Meeting a lot of impressive people today. I feel like a country bumpkin best them. I don't know what #realistic relationships look like. When I feel like a #thirdwheel, I leave to go off on my own so I do not annoy others maybe tired of me. But then they do not invite me because I said no, and may think I'm #antisocial, but really I just don't know when I'm wanted.

When am I being #clingy, aloof? Why is the line between acquaintance/friend/lover so blurry to me? Is it because of the #abuse I've suffered (m/p/s)? It's like the only signals I can recognize are either blatant messages or #sexual advances. Otherwise I don't know where I stand.

Sometimes it goes well for a while. But then I'm out of fuel, out of use. No platitudes necessarily help.

#anxiety #people #other