When asked by a woman sitting next to her at a first night, "Are you Dorothy Parker?" "Yes, do you mind?" #DorothyParker #Parker

Ballade at Thirty-Five ...Princes, never I'd give offense, Won't you think of me tenderly? Here's my strength and my weakness, gents - I loved them until they loved me. #DorothyParker #Parker

General Review of the Sex Situation Woman wants monogamy; Man delights in novelty. Love is woman's moon and sun; Man has other forms of fun. Woman lives but in her lord; Count to ten, and man is bored. With this the gist and sum of it, What earthly good can come of it? #DorothyParker #Parker

Unfortunate Coincidence By the time you swear you're his, Shivering and sighing, And he vows his passion is Infinite, undying - Lady, make a note of this: One of you is lying. #DorothyParker #Parker

Sure, you make Money writing on the coast, and God knows you earn it, but that money is like so much compressed snow. It goes so fast it melts in your hand. #DorothyParker #Parker

To someone who congratulated her with the words "What are you complaining about? You're married to a charming, handsome man who adores you. What more do you want?" : "Presents." #DorothyParker #Parker

As far as I'm concerned, the most beautiful word in the English language is "cellar-door". #DorothyParker #Parker

Words of Comfort to be Scratched on a Mirror Helen of Troy had a wandering glance; Sappho's restriction was only the sky; Ninon was ever the chatter of France; But oh, what a good girl am I! #DorothyParker #Parker

On being told that Harold Ross had called her on her honeymoon demanding belated copy: "tell him I've been too fucking busy - or vice versa." #DorothyParker #Parker

Oscar Wilde If, with the literate, I am Impelled to try an epigram, I never seek to take the credit; We all assume that Oscar said it. #DorothyParker #Parker