@godpod shrooms

@godpod Full course of all childhood vaccinations

@godpod Health insurance.

@godpod Heelys

@godpod A Twitter account so that he could have a handy list of smitees.

@godpod I'm assuming this is Republican Jesus. The real Jesus that wasn't into woke bullshit. Probably I'd get him an AR-15 and 200 rounds of .223 ammo. GOD BLESS 'MURIKA!!

@godpod Nintendo Switch

@godpod bullets and an American flag.. because nothing more important to the little baby Jesus

@godpod Sprite Cranberry

@godpod silicon, lithium and fresh water.

@godpod An $8 Twitter verification, a Fritz Lang collection and a covid shot.

@godpod weed

@godpod my partner says, "trump's toupee." My answer is, "a lifetime subscription to The Young Turks channel."

@godpod
A waterbed so he could sleep on water too

@godpod A copy of the torah.

@godpod Axe Body Spray

@godpod a plug-in donkey

@godpod curry

@godpod
All the banned books.

@godpod covid

@godpod a coupon for 25% off 23 and me

@godpod Netflix sub

@godpod 2 thoughts and 5 prayers, so the multitudes will never run out...

@godpod crypto

@godpod a green screen dress

@godpod N-95 masks and the patience of Job.

@godpod
I don't show up as a stranger on new parents' doorsteps with gifts for the baby. That's just creepy.

@godpod a memo about his fucked up fan club

@godpod Frankenberry

@godpod avocado toast?

@godpod an iPad mini without a charger

@godpod a side positioner so he doesn't roll over while sleeping

@godpod A gift receipt for World Food Kitchen.

@godpod a nail puller.

@godpod Sapiens book.

@godpod #AirPods.

@godpod it depends. What country is he born in? Israel? Given who’s back in power, some random Palestinian’s land.

@godpod Frankincense and Trump’s femur.

@godpod I’d open a bank account dedicated to legal defense, and buy him stock in lumber. As a prophet/rebel he will find himself constantly being sued, and with climate change, lumber is going to go sky high and he’d need it for his carpentry; he could be set for life since an itinerant preacher probably would otherwise get all those anti-homeless laws thrown at him. The harassment would be on a level at least like AD33

@godpod probably not a skin preservative for burial like myrrh… formaldehyde would be more 2022 speed…

@godpod
a Binky

@godpod a three pound sack of turnips, a copy of the October 1999 issue of Playboy featuring Claudia Christian, and four socks filled with 20 centésimos coins from Uruguay. Also a petition to keep the McRib on the menu all year round.

@godpod Parsley, Sage, Rosemary, and Time

@godpod a random seed. I still believe in the good of this great teacher.

@godpod A copy of "Sapiens" by Yuval Noah Harari, and a copy of "The Phantom Tollbooth" by Norton Juster.

@godpod He seemed to like the myrhh I got him last time, so I will probably just get that again.

@godpod a drum set to play in your basement, God. 🤣

@godpod honestly, home-made play dough. Kept me quiet for hours!

@godpod Rolled Colombian gold, frank's incense, an munchos.

@godpod an apology.

@godpod a Christmas present of course

@godpod a Bluey plushie