Mastodawn

@dgar John, Jane, Joan, and Jack Mastodon are the only family to ever visit the bottom of the Mariana Trench. Without a submarine.

Last December, we learned a lot about #OtherThingsJohnMastodonDid.

Then, on Christmas Day, we learned about #JohnMastodonHolidayFacts

🤭

Legend has it #JohnMastodon taught #GordonRamsay how to cuss.

Legend has it that when #JohnMastodon uploads tutorials, he gets straight to the point.

#JohnMastodon just scared Elon Musk

Just looking dead right into his eyes and pronouncing the word

RHUBARB

#JohnMastodon helped Cisco Systems to connect the West Coast to the East Coast

building an entire network WITH ONE OF HIS CHEST HAIR

#JohnMastodon decides when it's safe for the computer to shut off

John Mastodon is not the creator of the Universe but of the Multiverse

#otherthingsjohnmastodondid
survived a mass extinction event, the likes of which the elon is in the early stages of

#otherthingsjohnmastodondid follow up story for MediaIte: Inside the gigantic ego of John Mastodon: even Facebook isn’t called “Zuckerberg”…