Verence would rather cut his own leg off than put a witch in prison, since it'd save trouble in the long run and probably be less painful.

Terry Pratchett, Lords and Ladies

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"Oh, a very useful philosophical animal, your average tortoise. Outrunning metaphorical arrows, beating hares in races... very handy."

Terry Pratchett, Small Gods

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- "What're quantum mechanics?"
- "I don't know. People who repair quantums, I suppose."

Terry Pratchett, Eric

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- "Outside! What's it like?"
- "Well -- It's sort of big"

Terry Pratchett, Truckers

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Nature abhors dimensional abnormalities, and seals them neatly away so that they don't upset people. Nature, in fact, abhors a lot of things, including vacuums, ships called the "Marie Celeste", and the chuck keys for electric drills.

Terry Pratchett, Pyramids

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Oh dear, I'm feeling political today. It's just that it's dawned on me that 'zero tolerance' only seems to mean putting extra police in poor, run-down areas, and not in the Stock Exchange.

Terry Pratchett, alt.fan.pratchett

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He'd never realized that, deep down inside, what he really wanted to do was make things go splat.

Terry Pratchett, Reaper Man

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