Charlie Stross
Just hard my flu and covid jabs, but the 5G signal in this railway station mall is very disappointing ...
Oct 6, 2023 at 2:22pmWeb
Show threadHugo MillsOct 6, 2023
@cstross That's because the vaccine is triggering mutations in the 5G signal. Eventually, all you'll be able to get over 5G is the BBC Light programme from 1953.
Show threadCadbury MooseOct 6, 2023
@darkling @cstross Unfair! Can we have the Home Service as well, please (or does a moose need the Shingles vaccine for that)? The Light Programme only broadcast repeats of some of the Goon Shows. 3:O((> Be good to hear "Calling All Workers" (Music while you work) again though. 3:O)>
Show threadSoh Kam YungOct 6, 2023
@cstross Wait till you get home and discover you can operate your IoT devices by thought. 🙂
Show threadWeekend EditorOct 6, 2023

@sohkamyung @cstross

No, no, no. That's backwards.

The IoT devices get to operate YOU.

Show threadHighlandLawyerOct 6, 2023
@weekend_editor @sohkamyung @cstross Depends how secure you are in yourself
Show threadWeekend EditorOct 6, 2023

@HighlandLawyer @sohkamyung @cstross

The security dumpster fire of IoT will be more than adequate to overcome any personal security.

Show threadBinder🅅Oct 6, 2023
@cstross You are probably facing the wrong way... try turning 90 degrees
Show threadFirefighterGeek Oct 6, 2023
@cstross That's what THEY want you to think.
Show threadBashStKidOct 6, 2023
@cstross Because you’re preferentially absorbing all the 5G. Normal service will be resumed once it saturates.

If you don’t like that, maybe the flu shot is a wee bit phase-shifted relative to the covid and causing beat interference?
Show thread😀🚲Oct 6, 2023
@cstross it's supposed to take a while to reach full effect
Show threadJef PoskanzerOct 6, 2023
@cstross The cell service is not for you, it's for your endoparasites.
Show threadBodhipaksaOct 6, 2023
@cstross I'm getting both of those plus the RSV vaccine on Tuesday. I'm hoping I'll be able to post to Mastodon directly from my mind.
Show threadMo Ali | مح عليOct 6, 2023
@cstross just the flu jab, so I'm 2.5G I think..
Show threadFlaming CheetoOct 6, 2023
@cstross helps if you frantically claw at the injection site
Show threadThird FlatironOct 6, 2023
@cstross Hoping to get our shots today at the Safeway, but the lines are long
Show threadSteve HerseyOct 6, 2023
@cstross
And there's serious shortage of edible brains, too.
Show threadSam StrongOct 6, 2023
@cstross Mr Marburg, please may we speak to Mr Stross?
Show threadDopeGhotiOct 7, 2023
@cstross
The 5G nanites need time to recharge after the mind-control test a couple days ago. â€‹
Show threadNefarious CeltOct 7, 2023
@cstross which Covid did you get?
I kid you not, I got the Pfitzer and it left my arm stiff.
Show threadCharlie StrossOct 7, 2023
@NefariousCelt Comirnaty Omicron XBB 1.5 mRNA vaccine, not Pfizer. Some injection site ache after 12 hours.
Show threadNefarious CeltOct 7, 2023
@cstross atypical of all jabs, but why spoil a bad pun.