So here are my goals, in no particular order:

1. I used to love rollercoasters. I vividly remember the last time I tried to get on one. There’s nothing quite like the shame of having to walk back along the line because they couldn’t get the harness to close fully.
I would very much like to put that particular demon to rest.

2. I would like to get to a point where I could go to a UK clothes shop that isn’t Yours.

3. I’d like to be able to go on holiday and not panic that if my suitcase went missing I’d be stuck with what I’m wearing because I could just buy something locally.

4. Speaking of holidays, I would like to fly without a seatbelt extender.

5. I would love to not have to consider the structural integrity of chairs or the measurement between the seating and the table in a booth or picnic table ever again.

6. I would like to consider hang gliding or skydiving or going up in helicopter or a hot air balloon etc.
I don’t even necessarily want to do them, I would just like to have the option.

What no numbers weightloss goals do you have or have had?

#TaperingTroggie #WeightlossJourney

After a SA at 16 I started losing weight rapidly. My parents were unaware and mum would praise me for “looking better”.

My mental health also started to decline and plummeted after I went to uni. I was undiagnosed autistic with ptsd dealing with a huge life change and lack of structure.
With nobody watching every calorie I consumed for the first time in my life, I turned to food to gain a sense of control and have been using it as a coping mechanism ever since.

Which is a very long way to explain why I think my goal can’t be numbers. I know I’m tracking and posting my weight now but it’s mostly just proof to keep getting the pens as they won’t send them otherwise. I’m hoping to get to a point where I don’t have to pay much attention to that and focus more on how I feel.

#TaperingTroggie #WeightlossJourney

I started puberty fairly early and basically stopped growing upwards. I only recently learned that’s a thing that can happen. Hormones are bastards.
But I was fit. As well as all the bands and orchestras, I also did some form of dance 2-4 times a week. Ballet, tap, modern, national. I did the lot.

I was averaging women’s size 16 most of my mid-late teenage years.
My mother would forever complain about finding clothes.
When I was about 12 my ballet teacher suggested I wear tights as I’d be “more comfortable”. I was the only one in my class she told this to.

Look at the fatty in the tights. 🙄

#TaperingTroggie #WeightlossJourney

I’ve been thinking about my goal.
I have a few and I’m sticking to things that don’t involve scales or numbers.
I don’t want to be skinny or even thin tbh. I’m 46. That ship has sailed.

I’ve been told my BMI is high basically all my life. I think BMI is absolute nonsense and may have done more damage to my body image than anything else. And I lived through diet culture in the 90s.

Until I went to secondary school I was the tallest in my class. Tallest. Not fattest. But I thought I was fat. I was certainly treated like I was by kids at school as well as my family, especially my mum and my nan.

When I see photos of myself at that age I get so angry and sad for that kid. I was definitely *not* fat.
I wish I could’ve seen myself then with kinder eyes.

#TaperingTroggie #WeightlossJourney

I enjoyed Eggs Benedict for breakfast at the hotel, as well as fudge, pizza and other treats over the weekend.
So I was bracing myself for another disappointing check in today.

However, I am 1.6kg/3.5lbs down! Officially lost over 10kg/22lbs/1.6stone now. Yay!

I think importantly, I enjoy these treats for what they are. Perhaps even a lot more so these days. But I am way less tempted to go overboard.

Past me would’ve gone down the *fuck it* spiral of “oh well, I’ve fallen off the diet wagon, may as well eat all of the junk until I feel absolutely awful because apparently that’s what I deserve”.

I just had some tasty eggs and some lovely fudge. So what?

I’m… quite proud of myself 😳

#TaperingTroggie #WeightlossJourney

It has now been a month since I started on wegovy and something that’s been a bit of a *moment* is realising my diet may not be an intrinsic part of who I am.

It’s easy to assume after 40 years of being in a bigger body that it must be your fault somehow.
Society certainly likes to not so much insinuate this as shout it loudly, in your face, at every opportunity.
Other people are not fat. It must be because you’re lazy. You lack the willpower.

How I assumed weight loss medications worked was to punish you if you didn’t stick to a low fat, low carb, low fun existence.

Eat a crumb of cake? Diarrhoea.
Have yourself some full fat yoghurt? Vomiting for you!

But my experience has (thankfully) been none of that. Yes, I’ve had / am having stomach issues. But not because of my diet per se or because I’m being punished for what I’m eating.
The meds slow my digestive system right down to the point where by the time food comes to the *exit*, every nutrient and every drop of water has been absorbed instead of flying through my body barely touching the sides. This is a good thing, mostly. Except for the exiting part, or lack thereof.

Aside from learning how much fibre to add without shitting myself, I mostly eat what I want. Seriously.
But snacking is almost nonexistent. I don’t really think about food between meals. When I do snack I find it so much easier to eat a smaller amount from a bag of crisps and leave the rest. “Food noise” has *drastically* decreased. The difference is genuinely mind blowing.

I dropped my breakfast of porridge this morning. What did I have instead?
An apple and a handful of macadamia nuts.
Who even am I?

The meds are not magic. I haven’t suddenly discovered what nutrition is or the ability to stop shoving McDonald’s in my face. My brain chemicals are just becoming more balanced so I make healthier choices without thinking. The last part is important.

I’m not saying I couldn’t have done that before. I could have.
But it’s like getting glasses or starting adhd meds (so I’m told).
You suddenly see the leaves on the trees. The vyvanse makes the world go quiet and it’s easier to think straight.

It’s like finding out you are the only one who has an invisible hippo named Gerald who screams at you 24/7.

You ask yourself - is this how it is for everyone else this whole time? Does nobody else have a Gerald??

Something that hit me hard when I got my autism diagnosis at 39 was if you’ve spent your entire life thinking that the world is just LOUD and if you’re the one who gets overwhelmed then it must be your fault. Be better.

Maybe this medication turns off Gerald and I find out I’ve still been living on hard mode this whole time.

#TaperingTroggie #WeightlossJourney

I guess I knew it was a possibility with starting HRT this week - I’ve gained for the first time since beginning wegovy.

Up 1.2kg / 2.64lbs.

I’ve been tracking my calories in an app for the past few days just for evidence to myself that I am in a deficit.
I’m not even reaching 2000 per day from what I can tell, which is well below my maintenance number, almost in the vlcd range.

The evidence points very much towards the HRT being the culprit but I still feel defeated.
I suppose all I can do is acknowledge that and try to be kind to myself.

Starting the next stage of titration today so onwards and… preferably in a more downwards direction 🤞

#TaperingTroggie #WeightlossJourney