Heather Cookđź––Autistic CoachI want to float an idea.
There's a version of being sensitive to the other person, of being aware of them and attuned to them, that isn't masking. 1/3
#AutisticMasking #ActuallyAutistic #Autistic #Neurodiversity #unmasking
People sometimes ask me what to say when they disclose their autism, like there's a script that'll guarantee a good reaction. But there isn't.
There's no perfect combination of words that'll make someone respond with acceptance and support no matter who they are or what they're carrying. 1/2
#AutisticMasking #ActuallyAutistic #Autistic #Neurodiversity #AuDHD #unmasking
Disclosing you're autistic isn't just sharing information. You're engaging with a completely different whole person and their whole world.
They've got their own relationship with the word 'autism.' Their own history. Their own idea of who they thought you were — and you may be quietly rewriting that. 1/2
#ActuallyAutistic #Autistic #Understanding #Neurodiversity #unmasking
Masking isn't the same thing as being sensitive to other people. And being sensitive to other people isn't the same thing as masking.
There's a version of attunement — of being aware of someone, reading the room, adjusting how you show up — that isn't masking. It's just... being in relationship with another person.
Unmasking doesn't mean being insensitive. Those aren't the only options.
#AutisticMasking #ActuallyAutistic #Autistic #Neurodiversity #AuDHD #unmasking
I absolutely despise clothes shopping. There are so many sensory things that are wrong with it. The fluorescent lights, the changing clothes, I barely can stand changing clothes twice a day in my own home, nevermind lots of clothes changes in a row where most of those clothes that I put on are going to have sensory issues in one way or another.
1/2
#ActuallyAutistic #AuDHD #Autistic #Sensory #Unmasking #AutisticMasking
At some point after learning to unmask, I started incorporating back more sensitivity and more attunement to the other person. Thinking about what their history is. What is it that they need? What will go over well?
Not in a way that is covering up who I am, but in a way that is just responsive to wanting to be kind to the other person.
#ActuallyAutistic #Autistic #Neurodiversity #AuDHD #AutisticMasking #unmasking
Dr. Figuring-things-autSmall steps! But steps nonetheless. I recognised that people were not for me today & was able to communicate clearly with SO. I was able to convey that I wanted to do the cooking by myself (wanted SO out of the way) & needed some peace & quiet tonight. In turn SO appreciated the good communication & was happy as he wanted to do things without me tonight, too. A few years ago we probably both would have had a hard time to voice how we really felt and what we wanted. #Unmasking #ActuallyAutistic
Dawn RileyIt's strange to have changed how I use social media. Where once I followed the examples of posting about education milestones, trainings, stories about progress at work, now I'm not posting for an audience, just journaling things I am thinking or like.
I understand my why for this change. I guess it's a bit of unmasking as it often seems to highlight being out of step in my environment; something I used to work to reduce others observing about me.
What I know now and will never unknow:
* My body signaled danger they overrode.
* Emotional trust was weaponized as access.
* Over-explaining was my fawn response, not poor communication.
* Blocking was protection, not drama. Impact > intent.
* My nervous system was right.
I am not compromising who I am or what my truth is, and I’m not saying things just because society demands it.