a jade by any other nameincoming thoughts about my #Contracelestiae #GenshinImpact AU but first thoughts about a couple songs and thomato
first off, Tie Me Down by Gryffin is #thomato to me from Thoma's POV of being sick of Ayato's pathetic pining bullshit. my Ayato is a little pathetic: he's aware of literally everyone else's emotions except his own, and especially unaware of his romantic feelings. pining ensues. Thoma, on the other hand, is well aware of his feelings, but feels it's a little improper of him to actually make the first move since Ayato is his superior and all.
a lot of the #thomato I write is basically Thoma baiting Ayato into initiating something because Ayato is otherwise too dense and oblivious to his own feelings to actually start anything. god bless Thoma and his godly patience. if Ayato were in his shoes, he probably would've just gone for it (he wouldn't actually)
anyway in my #Contracelestiae AU, Thoma gets PTSD from being in the Fatui and Xingqiu realizes that he can't help him anymore, nor can he rush Thoma through his shock and stress from being taken right out of the Fatui, and wow, it's almost like being a clinical psychology major doesn't actually mean much because he doesn't have the knowledge or qualifications to be helping Thoma more than telling him to see a therapist.
that's not the wrinkle I was thinking about, though, because the real meat of the conversation is trying to figure out what happens to #thomato in this AU because they had just started officially dating when Thoma ended up in the Fatui. Thoma gets PTSD, yes, but what happens to Ayato?
#Contracelestiae
#Contracelestiae
Xingqiu's general idea is that Ayato was very lucky to be blessed with passable coping mechanisms, a good sister, and even better genetics. you'd think this man would have more issues than he already does, but he doesn't, so it seems like whatever illnesses took his parents early didn't affect his psychological state. Thoma, not so much, but this isn't about him this time. Xingqiu doesn't even recommend therapy to Ayato (mostly because he knows that Ayato wouldn't go).
#Contracelestiae
#Contracelestiae
he just offers Ayato another set of coping mechanisms, most notably writing (because not a day will go by without Xingqiu saying that you can quite literally write your problems away), which Ayato is hesitant on at first, but Xingqiu is a stubborn, stubborn man and manages to talk him into writing a little bit. sure, he isn't prepared to see Ayato of people break down crying, but no one ever said healing from a broken heart (among other things) would be painless. far from it.
#Contracelestiae
#Contracelestiae
I think one of the biggest things about my Ayato that I haven't seen elsewhere is that he's kind of a self sacrificial idiot too. sure, might not be at the extent that Xingqiu goes to or even Childe, but he's the kind of guy who says that anything done at his expense is acceptable if it can be justified. if losing his relationship with Thoma is what will ultimately benefit Thoma, then it's acceptable for him to have a broken heart. he's not that romantic, but still hurts to let your lover go.