Feeling lost in knowledge…

...I know I know, I "just" can't apply it... I've been through many things in life, good things, bad things, happy moments, and the most traumatizing ones as well. Up until June 2025, I had been able to recover most of it. True, I was struggling with my weight and my exercises, but I "just" figured that, after my surgery had been done, after I had gone through the rehabilitation process, I would be all good to get back on track again. The surgery happened. Things went rather well. At least for about 2½ weeks. Then, I love changed dramatically. Within 5 days, I experienced the worst pain, both physical and mental/emotional. And what happened in those 5 days... It changed me. It set me back. It hurt me so deeply, that I've not been 💯 OK since July 4th 2025. 😭 […]

https://cynnisblog.wordpress.com/2026/04/13/feeling-lost-in-knowledge/

Aches and pains

After taking some pain relief medication this morning, it occurred to me to wonder what it would be like to be able to just take a pill to relieve other kinds of aches and pains, especially of the …

The OW Factor

It feels like a step back…

...but could it actually be a step forward instead? I've had several (hip) surgeries since my first one happened in August 1997. Two triple osteotomy surgeries, issues with a huge abcess, issues with a screw in my pelvis, a new hip, a replacement of that hip, issues with the replacement... So, unfortunately, I've been through the mill a lot. And, maybe, it made me a bit cocky when it came to, or when it comes to, dealing with recovery and rehabilitation. I've done it so many times before, so how hard could it be to do it again? 🤔 Right? […]

https://cynnisblog.wordpress.com/2026/04/11/it-feels-like-a-step-back/

Being “normal”

I've always felt like I was different from all the others. I thought differently, I sensed differently, I moved differently, I loved differently... But, this is not really about my mental state of being. Well, it is, but not directly. It plays a part of it all, as I do believe that my different way of thinking also makes me feel this way about me, trying to be normal. What I mean with being normal is: living a life like I am "supposed" to be living it. Doing the things that one is supposed to do on a daiy basis. Not just eating, sleeping, visiting the loo. But also in the way of running a household, even though it's "just"a household of one... (8 more sleeps... then Koa will be joining me! 🤎). […]

https://cynnisblog.wordpress.com/2026/04/10/being-normal/

Journal – Week 14, March/April 2026

A mixed week, not just weather wise, but also sleep and busy wise. Monday I tried to relax a bit, trying to eat some healthy bits. Tuesday was a busier day, with physio, Nijmegen and.... Puppies! Wednesday I tried to relax a bit, and I had some good news, which was very welcome. Thursday was another busy day, as usual, with the German groceries. Friday, I didn't get the best sleep, and it was a long day, as two of my besties were coming to visit me! They helped me with two chores, for which I am very grateful. We had a good time, but still, after the short night, I was glad when I could go to bed. I tried to have a relaxing Saturday. And Sunday, the first day of Easter, it was time to meet up with the fluffy piranha's again! 🐾🤎 Alt Text:A 14-day weather forecast graph for Herpen, starting March 30, 2026, from the Weer & Radar app. It displays daily maximum (red) and minimum (blue) temperatures in Celsius. Weekends are shaded light blue.Week 1 temperatures (Max/Min): Monday 9/5 with rain; Tuesday 11/3; Wednesday 13/5; Thursday 12/1 with low sun; Friday 12/4; Saturday 17/8; Sunday 15/10 with light rain.Week 2 temperatures (Max/Min): Monday 12/4; Tuesday 17/9 with light rain; Wednesday 15/7; Thursday 12/6; Friday 12/4; Saturday 13/5; Sunday 12/4.A bottom bar indicates sunshine levels, showing mostly moderate sunshine (yellow), except for Thursday of the first week (grey, little sun). Raindrops denote wet days: two on the first Monday, and one each on the first Sunday and second Tuesday. Quick links to the days of the week: Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday & Sunday. […]

https://cynnisblog.wordpress.com/2026/04/07/journal-week-14-march-april-2026/

Why the bläh?

I just don't get it... 😔 Good things are happening. Great things are going to happen, rather soon even. And yeah, I am struggling a bit with anxiety, the everlasting fear of not being good enough, even while I know that I know... But still, after all the pain, the sadness, the struggles... I should be bursting with excitement. And I am counting the days, all of them! Days till the next visit. Days till the testing will be done, where the pups will get their names, and we get to know which one will become ours... Days till it's time to pick the little fellow up, where we will start our journey together, come what may... […]

https://cynnisblog.wordpress.com/2026/04/04/why-the-blah/

#relief again cuz i'm doing so much better today! #physicalhealth #feelings #monster #cards

Can't write too much currently as hands hurt. Fortunately, naproxen and codeine, plus massage gun on hands, are poggers.

