Billings, Josh - Josh Billings' Farmer's Allminax, 1874-11 (1874 ed.) | WIST Quotations

I believe pitty iz more ov an impulse than a principle, for we seldum respekt thoze that we pitty. [I believe pity is more of an impulse than a principle, for we seldom respect those that we pity.]

Quote of the Day

“We all of us believe that we are the special favorites of fortune, but fortune don’t believe any such thing.” — Josh Billings, Josh Billings’ Trump Kards

Billings, Josh - Josh Billings' Farmer's Allminax, 1874-01 (1874 ed.) | WIST Quotations

I hav known people who waz virtewous just bekauze they waz lazy, they hadn't snap enuff in them tew brake one of the 10 commandments. [I have known people who were virtuous just because they were lazy; they hadn't snap enough in them to break one of the Ten Commandments.]…

Billings, Josh - Josh Billings' Farmer's Allminax, 1872-07 (1872 ed.) | WIST Quotations

Convince a phool ov hiz errors, and you make him yure enemy. [Convince a fool of his errors, and you make him your enemy.]

Billings, Josh - Josh Billings' Farmer's Allminax, 1871-12 (1871 ed.) | WIST Quotations

Q. -- What is pity? A. -- Cheap charity. Repeated in 1874-11.

Billings, Josh - Josh Billings' Farmer's Allminax, 1871-09 (1871 ed.) | WIST Quotations

It iz one ov the hardest things on earth for a man to learn,—that he plays a third rate game ov whist. [It is one of the hardest things on earth for a man to learn -- that he plays a third-rate game of whist.] Whist was a very popular…

Billings, Josh - Josh Billings' Farmer's Allminax, 1871-08 (1871 ed.) | WIST Quotations

Lazyness iz a good deal like money, -- the more a man haz ov it the more he seems tew want. [Laziness is a good deal like money -- the more a man has of it, the more he seems to want.]

Bot Verification

Billings, Josh - Josh Billings' Farmer's Allminax, 1871-07 (1871 ed.) | WIST Quotations

Every time a man laffs he takes a kink out ov the chain ov life, and thus lengthens it. [Every time a man laughs he takes a kink out of the chain of life, and thus lengthens it.]

Billings, Josh - Josh Billings' Farmer's Allminax, 1871-06 (1871 ed.) | WIST Quotations

Whenever a minister haz preached a sermon that pleazes the whole congregashun, he probably haz preached one that the Lord wont endorse. [Whenever a minister has preached a sermon that pleases the whole congregation, he probably haz preached one that the Lord won't endorse.]