Well I did it anyway.

It was hard to go do it, hard to do it and hard to accept that I FINALLY WALKED A MILE because if nothing else I’m a stubborn bastard.
It doesn’t feel like it’s an achievement.
*What? You did what you were supposed to be doing!*

How am I ever supposed to feel good about this if I’m incapable of releasing the reward chemicals when I do the “right” thing? Fuck knows.

#TaperingTroggie #GLP1 #Weightloss #Diet #WeightlossJourney

I have to go get on the walking pad. I’ve ordered D out of the house because I can’t possibly do it with him here. So I have to do it. If I don’t then why am I even doing this?
I could buy a reasonable amount of cake instead of a new pen of wegovy.
Walking is doing nothing to lose the weight. Even though it hurts already. You’re not doing enough. You haven’t even managed to do a mile yet.
But if you don’t do it today then you’re failing.
So you might as well give up now.

#TaperingTroggie #GLP1 #Weightloss #Diet #WeightlossJourney

Another check in day. I’m 0.8kg down. Or 0.5kg if you believe the scales when I stepped on to do the official weight on the app as opposed the same scales literally 2 minutes prior.

Feels like I’ve hit a bit of a plateau and I’m not handling it particularly well. I don’t know if it’s hormones but I’m feeling pretty nihilistic about the whole process today.

Not helped by taking the extremely ill-advised step of calculating how long it’d take to get to X weight at my current rate of loss.
3 years. Over 3 years actually. And I’d still be considered obese. I’d still get doctors telling me to lose weight. I’d still be seen as fat.

But it’s fine because a couple of pounds a week is *good* weightloss right? It’s sustainable. It’s healthy.

No. It’s not fast enough. So my brain starts doing what it does and did you know 3 years is? That’s £6,350 worth of wegovy. To still be fat? Assuming the price doesn’t go up, which it definitely will.
But I’m almost certainly not going to have the money to keep taking it by then.
Also I’ll be over 50 and it’s only going to get harder to lose once I fully hit menopause.

I’m 11kg down now and I’ve noticed no difference. I could probably lose another 11kg and still not look or feel any different.

The fact that just sorting diet out is not enough already. I have to look at increasing exercise and that terrifies me. I hate admitting that because the shame it brings. But the amount of pain and discomfort that comes with that is a monumental Great Wall like 10 million feet high that is and always has been my biggest obstacle.

I’m tearful. I’m angry. Every cell of my brain is screaming at me to just give up.

#TaperingTroggie #GLP1 #Weightloss #Diet #WeightlossJourney