not mine

There it is, that little voice I haven’t missed.
She seeps in uninvited, like rain through a cracked window.
You’re not enough.

I fold the feelings back up again,
return them to the drawer labeled
things not mine
I didn’t want them anyway.

You’ve crossed no boundaries,
but the Savage in me trespasses.
She paces the room
counting what you give away to others,
tally marks on the walls of a prison she built herself.
Why does she always insist on competition where there is none?
Especially when she knows I’ll lose.

I hate her for taking your searching
as evidence.
She wields this as a cruel blade
and I indulge her like a masochist.
I ask the questions to hear the answers
I do not want
and then pick at the wounds to watch the blood.

One certainty settles, and I cannot like it.
I cannot stay here. This is unsafe for me.
How do I find the words to tell you
I have found a new boundary.
See! This is why I do not sub. The answer
is simple. Of course. I safeword.
I merely delineate new lines. Consent
is fluid, and I am allowed
to change my mind.
Except that little voice finds fault over and again. #nsfw #poetry #mine #bdsm #safeword #dominance #submission #boundaries #consent #selfEsteem #insecurity #polyamory #enm

I don't think I'm going to keep posting on Mastodon. Maybe I just haven't made enough of an effort and I'm giving up too easily but to be honest, I just don't feel like I have strong enough of a personality right now to ever do what I hoped to come here to: make friends and cheer people up.

When I posted here, replied, liked, interacted here, I didn't feel like I was connecting with someone, I felt like I was trying to infiltrate a community I have no place in. Everyone's already made their friends, everyone's already got their tight-knit groups, and I don't have anything I can offer that would make anyone care in the slightest; I might as well just upkeep my regular blog, since the only extra Mastodon seems to be giving me is insecurity by seeing everyone else just... Being someone worth being.

This note is just to sate anyone's curiosity on why I'm not posting here, if that ever happens.

#negative #selfdoubt #meta #mentalhealth #insecurity

It is a sign of great inner insecurity to be hostile to the unfamiliar.
-- Anais Nin

#Wisdom #Quotes #AnaisNin #Insecurity #TheUnknown

#Photography #Panorama #TheMaze #Dollhouse #Canyonlands #Utah

A series of studies, covering five countries and several thousand people, found a link between attachment anxiety and same-sex status-seeking. Intrasexual competition manifested through aggression and status displays rather than pursuit of prestige.

Summary: https://www.psypost.org/new-psychology-study-links-relationship-insecurity-to-the-pursuit-of-wealth-and-status/

Original paper: https://psycnet.apa.org/fulltext/2027-20783-001.html

#Science #Psychology #Insecurity #Status #Attachment #Anxiety

New psychology study links relationship insecurity to the pursuit of wealth and status

People with attachment anxiety constantly worry about being unloved. According to a new study, they often cope with this relationship insecurity by aggressively striving for social status and wealth to intimidate same-sex rivals.

PsyPost Psychology News
Nathalie Dormer advice about #criticism and #insecurity
https://www.theguardian.com/world/2026/apr/04/india-fuel-crisis-fertiliser-shortage-farming. "The World #Food Programme [WFP] has estimated that an extra 45 million people could be pushed into acute food #insecurity if the #conflict does not end by June."
‘India is going to face a food crisis’: Farmers panic over fertiliser shortages amid Iran war

Ripple effects of oil and fertiliser shortage felt by farmers in India and Sri Lanka despite governments saying there is enough stock to go round

The Guardian

Sitting here thinking about all the little telltale signs that you see in someone you care about when somebody in their life way back when, told them that they had no value and they believed them. 😔

That's a hard rock to carry around for the rest of your life.

#Insecurity
#TheDamageWeDo
#Family

Hey people of the fedi with insecure attachment patterns:
Have any of you found a good way (that works for you) to deal with the fear of falling in love with someone while knowing that a friendship with that person would be really good for you?

I'm willing to try anything that sounds like it could work for me.

#AskFedi #AttachmentTheory #insecurity

RFDA unveils its major expansion to fight food insecurity in northwestern Ontario
The Regional Food Distribution Association (RFDA) serves dozens of communities and First Nations across northwestern Ontario. The CBC's Mary-Jean Cormier got a first-hand look at the new upgrades at its Thunder Bay, Ont., facility.
https://www.cbc.ca/player/play/9.7127294?cmp=rss

Ouch! From the ex-Google PM who earlier built his own Palantir. All it takes is a software update to your router software, and..

"Your #WiFi Can See You. Here's How."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0OdR8rRMz3I

#Dystopia #security #insecurity

Your WiFi Can See You. Here's How.

Your WiFi is constantly painting a spatial picture of your home, and until recently, nobody was reading it. It turns out the same radio waves carrying your N...

YouTube