Mastodawn

Della Wren Nov 26, 2022

What happens to your relationships when you change yourself within the relationship?

For a lot of folks, they want to jump in with the people they care about. So, they literally will hold themselves back in order to not upset anybody. I'm certainly guilty of this at many points in my life.

Just so you understand, I'm not even talking external reality shifts, I'm talking about internal change. This is just about how we're responding to our lives and other people. It's got nothing to do with buying something you know your partner is going to hate or suddenly quitting your job to open your own business. This is just shifting yourself within the experience.

People don't like it when we stop responding the way we always do. They definitely don't like massive external change, but the internal change is just as bad because you're no longer in the relationship the same way. The reason why people don't like this is quite simple - when you change it means everybody around you also has to change. People simply don't like to change. That's why they tend to get a little grumpy.

What about when you live with somebody and your realities are seemingly tied together?

Here's the deal; you both have your own life paths. You're both moving at different speeds on your own trajectories. Because you're together, your paths have crossed and paralleled for some length of time, but they have not joined. They don't become one path.

Perception tells you otherwise. Often, the fairytale version of marriage is this idea of 2 becoming 1. That fairytale causes a warp in our perception and our ability to move forward on our own path at our own speed.

At many points I've felt stuck and trapped by other people doing what they were doing. What I've had to realize, and this isn't easy to do, is that I can continue moving forward even when others are seemingly stuck. I don't have to wait for anybody.

This is a really hard one to see in the fog. Our perception gets very skewed when we think we have to factor in other people's journeys and realities more than we do. The simple truth is, especially when we're talking about internal shifts, that we don't have to do that. We're taught that we're supposed to but that perception comes from the fear of what happens next.

Now we're back to that unknown outcome and the big "what if?". People that want to be in your life will work to stay there even if and, maybe especially when, you're working to create healthy change within yourself. It might take them a bit to come around, but they should come around on their own without you pushing, forcing, or otherwise doing anything to make them.

Relationships that were unhealthy to begin with stay that way and often end when we go through this process. If you're honest with yourself you'll recognize that part of your internal shift is getting okay with letting go of some of these unhealthy relationships. This kind of thing is part of the journey. It's not an easy part of the journey, but it still needs to happen.

This process will show you healthy relationship versus unhealthy relationship and that will mean you get to make some choices. The choices aren't easy but they are necessary. You're questioning who and what you want in your life. Do you want to continue the old patterns and cycles? Do you want to keep going on the old path? Chances are you're changing because you're tired of the old way of doing things. So, why do you insist on handcuffing yourself to people that may or may not be supportive of what you're doing?

Perception, particularly in relationships, is a really funky thing. I can pretty much guarantee that this will show up in some format in Mastering the Illusion and it is definitely something we can talk about in my Conscious Clarity Community.

If you'd like links to either of those, shoot me a message!

Love to all.

Della

#relationships #spirituality #healing #change #pain #perception #paths #journey #tiedtogether #stuck #movingforward