TheRuminativeRecluse🏳️⚧️Feeling so incredibly low today.
Feeling too much like a friggin boy still.
Feeling flat.
Feeling.
Ugh.
😭
Sorry.
Sorry everyone. I'm spiraling bad. Ofc thank you for your hugs and words l but I just am having a real bad turn right now. I slept all day and going to sleep again, I can't face being awake.
I can't explain it, it's a whole load of things all at once and my head's screaming. Trying to shut out bad thoughts.
So okay, this is difficult to talk about, I haven't self harmed since like 2010. Not like cutting wise anyways, looking after myself and sleep deprivation I guess if you count those I fluctuate on.
I was seriously considering it again, I was and am feeling so tormented and conflicted.
The thing stopping me right now is thinking about losing E from blood loss. I know that sounds silly but that's what's saving me right now.
Estel@TheRuminativeRecluse
I'm sorry, I hope the rest will help.
Spirals really are hell to be in the middle of. You are a wonderful woman.
I'm sorry, I hope the rest will help.
Spirals really are hell to be in the middle of. You are a wonderful woman.
elle 
@TheRuminativeRecluse You're most definitely not a boy; I hope you're able to pull out of the spiral soon. *hugs*
SleepyCatten (Joint Pain Arc)@TheRuminativeRecluse *offers so many empathetic hugs* 
I'm sorry you're feeling this way 😞
It will get better & easier in time. I know that this probably doesn't help for right now, but it is true 
J 🏳️⚧️
Here if you need anything girl. 