RE: https://social.bau-ha.us/@bytebot/116171986837713749

Come along!
#Erfurt

#meetup
#socialising
#tec

Liebknechtstraße 8 (backyard)
#openSpace
bytespeicher.org
aka @bytespeicher

"Teambuilding": Synonym für Zwangssozialisieren mit Menschen, die man nach einem achtstündigen Arbeitstag nicht auch noch im Restaurant treffen mag.

#arbeit #teambuilding #socialising

#GifsArtidote:
góóód morning vietnam! i am starting the morning with this #podcast episode around the question: can the #narcissist change? by #NarcCon

after which i am going to my #CommunityLivingroom to get some #socialising #networking & #CommunityCare in, & possibly offer my #MutualAid 😊. looking forward to today! 🖤

https://pca.st/episode/8d5731e7-3c36-4a82-90ea-1632965d7285

#press #MentalHealth #NPD #BPD #ClusterBpds #GenerationalTrauma #SelfCare

Weaned from YouTube and Instagram

De-Instagramification

it amuses me to read about how Instagram and YouTube are addictive today, when the opposite is true. Imagine, you live alone. You're in the middle of a pandemic. Your only social exchange is at a petrol station when buying a coke or similar. You exchange three sentences and then you go back to abject solitude.

Now, imagine that at the same time as you deal with abject solitude you see social media pivoting from being about your friends and family, to people living a better, more social, more fulfilled life than you. Imagine being exposed to binfluencers. Imagine seeing them get hundreds of likes, and comments. Imagine commenting but being ignored.

Now imagine the sense of solitude, loneliness and isolation. Imagine the ever-increasing sense of FOMO and post-traumatic stress from not being able to connect.

I bring this up because I saw that YouTube and Instagram are being called addictive. Yesterday I heard someone speak about mindless scrolling on Instagram.

Instagram was "addictive", when it was connecting me to friends, family and colleagues. It was addictive when I didn't have an ad that blocks my timeline for several seconds every fourth post. I use the word "addictive", when the right word is "engaging". Instagram was a pleasure to use, when it was a social app that connected me with friends, family and colleagues when we were not in the same physical space. When it pivoted to being about binfluencers and strangers, it became redundant.

The nail in the coffin of Instagram was seeing others get loads of engagement, whilst dealing with pandemic solitude. Instagram became ROMO. Reminder of Missing Out. 😉

YouTube

In the case of YouTube it might have been engaging at one time, when we could search through 30-100 videos at a time. Once they made it so that we get 6-8 recommendations per topic, and everything is written in clickbaitese, and every video uses the same cliché music and sound effects it becomes toxic.

When we could discover content, through browsing YouTube was engaging. When we could read video titles that were not written in clickbaitese, we wanted to click through and browse.

By getting algorithms to take over the timeline and recommendations I'm being fed video titles that repulse, rather attract me. I'm being fed titles that wean, rather than hook me. Ads repulsed me. Clickbait headlines disgusted me off of YouTube.

Engagement Versus Addiction

Humans are naturally social, as was proved by people preferring to play COVID roulette than to get to COVID zero. People want to connect with others, and want to be social. They want to establish relationships and friendships.

Social networks grew and thrived from bulletin boards to web forums and chatrooms to hybrid sites like MySpace, LiveJournal, Blogger and plenty of smaller niche forums. Eventually Twitter, Reddit, Facebook and other monoliths hoovered up every smaller community.

Sparse Geek Density

Twitter and Facebook were engaging because they connected people, in an age where being online was for geeks, not normal people. With time, and especially with the pandemic, normal people arrived on social media, which is when social media lost value.

And Finally, Loneliness is Repulsive, Not Addictive

Instagram and YouTube were interesting. Instagram was engaging when it complemented my life, when it connected me with people I knew and appreciated. When it pivoted and disconnected me from friends it lost its value.

With YouTube it was engaging and interesting when it allowed me to search for and find interesting content after browsing for a certain amount of time. Once it forced me to watch YoUTube optimised clickbait content, it lost it's value.

By pivoting away from being social networks social media sites became irrelevant. That's why they need to resort to addiction strategies.

Some people avoid socialising. Not because they are anti-social. But because they have little patience for drama and fake behaviour.

#transgender #socialising #drama #patience #fake

Courtesy: @pubity

Off visiting today. Hard work for me but I really need to change my ways and try and get out more, now I'm part time at work.

