"There are some things one remembers even though they may never have happened."

Harold Pinter, Old Times

#ZarionZoryStory

#Memory #Nostalgia #Melancholia #Life

RE: https://zirk.us/@cyanotype/116731268982952743

MAN LOSES HAT
GETS SAD
SEEKS HELP

#hatstodon #lost #lostproperty #maharishi #melancholia #affectiveobjects #fedihelp #bitpatheticreally

Melancholia and creativity

From Mari Ruti’s Reinventing the Soul loc 3851:

…creativity as a tangible outpouring of psychic energy can take place only at the moment when melancholia is transcended. This instance of transcendence does not have to be—and rarely is—permanent, yet it is absolutely necessary for the subject’s ability to mobilize its inner resources in such a way as to be able to translate melancholia into meaning; the melancholy subject may reside at the threshold of innovation, but it is the very essence of melancholia to block and inhibit the subject’s access to its innovative capacities as long as it is incapable of finding its way out of the labyrinth of its melancholy investments.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4orCW0rKuAo

From Mari Ruti’s Reinventing the Soul loc 3424:

We will discover that insofar as melancholia activates the subject’s fantasy of being able to reunite with lost objects, it quite effectively bars the subject’s access to the signifier. In this sense, the melancholy subject is by definition a subject of silence. In Lacanian terms, melancholia represents a victory of the subject’s fantasmatic fixations over its sublimatory capacity to redirect desire along more rewarding lines. It represents a triumph of the imaginary over the symbolic, of fantasy over the signifier, of sadness over narrativization.

From Mari Ruti’s Reinventing the Soul loc 3454:

Melancholia therefore provides the subject an indirect means of sheltering objects that it considers so precious that their loss seems inconceivable. Such objects, which often take on a larger-than-life meaning and magnificence, demand the individual’s loyalty so intensely that disavowal becomes impossible; if the subject finds it difficult to relinquish its ties to a lost object, it is because psychic energy has been invested in this object so forcefully—with such ferocious fixity—that giving it up seems to threaten the subject’s very sense of self.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0jMEvF6hcrA

Szare dmuchawce

https://serdecznaprzystan.wordpress.com/2026/05/18/szare-dmuchawce/

A Walk Down Buray Avenue

September 12, 2021

It was just past midday on Sunday when I decided to walk home, the hesitant sun peeking through thick, dark clouds like Peter Pan playing hide and seek. As I passed by the White House, where the Divine Master once lived, I couldn’t help but feel a quiet sadness. The place looked old and neglected, though here and there were traces of unfinished repairs, as if someone had tried to restore it but lost interest along the way. I wished they had preserved it properly, like Jose Rizal’s house in Calamba—somewhere people could visit, a place that carried echoes of his life. The walls, worn by time and weather, seemed to hold stories and secrets. If only they could speak. If only they could replay the voices and whispers of the past. What a gift it would be to listen through time.

The Divine Master… How could I not think of him with both sorrow and wonder? I never met him. By the time he passed, I was 12 years old, living far from here. But those who did—those who saw him, spoke with him, felt his presence—what a blessing that must have been. I don’t know why, but I’ve always been certain that the man they called the “mysterious superstar of the South” was no ordinary man.

I’ve read many books—on religion, philosophy, physics, even the so-called myths of Jesus. Scholars debate them endlessly. But in all my reading, I’ve never come across another man who could pass on his power of healing, his ability to perform miracles, to those who followed him. Pythagoras couldn’t. Moses and Elijah couldn’t. Apollonius of Tyana, the sainted Comte de St. Germain, even Cagliostro—none of them could do what he did. No one else could shift between ages, appearing as a child in the morning, a young man at noon, and an old man by dusk.

Many saints and sages throughout history have demonstrated bi-location, siddhic powers, and other supernatural feats. But only one, if he can even be called a man, could bring the dead back to life. Only one could summon a newborn from nowhere—a reincarnation materialized. If Jesus turned water into wine, Ruben Ecleo turned seawater into gasoline. He could calm storms with a word. He could stay underwater for hours.

I once heard a story about a little girl who was crying over a broken toy. Master Ruben smiled, approached her, and opened his hand—out of nowhere, a bird appeared. He handed it to the child, wiping away her tears with wonder. He made the blind see, the lame walk, the deaf hear again. With a mere pass of his hands over barren wombs, women conceived. He predicted lives, forewarned of events, and never—not once—was he wrong. He was an enigma, a mystery no scholar, no skeptic, no professional could unravel.

These thoughts drifted through my mind as I walked down Buray Avenue, lost in nostalgia. The afternoon was still and silent. I could see the road stretching all the way to the sea, empty, undisturbed. The houses stood quiet, their inhabitants either napping, watching TV, or hunched over their phones. It was a long history I was walking through, but my memories of it weren’t my own. They were secondhand—handed down through stories from those who had been there, those who had seen him with their own eyes. Their testimonies were like modern-day Canterbury Tales, fragments of something larger, something sacred.

But what makes it all the more incredible is that many of those witnesses are still alive. Some have passed on, but others remain. Years ago, I had the chance to speak with Tatay Cuper Edera, who had seen with his own eyes the three men from a yacht anchored at Cabilan Island. In ancient times, the disciples lamented the lack of books to record the deeds of the Galilean Master. Now, we have all the resources we could ever need—yet we lack the writer who can truly capture them.

I once had a dream of a book titled The Life and Times of the Divine Master. I don’t remember its contents. Maybe I read it in the dream, but upon waking, all I could recall was the title. Maybe it was an Akashic record, something only readable in the spirit world.

These thoughts weighed on me as I walked. A deep longing stirred in my heart—an ache for a past I never lived, for moments I never witnessed. I never saw the Divine Master. I never heard his voice, never observed the way he moved, the way he carried himself. And yet, for reasons I can’t explain, I feel the loss of him.

My knees ached as I walked further down Buray Avenue, a lingering pain from last year. To my right, a large black boulder sat like a relic of the past, nestled among houses both new and crumbling. Concrete homes, carefully tended, stood in contrast to older, worn-down dwellings. A shirtless man sat on a bench beneath a tree, soaking in the breeze. A ladder leaned against a street post, abandoned, perhaps, for a lineman’s lunch break. Stores lined the street, bustling in their quiet way.

And this—this was the same street the Divine Master once walked.

It’s easy to keep walking downhill, toward the sea. But doing so means turning your back on the shrine.

And then, as I passed the Admin Building, a sudden, quiet ache filled me. I missed the Grand Master. I missed everything. And that was all there was to it.

#WilliamBasinski

J’aurais voulu être David Bowie.

#experimental #electronic #instrumental #neoclassical
#memoryloss #sounddecay #Ambient #Dark #melancholia #NewYork #losangeles #USA #tv #Music #Socialmedia

https://williambasinski.bandcamp.com/album/lamentations
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZlN981pKukc

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mjnAE5go9dI

https://williambasinski.bandcamp.com/album/the-disintegration-loops-arcadia-archive-edition