idk, as a fat unfeminine afab person I have a lot of *feelings* about Despair's character design, and like... She's literally the personification of misery, she's designed to look scary and upsetting, and I feel like I should not be like "hey nice fat-positive rep"

and yet.

there is something about her whole look that I really like? maybe a lot of this is just projection and seeing what I want to see, but I always felt like there's something about how... she's something that society does not want to see or confront, and being a fat, not-young, not-sexy naked woman seemed to fit into that. The power of her kind of being like, yeah, I'm gonna be this thing you're all so scared and horrified by, what are you gonna fucking do about it. Of her just being herself, in everyone's face. I like that she's monstrous and scary and offputting and that that's part of her power.

.. I mean, sure, it would be better if there were also fat characters who *aren't* monstrous and scary and offputting, but it was the 90s and there weren't a whole lot of fat characters being anything ever other than a joke or existing *solely* to be offputting and gross, so "offputting and scary and powerful and mysterious and tragic and sympathetic" seemed like a pretty big step up I guess

Edit: I forgot about Gilbert! Who is not at all scary or offputting, so there's that.

and like

I feel like most of that is going to be lost if she becomes "fat girl who looks a bit sad"

like I kinda wonder if maybe they were trying to *avoid* fatphobia, maybe they looked at the books and went "huh, maybe 'scary ugly fat lady whomst scary and ugly' is not cool actually, maybe we should make her pretty but sad-looking"

but idk

definitely feel like they could've made her scary and unsettling without leaning into the "gross" aspect and without losing what made her design so recognisable and striking