2023 - Day 325 - NewPlay Review
Total NewPlays: 344

Game: Starpoint Gemini Warlords

Platform: Steam
Release Date: May 24, 2017
Installation Date: Aug 15, 2022
Unplayed: 463d (1y3m6d)
Playtime: 20m

Starpoint Gemini Warlords is part third-person space combat, part 4X strategy, and part RPG.

I'm unable to review the 4X strategy & RPG elements, because I couldn't get past the utterly dire ship controls.

Going into the game blank, I had no idea it had space combat elements, which is pretty much "OK, joystick time".

I tried using the keyboard controls, and the ship handled like a stoned snail. Switched over to the Xbox controller, and that was actually worse, because while the ship still seemed to be handling like a stoned snail with the left stick, the right stick had the camera whipping around like a hummingbird on speed.

I went into the options to try and see if I could adjust the settings, and with the controller turned on, it just completely blacked out the options, so it's buggy too.

After 15 minutes of fighting with the game to try and get it to the point it was somewhat playable, I pulled the pin.

There might be a reasonable game buried under all that hassle, but am I going to put any more time into Starpoint Gemini Warlords to try and find it?

1: Nope

#StarpointGeminiWarlords #ThirdPerson #SpaceCombat #4X #Strategy #RPG #Gaming #Project365ONG #Project365 #NewPlay

November 22, 2023 - Day 326 - NewPlay Review
Total NewPlays: 345

Game: Internet Cafe Simulator

Platform: Steam
Release Date: Oct 26, 2019
Installation Date: Aug 17, 2022
Unplayed: 462d (1y3m5d)
Playtime: 26m

Internet Cafe Simulator is a first person internet cafe simulator. I wanted to play something simple and fun tonight. Unfortunately, I chose this.

I said last week that only a few of my reviews that get a rating of "Nope" are games that are actually bad games.

*Spoiler Alert*: Today that list increases by one.

This is a bad game. The only reason I didn't pull the pin at the 15 minute mark was because I was still trying to assemble my first internet cafe "desktop".

I thought maybe it would improve once my internet cafe was open.

Unfortunately the same care & concern that was shown in the UI & UX extends to the gameplay as well.

There is nothing even remotely approaching a tutorial. You wake up in an apartment, which you're told you've rented, with $10K in your account, and two floating signposts. One to your new internet cafe, and the other to a strip club.

There's a giant hunger bar taking up half the screen, but no directions on where to buy food.

It seems that all of the complex design work in the game went into building a working strip club.

Go to your new premises, pick up a broom, sweep all of the copy-pasted garbage off the floor, sit at the computer and buy everything you need to put together your first desktop.

Almost everything in the game is some renamed real-world item, not in an amusing Car Mechanic Simulator way, more in a "badly-ripped-off-IP" way.

All of the parts show up in a series of identically sized boxes outside your front door. Not that there's anything to explain that.

I stumbled across them. Pick up each box, carry it inside, drop it to open it, pick up the item inside, try and manoeuvre it into place, rinse and repeat until you've assembled your first desktop, and oh, it's after midnight, so no customers until tomorrow.

Go home, sleep, come back, open up, customer comes in, goes to computer, sits down, sends IM that says "Waterr. Thirsty. Waterrrrr."

I have no clue where the water is, and I'm not going looking.

Every single gameplay element feels like it was slapped together from whatever free assets the dev found in the Unity IDE, and wrapped around a single idea, but then couldn't work out how to market "Strip Club Simulator", so threw in an internet cafe as an afterthought.

I'm about to free up 4Gb of SSD space, because Internet Cafe Simulator is an unequivocable:

1: Nope

#InternetCafeSimulator #Gaming #Project365ONG #Project365 #NewPlay

November 23, 2023 - Day 327 - NewPlay Review
Total NewPlays: 346

Game: Soundfall

Platform: Steam
Release Date: May 12, 2022
Installation Date: Nov 11, 2023
Unplayed: 12d
Playtime: 16m

Soundfall is part rhythm-based top-down dungeon-crawler, part looter-shooter.

So far, one level in, this musical odyssey feels like a dungeon-crawler in name only. So far the dungeons are brightly-coloured floating islands, adorned with equalizer level bars rising and falling in time with the ear-wormish pop soundtrack.