#socialising

Thoughts on WhatsApp and GoSocial

Reading Time: 4 minutes

Before Whatsapp was bought by Facebook it was a great platform for people to chat with family and friends. When Facebook bought Whatsapp, many people, including myself, migrated towards Signal to avoid remaining in the Facebook sphere of influence. Social groups, and their luddites remained on Whatsapp, so we had to revert to using Facebook owned Whatsapp.

GoSocial takes this a step further. GoSocial is a community that has a facebook page that no one can chat on, and GoSocial town groups that no one can write within. In order to write anything you need to find an activity of interest, join the chat, and then you can do the car dance.

Logistics

"Who is driving from Geneva?", "Who is driving from Lausanne?", "Who is at the station already" and "is there a wait list" and then the sharing of photos at the end of the activity before the group is Expired and conversation is killed off.

Due to spamming problems on Whatsapp this makes sense, but from a community point of view I find the concept absurd. I find it absurd to use a chat client to organise events on a platform owned by Facebook. For me it would be more honest to join FB groups, post events there, and then participate.

If you're using Whatsapp, not to use facebook, then you are deluded. Whatsapp is owned and controlled by Facebook. By using either you are using the same communal cesspit. After this weekend I am tempted to dump Whatsapp again, and to give up on GoSocial as a result.

Yesterday I wrote about my concern about the noise pollution from the Caribana festival and it was called hateful. If anything my comment was satirical and ironic. I do not vent on the open web. I vent in the "privacy" of Facebook, if anywhere.

An Incident

I wrote that I hate Crapibana, but I never aimed hate at an individual. I was venting because this event is really, really disruptive. If people can buy a house by an airport and complain about aviation noise, then I can complain about music festivals.

This was not trolling, this was not a personal attack on an individual. This was a comment within a closed community that I had perceived as a safe space. Through being attacked for my comment, and then the owner of that group trying to get into an argument privately I lost interest in the community.

Posts Too Much

In another community, over a year ago I was trolled and a flame war was being fanned. I quit that group. That individual bullied me for posting too much.

Three Strikes

In yet another whatsapp group someone with admin privileges deleted images from a group hike that I had done with someone from the group that had invited me into the chat

A Healthy Community

For me, based on the tweetup community, and Seesmic community in France, Switzerland and England a healthy online community where we can chat as friends about multiple topics, without worrying about being too verbose, or too active.

A healthy community on Whatsapp is like the climbing group community that I was in. Some of us used Whatsapp like a private chat in between activities and it was nice. It was nice to be social between hikes, climbs, via ferrata and other activities.

It was nice to have a group to turn to in moments of solitude.

A Desire No Longer to Join Whatsapp Chats

After being burned by several Whatsapp groups my desire is no longer to join them when I am invited. What I want is a place to have conversations, within a group of friends, on a regular basis. These groups don't offer that. What others want is an RSS feed of events. What I want is a convivial atmosphere and a conversational space.

Enduring Contact

I compromised on my principles, to use Whatsapp, and in the end there is little reward for that compromise. My solitude is almost the same as if I had not touched Whatsapp. I have met people that I want to remain in contact with but after how I was treated I have blacklisted the organiser for his open hostility towards me in the open, and his desire to have an argument in private.

Caribana and Paléo are deeply disruptive events that affect my quality of life for half a week each. I just want a little empathy. It's the apathy that got to me on Sunday afternoon. A good weekend was impacted.

The Seasonal Cherry On the Cake

Social media and Social Networks used to be about conversations between people that could go on for weeks, months or even years. Now utilitarian influencers have hijacked the conversation, including on Whatsapp. Remember, not everyone on Whatsapp is taking a break from married family life. For single people Whatsapp chat rooms should be a convivial space where we can have conversations in between face to face meetings.

What I want is to be invited into a dynamic conversation with likeminded people. The same is true of hikes and bike rides. After a month or two of trying out GoSocial I have come to the conclusion that it is not for me.

And Finally

I forgot to manage my expectations. I expect that groups will be used like social media and social networks. They are not. People take a minimalist approach and that's what I keep hitting against. If I manage my expectations better, and become a minimalist in Whatsapp chat groups then I will fit in, with all the other lurkers. If I want conversations I have Threads, Bluesky and Facebook.

#community #facebook #paradox #socialNetwork #socialising #whatsapp

I think maybe I'm just not cut out for social stuff.

I have family messaging me trying to arrange to meetup this weekend but I don't want to think about that stuff 😅 I don't want to drive anywhere or see anyone. All I want to do is write code, play games, go to the gym and do some gardening. Forever.

#Family #socialising