New Democratic “Your Mom” Talking Points Throwing Republicans in Turmoil [OC]
(Washington DC) After years of “if they go low, we go high,” Democratic lawmakers have begun reversing course, leaving Republicans in a panic. Last Friday, in response to Congressman Gary Palmer’s (R-AL) claim all Democrats want to hurt America, Eugene Vindman (D-VA) replied “well that’s not what your mom says, Gary. She likes us just fine.” Later, responding to Palmer’s outrage, saying his mother is in a grave in Alabama, Vindman doubled down. “Are you sure, Gary? Because that’s not what your mom says.” Palmer had no response. This new tactic has Republicans confused. “Democrats are naturally a passive species,” said one political biologist. “When attacked, their natural response is to curl in a ball, and say something lukewarm about Medicare. This aggression suggests Democrats may be developing a spine - or at least a spine-like adaptation - to the MAGA movement.” Republicans are outraged at the idea. Tim Berchett (R-TN) said, “I didn’t come to Washington to talk to children, I prefer dealing with an adult.” “That’s not what his mom says,” countered Maxine Dexter (D-OR), giggling. “And his mom said that for both her, and her widdle son.” House leadership is calling for decorum. House minority leader Hakeem Jefferies (D-NY) said today, “Speaker Mike Johnson (R-LA) told me today that he understands why everyone is worked up. He hopes we can come together and stand behind each other in unity. He said both these things.” “No wait, maybe it was his mom,” Jefferies added. Most alarming to Republicans is the warm reception their base is giving the insults. Leo Sturbgetter, a cow detangler in Maryland, said: “today Rick Scott (R Senator-FL) said he wasn’t going to bend over to Democratic pressure… is he paying attention? Man, maybe I’m in the wrong party… I can handle inflation and $5 gas, but I can’t be seen with a party of idiots.”
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