Existing in a third space between Hi-Fi Rush and Metal Hellsinger, this is an interesting take on a rhythm game, and the only reason I'm writing a review instead of continuing to play is that it's been a tough day, and I can barely keep my eyes open.

The only issue I have with the game is that in spite of having previously needed to calibrate my video and audio latency for other rhythm games, the calibration tool in Soundfall insists my calibration requirements for both are 0ms.

I think it's this that left me feeling like I was constantly slightly off-beat, just enough that it didn't feel quite right.

Even so, Soundfall is already fun, and I'll happily say it's:

4: Good

#Soundfall #TopDown #Rhythm #DungeonCrawler #LooterShooter #Gaming #Project365ONG #Project365 #NewPlay

November 24, 2023 - Day 328 - NewPlay Review
Total NewPlays: 347

Game: Danger Scavenger

Platform: Steam
Release Date: Mar 26, 2021
Installation Date: Oct 21, 2023
Unplayed: 34d (1m3d)
Playtime: 18m

Danger Scavenger is a cyberpunk-themed isometric twin-stick roguelite crawler set on top of a series of skyscrapers.

Pick from one of four archetypes, pick a start weapon, make your way across the rooftops, shooting objects for parts, killing robots, collecting cases, and weapons, and trying not to fall off the side of the skyscraper.

It's relatively easy to write about games I don't like, or games I do like, but after playing it last night, I've struggled all day to write anything about this game.

Danger Scavenger is:

2: Meh

#DangerScavenger #Isometric #Roguelite #Crawler #Gaming #Project365ONG #Project365 #NewPlay

November 25, 2023 - Day 329 - NewPlay Review
Total NewPlays: 348

Game: DeadPoly

Platform: Steam
Release Date: Jan 13, 2022
Installation Date: Oct 23, 2023
Unplayed: 2d
Playtime: 47m

DeadPoly is a polygon-based zombie survival looter-shooter.

It's in early access; the dev seems quite active, but has recently rebuilt the entire game.

I don't want to judge it too harshly, because it has just been completely rebuilt, and the dev is working solo.

The bones of an interesting zombie survival game are there, and even with that it managed to keep me interested for 40-odd minutes.

DeadPoly is:

3: OK

#DeadPoly #Polygon #Survival #LooterShooter #Gaming #Project365ONG #Project365 #NewPlay

November 26, 2023 - Day 330 - NewPlay Review
Total NewPlays: 349

Game: Monster Racing League

Platform: Steam
Release Date: Mar 24, 2023
Installation Date: Jun 28, 2023
Unplayed: 151d (4m2d)
Playtime: 17m

Monster Racing League bills itself as a "multiplayer combat racing game where you don't have to steer."

The drivers are cartoon monsters, with an almost generic Unreal Engine cartoon-feel, which is why the game built in Unity was a surprise.

Unfortunately, that wasn't the only surprise. Turns out that you do, in fact, have to steer, after a fashion. You just don't need to accelerate and brake. While the game is 3D, it uses a semi-fixed side-on camera angle, which makes the races and targeting weapons somewhat frustrating.

It's Free-to-Play, and like every other F2P game includes a battle pass, but with the frustrating race mechanics (a "well-timed" missile will not only knock you off the track, it will immediately drop you from first to last position, which little chance to regain any ground), the generic design of the monsters and cars, offers virtually no reason to keep playing.

While the blurb bills Monster Racing League as "non-stop fun", which is an odd assertion, because for fun to be non-stop, it would first have to start. I'll soon recover 3Gb of HDD space, because it's a:

1: Nope

#MonsterRacingLeague #Combat #Racing #Gaming #Project365ONG #Project365 #NewPlay

November 27, 2023 - Day 331 - NewPlay Review
Total NewPlays: 350

Game: Warstride Challenges

Platform: Steam
Release Date: Sep 8, 2023
Installation Date: May 19, 2022
Unplayed: 557d (1y6m8d)
Playtime: 23m (31m total)

Warstride Challenges feels like Doom, Neon White, and a 3D platformer were thrown into a blender with Warframe.

If you haven't played Warframe, there are times where the gameplay can become almost impossibly fast. There are certain warframes that, when grouped with other warframes, almost become uncontrollable.

Meet Warstride Challenges. It's kind-of an FPS using that kind of speed to speedrun levels, with the kind of platforms that require almost pinpoint precision, and then shoot demons, all while competing against a timer to earn medals.

