me: i know i cant run for senator but even if i did no one’s voting for someone with shit teeth. i’d only have a chance if i figure out how to fix my teeth. can’t fix problems in this country if i can’t fix my teeth lol
brain: why not
me: what
brain: why not. you’d be campaigning on the fact that you actually understand the problems in this country and your teeth are proof of that. no one can stop you from becoming a united states senator
me: i’m tired and my bones are melting and i want to kill myself
my brain: then you will also campaign with a mobility scooter
me: sure. and who’s prescribing it?
my brain: and that’s exactly why you need to be a us senator
#99-percent-chance-i’m-not-running-for-senator #…-this-year