Back in 2023, we requested an assessment for EDS. We got a referral, but they solely assessed us for joint hypermobility via the Beighton score assessment 🤦‍♀️

We scored 3 out of 9. You need 5 or higher to be considered hypermobile.

No further tests were arranged for any other types of EDS, and we had no energy to follow up, with everything else happening in our life.

However, over the last year in particular, our pain had gradually increased and energy level had fallen, but we hadn't had time nor spoons to really address those until very recently, where the issues became noticeably worse.

We finally got around to getting past the gatekeepers (it took multiple attempts) to get an appointment. That appointment was today.

We discussed symptoms with a very-empathetic and demonstrably experienced GP today. She listened to how we'd gradually been seeing a decline in our health and discovering how multiple issues tend to overlap, such as:

  • Neurodivergence.
  • Being trans+.
  • EDS.
  • ME/CFS.
  • PCOS.
  • Endometriosis.
  • POTS.
  • MCAS.
  • Fibromyalgia.
  • TMD / TMJD.

... as well as our own physical and mental symptoms, as well as close family. (Our sister has PCOS and pretty sure all immediate family are some flavour of neurospicy.)

Based on this, she kindly agreed to a blood test to rule out common connective tissue problems, specifically:

  • Complement system
    • C3
    • C4
  • Connective Tissue Disease (ANA)

What we didn't expect to learn -- and what she seemed confused by also -- was that when the "specialist" wrote back to our GP about our Beighton score in 2023, it was suggested that further tests should be run to rule out ME/CFS.

Yeah...

We'd say we're surprised, but this is NHS England  

Anyways, we'll try to give some updates if/when we get any. Guess we'll see what the blood tests suggest 🤷‍♀️

#SleepyCattenUpdate #disability #spoonie #NHS #PhysicalHealth #neurodivergent #AuDHD #BeightonScore

Journal – Week 13, March 2026

The week started after some decent sleep, and the first day ended with: puppies! 🤎 Tuesday, I felt rather bläh, and I struggled to get through the day OK enough. Wednesday was another longer day, as Skoosh needed her maintenance and MOT, and then I had to take dad home, before I could get home myself. Thursday was an usual one, where I took my mum to Germany for some grocery shopping. Friday, I went to Lidl and had my physio. The weekend was rather relaxed, and I even managed some chores. But I still felt like I should have done more, especially when I see my Samsung activity summary, or in-activity, more likely... 😞 I had a very short night on Sunday evening, but I woke up to more than 60 pictures of the puppies, so that made it a wee bit better... 🐾 An infographic from "weer&radar" showing a 14-day weather forecast for Herpen, dated March 23, 2026.​The top section features a line graph tracking temperatures. Max temperatures (red dots) start at 15°C, dip sharply to 5°C on Thursday, then stabilize between 11°C and 14°C. Min temperatures (blue dots) fluctuate between 2°C and 6°C.​Below the graph, a row of icons indicates daily conditions:​Monday/Tuesday: Sunny (yellow blocks).​Wednesday: Lightning bolt (storm).​Thursday/Friday: Raindrops.​Following days: Mostly dry with a single rain icon on the second Thursday.​A color scale at the bottom labeled "veel" (much) to "weinig" (little) sun corresponds to the yellow intensity in the daily blocks. The footer includes the "weer&radar" logo and app store icons. Quick links to the days of the week: Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday & Sunday. […]

https://cynnisblog.wordpress.com/2026/03/31/journal-week-13-march-2026/

Journal – Week 12, March 2026

Some very busy days... But... PUPPIES! 🤎🐾🥰🐾🤎 And some of the usual appointments, chores, and things like that... Meeting the pups for the first time on Monday was so lovely! Doggy sitting all the galls and pups was wonderful, but I was super exhausted. So, Thursday came, and I tried to get all the German groceries for mum and me, but the rest of the day, I wasn't worth too much... On Friday, I was feeling a bit better again. Saturday was a good day, with a lovely walk. Sunday was more relaxed, a good way to end the week. Looks like we may be getting some nicer weather again this week... Hopefully, as sping comes, we'll start having better weather again. Could be good for some garden work, maybe... Quick links to the days of the week: Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday & Sunday. […]

https://cynnisblog.wordpress.com/2026/03/24/journal-week-12-march-2026/