nocouples"The freedom to love anyone, and express it in any way that makes sense to us, is another gap from which something essential has been torn away. This freedom is rooted in the neo-liberal freedom to chose between a high number of options - of products, of relationships - where we nonetheless can not refuse to chose. When we can see that we don't option to say "no" to the freedom of choice, the illusion dispels. We are not truly free."
Teun π β€οΈ π³οΈβπ πΊπ¦ π΅πΈCuddling with strangers made me realize that our society is really bad at encouraging intimacy.
I wrote about it, why it's a problem, and what I think we can do about it (hint: it's not just polyamory).
π https://teunvanson.eu/cuddles/
#intimacy #RelationshipAnarchy #nonmonogamy #cuddling #love #polyamory #BearBlog #blog #BlogPost
Romantic Love and Relationship Anarchism
Angry sweet antiracist enbyWhen listening to the Modern Anarchy podcast about #RelationshipAnarchy (wholy dedicated to that!) by Dr. Nicole (https://www.modernanarchypodcast.com/podcast)
there is an episode with Evita LaVitaloca who rightfully says that #RA can live perfectly with hierarchical #polyamory with nesting partners., primary partners etc. It is about refusing recognition to he state in these (and other affairs).
Nevertheless I cannot imagine the anarchy also trickles through to the love relationships. It all depends a bit on how you define "primary" then. And would a situation with a nested partner by definition be hierarchical? I think many gays prove the contrary.
there is an episode with Evita LaVitaloca who rightfully says that #RA can live perfectly with hierarchical #polyamory with nesting partners., primary partners etc. It is about refusing recognition to he state in these (and other affairs).
Nevertheless I cannot imagine the anarchy also trickles through to the love relationships. It all depends a bit on how you define "primary" then. And would a situation with a nested partner by definition be hierarchical? I think many gays prove the contrary.
RealZero"Love is abundant, and every relationship is unique.
Relationship anarchy questions the idea that love is a limited resource that can only be real if restricted to a couple. You have capacity to love more than one person, and one relationship and the love felt for that person does not diminish love felt for another. Donβt rank and compare people and relationships β cherish the individual and your connection to them. One person in your life does not need to be named primary for the relationship to be real. Each relationship is independent, and a relationship between autonomous individuals."
- Andie Nordgren, originally in Swedish
Donthatedontkillbell hooks's All About Love really got to me. π
#bellhooks #love #valentinesday #loneliness #party #friends #goodtimes #fyp #community #valentine #loops #valentineday #relationshipanarchy
π breaking ranks.This is a great article on new relationship energy, abbreviated as #NRE - or more precise: on NRE in #polyamorous relationships/polycules and about some mistakes that often occur during that phase.
Very interesting facts and diverse information on the matter and also very well-written!
We've All Been There: Common NRE Mistakes β Polyamory For Us - Sharing What We've Learned
The beginning of a new relationship is a great time. High on NRE, or New Relationship Energy, you feel like everything is perfect, and the other person is perfect for you. Usually little to no conflict, and the sex is amazing. What could possibly go wrong? A lot, it turns out.
I just added this fantastic essay by @catileptic about relationship anarchy to my bookshelfΒΉ.
π https://catileptic.tech/posts/relationship-anarchy-technology/
I'm bad at summarizing, so here's a quote I love:
"The impulse to control others grows when we perceive ourselves to be powerless, threatened, precarious. We might be tempted to exert control directly (over individuals) or we might support state or military control. The paranoia that makes us distrust others and seek to subjugate them is fed by the myth that everyone around seeks to do the same to us. It is nonetheless possible to stop before overflowing from self-protection into dominating others. It takes the awareness to establish when one is safe enough."
Go read the whole thing now!
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ΒΉ https://teunvanson.eu/bookshelf/
πβπ¦οΈππ±πJust read "Relationship Anarchy. Tinkering In the Belly of the Whale" by @catileptic. Now extra sad I had to miss (unrecorded) the talk at #39c3 π
I can't say I was very surprised to see the inspiration starting on the topic of AI, but as many arguments around AI they can be used on other technologies. AI isn't that special.
On the text itself...
(1/2)
[1] https://catileptic.tech/posts/relationship-anarchy-technology/
For me one of the more interesting questions raised at the relationship anarchy and solo poly meetup: how to align our approaches to relationships with people who do not practice relationship anarchy.
Sadly not one that was discussed for no specific reason.