What you're actually controlling is your perception of what's going on around you.

The mind makes up stories that are really exciting. They add a lot of drama and emotion to what's happening. But those stories are also the reason you're in pain. They are the reason why you can't let go of the things you're arguing with.

Those stories are based on self-protection. Your perception by default is designed to protect you. That's why you tell the stories - to protect yourself from more pain. The mind is okay with you not being happy as long as it can decide you're safe. Here's the key - the mind will never think you're safe and it'll keep you in a constant battle for whatever safety means for you.

That leaves you with a choice to make about your life and how you see things.

You can buy into the perception that keeps you safe but makes you miserable or you can shift your perception so that it doesn't necessarily protect you anymore, but you will be happier in the long run.

Your perception offers a lot of projection of blame, shame, guilt, and victimization onto other people. That's how your perception protects you. Those stories are what keep you in pain. The experience just is and isn't even happening anymore. You're creating your own pain by telling these stories.

When you take what happened at face value without any projection at all, it allows you to manage your own emotions, control your own thinking, release the pain, stop identifying with what happened, and free yourself to be okay. You're no longer looking around you to decide how to feel. You've now taken control over your perception of your own experience.

Managing your perception is how you heal and release the stories. That is part of controlling your thinking. It's part of keeping your head screwed on straight so that the emotions don't sweep you away. It's part of making peace with the past.

You can do it. You just have to become aware of what the mind is trying to offer you and then consciously shift it when it becomes a problem.

It takes time and practice, but it is possible.

Love to all.

Della

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