After a week of not running I got myself back out there. Super proud of myself because it’s taken me days to push myself back out the door.
I struggle massively to get out and exercise I have to have loads of things in place and it’s a whole thing just to force myself outside. The promise I made to myself that I will push myself this year to improve my mental health is thankfully still the loudest voice. The self doubt, anxiety, darkness and trauma are still extremely loud and I battle with poor mental health constantly but the important thing is that I’m still fighting, fighting for myself. None of this is easy at times it feels impossible but I don’t allow myself to give up on myself. If you are struggling with your mental health remember you are worth fighting for and fight for yourself, just a little win makes all the difference. You’ve got this and you are so worth it, keep going and keep fighting for you 💪🏼🏃🏽‍♀️👌🏼. #mentalhealth #mentalhealthmatters #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery #ptsd #ptsdrecovery #ptsdrecoveryjourney #complextrauma #running #runningmotivation #thisgirlcan #thisgirlcanrun #positivity #keepgoing #youareworthit❤️ #youmatter #fightforyou

Two months of not smoking, that’s huge for me. Still very much taking it a day at a time and still using nicotine mints and gum but even that is getting gradually less. Been trying to work on running faster so I’ve been doing shorter faster runs. Can’t say I’m getting the same benefit from it mental health wise as it was supposed to be about escaping into my runs to switch off I’m actually not sure how it ended up the way it has. I do want to beat my 5k PB but once I achieve that I can go back to enjoying my runs again. I’m honestly unsure that it’s the right move for me as my mental health has took a nose dive, the 2nd morning was brutal it took about an hour to get out the door and I had sat crying for 20 mins then cried during my run. It then didn’t help getting laughed at by some girl running the opposite way with her mate, it’s the 2nd time this has happened since I started back on the 1st January.
So to all you fit, fast, skinny birds good for you that you look great and are fab runners. Not all of us are like you, yes I’m fat and awkward but I’m having a go and working ridiculously hard to get out the door to run and improve my physical and mental health. So perhaps think twice before giving a snide look and laughing, try and put yourself in my shoes. To the beautiful humans that smile and encourage thank you so very much these small interactions make difficult days brighter.
Still going and still trying to improve my life and mental health 💪🏼🏃🏽‍♀️. #mentalhealth #mentalhealthmatters #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery #ptsd #ptsdawareness #ptsdrecovery #running #runningmotivation #runningtherapy #bekind #thisgirlcanrun #keepgoing #staystrong #positivevibes

Even with the exercise my mental health is still a major battleground. The endorphines are a huge help as none of the many many medications I’ve tried have worked for me, they actually made me feel way worse.
I still have to plan and put things in place so that I can force myself out the door and even then it can all go to pot. So I’m having to respect my limitations whilst trying to push myself as hard as I am able. I was supposed to run yesterday but it took my two hours to force myself out of bed and I couldn’t force myself out that door no matter how hard I tried it was all too much. I though today would be the same as I couldn’t get myself out of my bed and face the world, it took an hour to get me out of the door and I almost turned around and went back home a few times. I truly pushed myself to my limit today mentally and physically every step was hard fought for so I’m really proud to of ran 11.5k running until my legs could go no further and I ran my fastest 10k.
Fighting against PTSD and complex trauma is a beast, one that frequently brings me to my knees but one I keep fighting anyway. #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthmatters #ptsd #ptsdawareness #ptsdrecovery #complextrauma #complextraumarecovery #running #runningmotivation #runningtherapy #10k #thisgirlisonfire #thisgirlcan #thisgirlcanrun

Had a brutal night filled with really traumatic night terrors so all I wanted to do was wrap myself in my blanket and wallow in the darkness. I pushed myself really hard not to give in and help myself by getting out the door. My head gave me every reason not to go out and run but I fought back really fucking hard got myself out the door and get some exercise, fresh air and switch off the darkness and pain.
I’m really proud of my achievements today as they were fought for, trying to recover from complex trauma and PTSD is a tough and long road but on I’m determined to keep walking (or running). Go me!! Go sports!!!! #mentalhealth #mentalhealthmatters #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery #ptsd #ptsdawareness #ptsdrecovery #complextrauma #complextraumarecovery #running #tennis #parklife #exercise #freshair #thisgirlcan #thisgirlcanrun #gosports