#BraceYourselves | #BraceBrace...
A #LongStory in #ManyParts with #MusicalInterludes and #OtherStuff along #TheWay...
#IT will #TakeSomeTime to #PortIT all over from #SpaceKarenX's US$44bn #VanityProject; so, #BearWithMe... 🧸 Or, #Not...
#IT won't #AffectTheOutcome; #IT's #AlreadyHappened...
#IT'll #HappenAgain...
#HoldOn to your #Spoons and #GetYourself #WoolReady...
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#IF (and #IT's a #BIG #IF) we're sitting #Comfortably with our #FavouriteBeverage and #NarcoticsOfChoice within #EasyReach; then, I shall begin...
#TheBFF and I were due to visit some pals in #Glasgow... We'd decided to #JourneyUp from #London #Overnight; #HeadingUp via #Cumbria in the expectation that we'd #JourneyBack via #Northumberland...
#Anywho... I #Stuffed #MyOldJag into a #PetrolStationForecourt in #Preston...
#IKnowRight? It reads a lot worse than it was... There was #ZeroBodyCount; but, the #Jag was #QuitePoorly
#JaguarAssistance were #Great; they put us up in a #LocalHotel overnight and arranged for a #ReplacementVehicle such that we could continue our #Journey in #TheMorning
#ToBeContinued | #FeelFree to #CheckOut #AtAnyPoint...
🧙⚔️🤖🐺🤖⚔️🧙 | 🎈🦹🍪🦄🍪🦹🎈
#PartThree of #Many:
#OfCourse; the #HolidayInn did try to #Sting me for the room; but, were #SwiftlyCorrected and were #GoodEnough not to embarrass themselves further.
The #LoanCar was fine; some #Generic #GM / #Vauxhall #OmegaThing, with lots of #Grey #RuchedLeather and #HorribleVeneers...
And, a #BootSpace #LargeEnough for, #Maybe, 3-4 #Bodies...
#StillWithMe...? #Good; #WellDoneYou...
The #Rest of #TheTrip to and from #Glasgow was #Beautiful, entirely #Uneventful and #NoneOfYourBusiness; though, my pals were #JollyGoodFun and we all had a #Blast, which is also #None of your #Business...
#MyOldJag was #Repatriated and upon #ReturningHome, I was required to #ChopIn the #OmegaThing for another #LoanCar of #EquivalentSpecification
#Unfortunately, the #LoanCarCompany didn't have #AnythingSuitable at #TheTime; so, he "had" to give me a #Fiat: #Cinquecento, and #TheGuy tried #SoHard to #Convince me that it should be #Considered an #EquivalentSpecification...
Is #IT #BiscuitTime, yet...?
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#Apparently, the #BIG #PLUSPoint with the #Fiat: #Cinquecento was that it was the #ArbarthEdition, which meant #TheRoof #CameOff and #Someone had stencilled #Arbarth on the #FrontSpoiler in #CreamCheese, maybe #CorrectionFluid...?
I'll #BeHonest; #IT was #Possibly: #TheGayestThing I've #EverDriven... And, I've #Driven a #LotOfStuff #OverTheYears...
#ToBeContinued #SomeMore... With #Biscuits...
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#PartSe7en of #Many:
#So... It was #AllTheyHad in #Stock; but, they would try to find a #SuitableReplacement #ReplacementVehicle as soon as possible... #ASAP
#MyOldJag was on an #Estimated 12-day #TurnAround for #Repairs; so, it was #NoBiggie #OneWayOrAnother
#MyBuddy remarked that watching me #Exit the #Cinquecento was like watching #Shrek escape from an #EggCup...
#ToBeContinued #SomeMore... With #AnotherBiscuit...
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#PartEight of #Many:
The #InteriorCabin #BuildQuality was #PrettyTerrible and between us, I suspect the car was what happens with #BakedBeanTins when they've been #Bad...
But #Nothing #Handles like a #LoanCar and I was #Determined and #AbsolutelyCommitted to #ThrashingTheNuts off it at every, #EveryOpportunity...
I was pleased to be able to throw the keys back at the #Flunky having left the #Tyres #BarelyLegal and #Smoke emitting from #EverythingElse
And, I was #Rewarded with an #AlternativeReplacement; a #JeepCherokee 6.8-Ltr #V8... #Again, lots of #Nasty #RuchedLeather and #HorribleVeneers; but, #QuitePossibly the #FastestBouncyCastle I've #EverDriven... #AtLeast #OnLand...
#StraightLineGrunt | 🧙⚔️🤖🐺🤖⚔️🧙
#TheresMoreToThisStory; but, I'm going to #SaveIT for #Later...
There'll be #Epilogues; I #GuaranteeIT...
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#Epilogue: #PartOne of #Several
When #MyOldJag was returned #AllShiny and #Sparklez, I called the #LoanCarCompany to let them know to #CollectTheirVehicle...
They got #QuiteHufty and #Insisted I take #Time out of #MyDay to do their #Job for them; #Presumably because they were #Unable to do #TheirOwnJob and "needed" me to #DoIT #Better for them...
And, I'm #ReallyExpensive, #Remember...
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Attached: 3 images @selzero #Agreed... I'm #ReallyExpensive; #IT's my #NaturalDisposition... 🧙⚔️🤖🐺🤖⚔️🧙 | 🚁🚀⛑️🦄⛑️🚀🚁
#Epilogue: #PartTwo of #Several
After 10-minutes of the #Flunky shouting at me #OverThePhone; I agreed to #Mail them #TheKeys by #SecondClassPost with a #VeryBadlyDrawn #TreasureMap of where they could find their #Vehicle...
I never heard from them ever, ever again... #Ever #EverAgain
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#TheresStillMoreToThisStory; but, I'm going to #SaveIT for #Later...
#BTW: #IF you want to #SkipToTheEnd; you can #PopAlong to #SpaceKarenX's US$44bn #VanityProject (at least #ForNow) and #FindOut...
#IT won't #AffectTheOutcome...
#ITHappened and #IT'll #HappenAgain... #Probably; #IT #UsuallyDoes...
In #TheGreatNonHappeningHappening
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#Epilogue: #PartThree of #Several
But, #That's ⬆️🔼🆙🔼⬆️ #NotTheEndOfTheStory...
#TheresMore...
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#Epilogue: #PartFour of #Several
#YouSee... #That was #TheWonderfulThing about #FreedomOfMovement... #AtTheTime...
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#Epilogue: #PartFive of #Several
#MyBuddy and I were #Able to #TankUp a #FewTimes; #Just to #MakeSure that the #CustomerServiceAgents would #AlsoAlso #HaveAnAdventure...
Did #IMention that we #AlsoAlso #Removed a #Couple of #SparkPlugs and #LeftThem on #TheDriversSeat? Along with #Two #BrakeCalipers on #TheFront #NearSide #Seat, and a #PacketOfCrisps #Strewn across #TheRearSeats? | #GeographyIsAFactor
#ThePowerOfCrisps #CompelsYou...
#TrueStory | #IShitYouNot | #SmartCookie
🧙⚔️🤖🐺🤖⚔️🧙 | 🍪🦄🍪
PSiReN-X 
