Right. This is the #football thread for the big top-of-the-table #SouthYorkshire derby. #BFC v #SWFC. #Barnsley v #SheffWed. #BARSHW.

There may be swearing. No. There will be swearing.

#UTO #WAWAW #COYBAWW

Already we have a pre-match controversy: do I need a wee or will it wait while half-time? #SWFC #BARSHW

Buggar.

#BAR 1 - 0 #SWFC

Buggaring bollocks.

#BAR 2-O #SWFC

REVERSE BUGGAR!

#BAR 2-1 #SWFC

He's us striker
He's us number 9
Scooring goyls int blue n white
Gorrim on a free from Stoork Citee
And he guz bih name uh Gregory!

#BAR 2-1 #SWFC

Well, what an odd first half.

Barnsley were tigerish in the press, as you'd expect in their cup final, but Wednesday dominant and threatening more and more as the half wore on.

A good goal from #LeeGregory, and only a proper world-class save from the Dingle goalkeeper stops #MichaelSmith making it two for the #Owls with a header.

(Oh, and we let them score two (good) goals within LITERALLY 13 seconds of each other.)

And my bladder held out too - this must omen well.

HT #BAR 2-1 #SWFC

REVERSE BUGGAR AND REVERSE BOLLOCKS!

Bannan to Neymarv to Gregory! BISH BASH BOSH!

#BAR 2-2 #SWFC

Reinstate both buggar and bollocks, add in a piss and a tits.

Wednesday could and should have strolled that. But Barnsley deserved the win - if you give the oppostion easy opportunities to score 3 goals, you can't complain when they take them. (And they took them well.)

Brilliant game of #football, better than anything you'll've seen in the blood-money-billionaire leagues this year.

Stick your #EuropeanSuperLeague up your bollocks. Gimme a local derby in the rain any day.

#BARNSLEY 4-2 #SWFC

I think I am reasonably magnanimous in the face of defeat by the Dingles because I was wholly expecting it. Their cup final, us unbeaten for 23 games, not lost there for donkey's years, etc.

But I absolutely did not expect #SWFC to lose like that. I was expecting a dud performance, rathering than us battering them and (deservedly) losing anyway.

And I can't even drink heavily in response, for I have a hospital appointment in the morning. Ho hum. We go again.

#Barnsley 4-2 #SWFC

@azulbuho my condolences as a long suffering fellow football fan.

This week I've seen my team turn glory into a shitshow in the blink of an eye.

@Twoclownseating Football is a stupid game that smells of wee. Someone cure me of loving it so.

(Who's your team? Fulham?)

@azulbuho I agree, and yes Fulham.
@Twoclownseating I have Fulham sympathies, as friends of mine are longstanding home-and-away Cottagers. And because I used to drink in a Fulham pub by Hammersmith Bridge. And because I've hated Chelsea since 1984, and my enemy's enemy is my friend.

@azulbuho the last reason is by far the soundest

Wednesday are a proper club. Though I have no links there are those clubs that just have history and tradition you respect (plus not having shitty fans is always helpful)

Have not made it to Hillsborough so far, most of my away days were late 90s to 2010. Hopefully you'll come up rather than us come down so we can meet again soon

@Twoclownseating Kind words - but we have our share of shitty fans. Mainly an amiable bunch, though, who are happy as long as things are heading in the right direction. (Which they haven't been, generally, for a couple of decades now.)

I remember Sean Davis getting a late equaliser against us to clinch promotion, maybe? 00/01 season? You seemed very happy about the point, anyway. Gerald Sibon put us ahead, straight in with a cheeky corner. You were on the up and we were on the way down.

@azulbuho we all have our wronguns. I went to Juventus away (humble brag) and some of the fans behaviour was unrecognisable from the norm. It happens, but if it's a regular thing, or your clubs unofficial modus operandi, then I'm judging you on it (hello Chelsea, Millwall, West Ham, Stoke, Birmingham city)
@Twoclownseating It's an odd thing, cos I happily existed without knowing any actual Chelsea fans until I moved down south, and then I met a lovely guy from an Indian family, and another lovely bloke who runs a beer shop, and they're both lifelong Chelsea fans. I even met a Leeds fan I liked. I hate it when that happens.

@azulbuho never let personal experience get in the way of generalised prejudice, very un-British

I have good friends who are Chelsea fans, I also know a Leeds fan who is tolerable (probably the one you met I'm guessing)