So, I’m a Year Into The Empty Nest…

For those who follow this blog, you know I’m more than a year into the empty nest. I discovered this short post I never published and thought I’d share it.

I drove by their high school today. It’s been a DECADE this month since my oldest (twins) graduated high school…

Six years since graduating university…

My ponytail scrunchies are no longer MIA. Scissors are in the junk drawer when I need them. Things are where they belong. The stairs are clear, no piles of laundry to take up.

Sigh…

Why is it unpopular to miss the full nest? Women generally rejoice when it empties, strongly nudging their last one out the door. I haven’t missed the side-eyes of those wondering why it’s been a harder transition for me.

I’ve worked full-time, part-time and stayed at home most while the kids lived under our roof. Hardest job? Home.

I didn’t get paid for those clean toilets and no one left a tip on the table for the food they scarfed down in 12 minutes. Colleagues weren’t milling about the house complimenting my colorful tee-shirt or black yoga pants, telling me I look pretty today.

Being in the full nest can be lonely. But it’s the fullest I’ve ever been.

So, I started doing things I didn’t have time for before.

I finally bought the heirloom quality, outrageously expensive workhorse pots and pans I always dreamed of – I cook far less and hardly use them.

I have way more time to go clothes shopping but it’s not as much fun without my (fashionista) oldest with me.

There are many aspects of empty-nesting I enjoy. Writing, reading, resting, more exercise. But I miss the kids. I miss each of them individually. I miss the collective family life under one roof. I miss the echoes of their voices, the home teeming with life on the daily.

But I can’t have the quiet reading, writing and resting with the former constant action of running to the supermarket because I was inexplicably out of ketchup again – even in the back-up pantry.

Then I needed to be on a ball diamond at 4pm, and a hockey rink at 10pm, followed by a quick house pick-up at midnight…and there’s no proper rest before the alarm goes off at 5:30am.

We kept this pace for years and the slowness is an adjustment. Good – but requires reorienting. Conforming. Turning.

Life is weird. I trust God has His purpose in all seasons. After all, He created our cycles of human existence: little ones, youth, mid-life, old.

Each life phase carries deep meaning, but that truth doesn’t make this time any less strange or uncomfortable.

Thank you for joining me on this final Monday in April. I wish you a safe, healthy and good week ahead!

Bird Images: Mine: Family5Power

Ridiculous #aging #middleaged #perimenopause experience today:

For my entire adult life I've had this one spot on my chin where a single dark, coarse hair will grow in from time to time. Not an uncommon experience; a lot of women have to pluck a few hairs here and there to maintain the illusion of smooth, perfect skin.

Discovered this morning that the hair had grown back, but now it's gone white -- and I only noticed it because I could feel it when touching my face, but couldn't easily see it any more against my pale skin.

So, my first white hair.... and it's on my chin.

I guess this is 40?

I’m currently 43 years old and will be turning 44 this July, so I would say that makes me middle-aged. I don’t really have an issue with this because, for the most part, I don’t feel my age, but social media has a way of telling me otherwise.
https://medium.com/prismnpen/where-is-my-representation-as-an-older-trans-man-8147c3b196ae?sk=73679f38ed885739cfc0913d9c5e3fc0

#LGBTQ #Transgender #MiddleAged #Representation

Typical weekend morning conversation in our house (context - we’d been watching The Chronicles of Narnia extras and one of the actors recounted a story about how, when they were in Downton Abbey one of the cast was overwhelmed in near tears and she asked him what was wrong and he replied ‘I’ve just found out you were Mrs Beaver…’).
Me (after referencing this anecdote, but without any actors names because I couldn’t remember them): I don’t think I’ve actually seen him in anything.
T’hubby: Yes you have, he was in that thing with the yellow king…
Me: …
T’hubby: You know what I mean!
Me: …
T’hubby: You do know!
Me: …
T’hubby: They were all psychic, and there was the invisible chaos king, and it had that woman who was a witch, who turned out not to be a witch in another show…
Me: Aubrey Plaza? Do you mean Legion?
T’hubby: Yes! I knew you knew!
Me: Oh yes!

Points if you can name the actor we were talking about!
#MiddleAged

New study finds way for #middleaged #adults to reduce #dementia risk

https://www.the-independent.com/life-style/health-and-families/dementia-symptoms-risk-exercise-benefits-b2868972.html