اِجْـتِـرار (rumination)
Probably one of the most destructive hidden sides of daydreaming, beside the colorful and pink-glasses view that most texts and people make of it, would be (I argue) the comparison between what you are, what you were, and what you are dreaming to be. An act that is typically stamped as "Rumination"; going over the past all over again and again trying to solve something, something hidden, yet, it's not there, because it is the past and nothing to solve there, but you keep thinking; or maybe I should say, overthinking.
The issue is, at the core, is that you know that it's all gone and can't be fixed, yet, you take some amuse somehow in recalling that broken and fragile Self of the past; maybe somehow and in someway, we can call it a "self-flagellation". Yet, you keep on staring on these broken pieces of yours from the past and try to let them fit together in a hopeless trial to reconstruct, learn, make things better, despite your confirmed acknowledgement that the past will not come back, and it's all gone.
Do yourself a favor, friend. When you find your broken pieces scattered in front of you, just jump over them and keep walking. I'd even say, sweep them under a rug, but probably that would cause you to stare more at these broken pieces of you and your heart for a longer time. So, don't stare, don't touch, just jump over. The puzzle pieces you were hoping to put together to make a picture of you will never fit together, because that someone, and now you are someone else…
Keep on going, my friend…
#rumination #ruminating #think #overthink #project #miniature #matchsticks #goodmorning