sara (they/she)

I've been watching a lot of #TimeLoop #Films lately with my wife. Just watched Everything Everywhere All At Once, Palm Springs, & The Map of Tiny Perfect Things. I've been hyper fixated on time loops & #QuantumPhysics and #multiverse and just having fun thinking and imagining. I love #SciFi. And E.E.A.A
O is now my favorite film ever, hands down.

So, right now as I am laying in bed thinking about how difficult it is to live with #mecfs and wondering if I will I ever feel 'healthy' again, it hit me -- how living with an #AcquiredDisability or chronic illness is kind of like living in a time loop?

The days go by so slowly, but somehow months and years are over in a blur and I can't remember them at all. Much of the same happens each day. I have little choice in what I can actually do. It feels neverending. And I yearn to return to The Before. While not knowing if it'll ever be possible to get there.

Yoinks!

#EverythingEverywhereAllAtOnce #MapOfTinyPerfectThings #PalmSprings #spoonies #SpoonieLife #disabled #pwme #pwlc #fblc #LongCovid #LongHauler #InMyFeels

Nov 9, 2022 at 5:06pmWeb
Show threadCyrusNov 9, 2022

@thebiglaskowski Yeah, it is an endless time loop but in a parallel universe, sort of. To me it feels like time stopped partly when I fell ill, and completely when I became too disabled to actively partake in society, because people have gone on with their lives while mine has been stuck in the same position for years.

If there were a cure for #MECFS tomorrow, I would be resuming my life from the point where it stopped, not from now.

Show threadCyrusNov 9, 2022
@thebiglaskowski Like, if I were to go and see my old friends (none of whom have stuck by my side, but anyway), I would expect them to be the same age as when I fell ill and I would chat with them as if I had seen them the day before I fell ill.
Show threadAsh 🐺 🌎 🌊Nov 9, 2022

@CyruxiME @thebiglaskowski
Yes, exactly. I think it is a blessing and a curse, both.
Everything since I became ill - in 1999! - is a blur. I have no sense of the passage of the years, especially since I became housebound in '08.
I struggle to remember how long it has been since "x" event happened, and am sometimes months or years off.

On the other hand, I think I would go crazy if I it really felt like so many years are lost to this illness.

Show threadsara (they/she)Nov 10, 2022
@AshWolf @CyruxiME yep...the worst kind of time loop because we still age & everyone else is not in the loop. sigh 😩