Each level has (n) demons to kill before the door unlocks at the end of the level, with a series of goal times to achieve. The faster you hit that door, the higher the level of the medals you get.

As the game progresses, you need to collect (n) medals to unlock higher levels. However, as you progress, you also unlock increasingly harder versions of the levels you've already completed, where you can earn more medals, etc.

Time a jump wrong, and you die, and there are many opportunities to die. Miss shooting one of the mobs? No exit, and that run is wasted.

Go again.

After a couple of levels are completed, you also get a limited about of "bullet-time", to slow down for that sweet headshot, but it's not enough.

You can also add other players, either from the worldwide leaderboard, or friends who play, as a "Nemesis", and you find yourself competing against their ghosts.

I'm not quite sure how I came to own this game. I seemingly picked it up in early access. I recalled it being a beta, and I have no receipt for it, yet it's a paid game that I own.

I have mixed feelings about this game. There is definitely something thrilling about beating the timers, and getting higher medals, or nailing the exit door ahead of another player's ghost.

When I played it during early access, I played it for less than 10 minutes before giving up in frustration, but now that it's gone 1.0, I decided to give it another try (thus the 23m vs 31m above).

However, it's a game that's already bringing me up hard against my poor coordination & fine motor skills, which makes completing some levels in time feel more like luck than skill.

And even 6 levels in, with 3 of them also completed on Hard, my frustration levels are already starting to exceed my fun levels.

Still, I think I'll probably end up pushing of a bit further in Warstride Challenges until the balance firmly tips against me, so I'll say it's:

3: OK

#WarstrideChallenges #FPS #Gaming #Project365ONG #Project365 #NewPlay

November 28, 2023 - Day 332 - NewPlay Review
Total NewPlays: 351

Game: Pinball FX

Platform: Steam
Release Date: Apr 13, 2023
Installation Date: Aug 22, 2023
Unplayed: 98d (3m6d)
Playtime: 17m

Pinball FX is a pinball simulator, and is a sequel to Pinball FX3.

Bit of an odd game to be reviewing, but it's literally the only thing I played yesterday, and is my only review option.

Pinball FX uses the razor business model of giving the game away for free, and selling the tables as DLC.

Over time I'd collected quite a few tables in Pinball FX3 (14 hours playtime), but I'd specifically downloaded it for one specific table - The Getaway: High Speed II.

This pinball table is a core memory for me. I spent countless hours and dollars playing the real-world version of The Getaway. Any arcade I entered (or still enter!), I will scan for this machine. Given that it was released in 1992, I'm usually disappointed.

When Pinball FX3 presented the opportunity to be able to play it again, whenever I wanted, I jumped on the opportunity. For what it is, it's great. It's not the same though.

In 2021 the dev team behind Zen Studios announced that they were going to reboot the Pinball FX series in Unreal Engine 4 (with a now-expired exclusivity deal with the Epic Store), and that all future tables would be released on Pinball FX, not Pinball FX3.

Of course, existing tables that were purchased for FX3 do not transfer to Pinball FX, meaning if you want to play your tables in FX, buy them all again, sunshine.

However, they've since made concessions, and you can buy a "bundle" for any owned DLC that provides the FX version of the table at 50% off.

For the Black Friday sales, they heavily discounted all of the DLC, which meant that I was able to upgrade my Getaway table for $2.64.

As for Pinball FX itself? It's good. The interface is a lot cleaner that FX3. The flippers seem feel a little bit... off, but I need to investigate more.

However, what it DOES do properly is ultrawide portrait mode, which was broken in FX3.

Playing Pinball FX3 on a QHD monitor in portrait mode was a revelation (thank you again, @atomicpoet), but it was miserable on an ultrawide in portrait mode.

Pinball FX, however? Being able to see the whole playfield AND part of the cabinet brings a whole new sense of immersion, and enjoyment, and feels as close as I'll get to owning The Getaway (real table? AUD$5500) which makes that $2.64 worth it.

The thing which takes the edge off is the seemingly ever-present microtransactions built into the game. They don't seem to be necessary, and I'll likely continue to ignore them.

Even so, I'm more than happy to declare Pinball FX:

5: Excellent

#PinballFX #Pinball #Simulator #Gaming #Project365ONG #Project365 #NewPlay