You arent defined by your relationships, your intentions, your verbally expressed values.
Youre defined by the consequences of your actions, and insofar as said actions have a utilitarian value, whether you leave Earth a better more sustainable place or a dead rock ran into the ground by fascists.
In sum, this is how/why I can write off brainwashed Fox News bigots that gave birth to me.
Unmitigated truth and radical acceptance is Liberation, not denial.